Crooks and Crazies

Need Dog Food?

2012-01-30T09:06:00.005-05:00

I was asked by the folks over at Mr. Chewy to go do a review of their site. I gave it a whirl (though please note that all opinions are 100% mine).

Mr. Chewy has over 70 brands of the good stuff to choose from, and free shipping over $49! That's a pretty big deal. They had absolutely everything I needed, and I found the prices to be comparable and in some instances quite a bit cheaper than the store I've been buying from. They carry Orijen, TOTW, Diamond Naturals, Acana... a very wide range of products. The website, in my opinion, looks nice and navigates well.

I ordered on Tuesday, and had my food by Thursday.

I was very impressed with their customer service - and I even tried out the chat with a rep feature. The person who helped me was nice and helpful, and I got my answers quickly.

I wound up saving something like $5.00 on this order over my regular place. My work-horse food (the one the most of my dogs eat) was a slight bit more expensive, but the others were so much cheaper that it was worth it. Not only that, but I'll admit that I loved the fact that I didn't have to drive to the store.

I was impressed.

If you're interested in giving it a whirl go to www.mrchewy.com and feel free to use my referral code, LKWI4566, to get 10% off of your order!

It is FRIDAY! Confess!

2012-01-27T12:27:00.002-05:00

It's time for a Friday Confessional hosted by Mamarazzi! I haven't done one of these in a while. It is time.

I Confess...

I did something really freaky and posted a post with a weird title and the Friday Confessional button and nothing else. I had a technofreak moment.

I Confess...

As I was walking through the door to the Thai place today to pick up my boss's lunch the wind kicked up. The wind actually blew my shirt up... enough so that I'm pretty sure I flashed everyone in the restaurant.

I Confess...

That I was equal parts horrified and tickled over the whole thing. I figure anyone looking deserved to see whatever it was they saw. Or not.

I Confess...

That I wish many bloggers would get more involved and engage with others via comments and such. That being said, I've been really thrilled to see a real sense of community developing with some of the dog-bloggers that have been linking to my Tell Me Thursday hop.

I Confess...

That on days when I host TMT I often wonder if people actually read my post. When people only comment to say "I did it!" I'm left to wonder if they're hearing me? I also know that a lot of people join in but don't link up and don't link back - and I wonder if they even know that someone has gone to the trouble of hosting it? In the big grande scheme of things it is a small thing, but I've heard other hosts mention this and now I understand.

I Confess...

That I feel guilty even saying anything about that. The people pleaser in me prefers to avoid confrontation, and doesn't ever want to make anyone else feel bad (nor do I want to run people off or discourage them from posting) but on the other hand I feel a spark of frustration that maybe will go away if I confess.

I Confess...

That this week I've been getting Zippy to put out his... er... you know... so that I could put some ABX ointment on it. It seems to be helping his situation, though it still isn't sitting exactly where it should. The oral ABX are helping too. I'm pretty sure that I might have missed my calling as a dog stimulation expert. I gotz skillz.

I Confess...

I've had preggers dreams again this week (and I'm not preggers - it would be immaculate conception if I were, lol). Weird. At least it wasn't those dreams where I'm putting my kids in dog crates and leaving for work.

That's probably enough for today. Happy Friday everyone!

Oh wait. Two more:

I Confess...

I've eaten three quart sized bags of pineapple this week. A friend at work, Sara, had a bunch of pineapple left over from a baby shower. It is some kind of good. Though I don't think three quarts is exactly going to make me the poster child for moderation.

and finally...

I got to work one day this week and realized that I had only buttoned my shirt down to the third button. Today I got here and realized I'd forgotten to zip my pants. I haz problems.

Tell Me Thursday 2012 - #4

2012-01-26T08:00:00.001-05:00

This week we're going with a theme week sort of deal. Most of these questions were posed by Kelly over at Timber View Farm (though I took some small editorial license, and added a question). I'll admit that these questions are making me dig - and I'll probably have to come back and add some later.

As always, please remember to come back here and add your name and a link sending us back to your specific post so that we can find it easily!

1. How do you search for and then choose a trainer?
2. The dog world is small and... uh... talkative. After choosing a trainer how do you handle those people in your life who don't believe in that trainer/trainers methods and criticize them to you?
3. Do you believe that a person's personal life should influence your choice of a trainer? (i.e do you believe a person's choice to be a party animal outside of work would affect your choice?)
4. When you have a break through moment with your dog, do you feel that moment makes your connection stronger with that dog and makes the next step in training easier?
5. Do you stick with just one trainer, or do you go to multiple sources for help?

For answering these questions I'm going to assume my world is better than it is at the moment and that I'm able to get my dogs out and train on them.

1. How do you search for and then choose a trainer?

I've always gone on word of mouth. I've always gone to check out trainers that friends have recommended. That being said, I make decisions based on several things, and one of those things is communication. I need to be able to understand what they're telling me. One of the things that I've always really liked about my main trainer squeeze is her ability to find different ways of communicating with me when I'm not "getting it". She also understands that sometimes I don't "get it" right away, but usually after I go work on it some it comes to me. I like that she tells me what she's doing, and shows ME how to do it too.

I also look for someone who can put their money where their mouth is. I think it's important that a trainer be successful (and I don't mean in the novice classes - I mean in the highest classes of whatever you're doing). They need to know what it is that they don't know, because as a novice person YOU don't really know.

I also have to like this person and feel like they treat me and my dog fairly. I have been in training situations that were Not. Good. At this point in my life I do these things because I like them, and I don't have the time or patience for me or my dog to be abused. I'll walk if that happens. Luckily for me in the dog world I've chosen well so far.

2. The dog world is small and... uh... talkative. After choosing a trainer how do you handle those people in your life who don't believe in that trainer/trainers methods and criticize them to you?

I smile, and nod, and then go on about whatever I was going to do anyway. I'm not big on confrontation. If they want to slam the methods I'm OK with that. But if they start slamming my trainer personally we're going to start having problems.

3. Do you believe that a person's personal life should influence your choice of a trainer? (i.e do you believe a person's choice to be a party animal outside of work would affect your choice?)

I guess for me it would depend on just how far I feel they're going morally compared to my comfort zone. I think sometimes it DOES, whether we want to admit it or not. I also think there's a real sliding scale on this. If I wasn't already friends with this person I might choose to steer clear if there were other comparable options. I'd say that what they do in their "other" life might lend some weight to my decision, but it would depend on what it is.

For example: if this trainer had a habit of bashing people behind their backs, and they weren't the only game in town I'd steer clear. I might would even choose to go to someone less skilled simply because I couldn't trust that person. But lets say this trainer was nice to me and nice to other people but liked to party sometimes... I'd overlook the partying thing.

Mostly I tend to weigh more heavily on the side of "What is their relationship with me and my dogs?"

4. When you have a break through moment with your dog, do you feel that moment makes your connection stronger with that dog and makes the next step in training easier?

It usually does. I find that a lot of times these breakthrough moments are followed by some sponge moments where the dog starts to just suck up everything you throw at it. I love lightbulb moments!

5. Do you stick with just one trainer, or do you go to multiple sources for help?

I like to have different takes on my dogs and what the trainers are seeing, so I try to go to more than just one person. I usually have a main trainer, and then might go to a clinician when I can, and then other times pump my friends. They love that.

A Little Something About Pia

2012-01-24T07:45:00.002-05:00

Ever since Bree moved out with my ex-husband I've been waiting for a dog with this particular knack - one that Bree had that nobody since has had - until Pia. Bree was a naughty little dog in many respects, and hard headed as the day was long. However, the one thing that Bree would do for me that none of the other dogs would do is retrieve random items from tight spaces based on my verbal shaping.

Pia seems to have this knack. It makes me SO happy.

Pia knows what "get your toy" means. But sometimes I drop things that I cannot reach, and sometimes things get crammed in the back of crates (and I cannot reach them without getting down on the floor). Having a dog around that will get these things is a VERY good thing. Not to mention they don't get enough work these days, so anything else I can give them makes them happy.

I've noticed that I can tell her "get your toy" and if she's going to the wrong one I can say "no" and then when she shifts I can say "yes" and follow that "yes" with a "good girl" and get her to get the toy I'm thinking of. June will do this to a smaller degree but the other dogs (Nick, Linc, and Ginger) all look at me like I'm crazy. But Pia? She's a little rockstar. The fact that she likes to put things in her mouth that do not belong to her seems to help with directing her. The other dogs just plain flat out won't pick up things that don't belong to them.

The other day Pia had wrestled her food bowl up on one end and had plastered it to the back of her crate. I let her out and sighed... knowing I was going to have to get on my hands and knees and go get it. Then on a whim I called her over there. I told her, "Get your bowl". She hopped in and out of her crate. So she understood that I wanted something from her crate, but not what. So she hopped in, and as she was facing her bowl I said, "YES! Good girl." From that point I verbally shaped it until I got her to pick up her bowl and bring it out to me.

Same thing with my slippers last night.

Nevermind the fact that I had to have her retrieve them because she'd run off with them in the first place.

Hey, we're not perfect. Just enthusiastic.

Pia is one of these dogs that wants to DO something for me. I like that. I shape behaviors in the other dogs with food sometimes (in a home setting), but I like that she can listen to my voice and respond without food. She seems to want to make me happy, and that makes me happy. Hopefully I can get her back on sheep before too long and see if she's grown up a little. I sure am looking forward to it!

Tell Me Thursday 2012 - #3

2012-01-19T08:00:00.004-05:00

Time for Tell Me Thursday, hosted by yours truly!

Questions for this week:

1. What is one lesson you've learned this week?
2. Who or what might you have been in another life? What might you be in a next life?
3. What unusual things do you like the smell of but don't usually admit?
4. What are your thoughts on continuing on vs. retiring when a trial run is going badly? How do you decide? Where do you draw the line?
5. This is a call for questions or subjects you'd like to talk about - I'd appreciate suggestions (and please come link up so that I'll be sure to see your post), so here's your chance!

As always, don't forget to post a link to my blog, and the button in your post... and then come back and link up!

Here are my answers. I know you've been waiting for it, right? All week? What I've told you lately about blind dates and dogs with pecker problems. Hah.

1. What is one lesson you've learned this week?

Here is my lesson for the day boys and girls. If you have an old boy dog that assumes the position to pee...

Wait for it...

DO NOT PICK HIM UP.

Picking up a peeing old boy dog in mind-stream results in a far bigger mess than if you'd just have let him make his little piddle puddle. Picking him up results in a shower of tiny dog pee pee that goes everywhere. Now instead of soaking up a puddle you must run around and blog up droplets of piddle all over the place.

Trust me... just let him make his puddle.

2. Who or what might you have been in another life? What might you be in a next life?

I mean for this to be a question to have fun and creative with (though I am a creationist). Anyway, I'm pretty sure I was Jerry Seinfeld in another life. He's one funny guy and I so totally identify with his brand of humor. I might have also been a lioness. Rawr. I loves me some big scary female cats. Sometimes I think I might have been born in the wrong era... or maybe I was a homesteader in another life.

For my next life, if this past week has been any indication, I'm in terrible danger of coming back as a Krispy Kreme donut. Or maybe an Oscar Mayer wiener truck. You know, cuz if I were an Oscar Mayer Wiener... everyone would be in love with me.

3. What unusual things do you like the smell of but don't usually admit?

I love to sniff peanut butter jars (inside, obviously). I like the smell of sharpies. Oh, and that paste they give you in kindergarten. I also love the smell of cigarettes the moment they're first lit (and no, I don't smoke and never have). I also love the smell of beer, even though I don't drink it. Yes, I'm strange sometimes.

4. What are your thoughts on continuing on vs. retiring when a trial run is going badly? How do you decide? Where do you draw the line?

This is a real tough one for me. I tend to retire too soon sometimes with my young dogs because I don't want them out there floundering for help and losing confidence (or worse making huge messes and damaging someone else's sheep or property). But sometimes I feel like I should have stuck it out longer. Then again sometimes I sit at a trial watching a run and I mutter, "leave the post leave the post OMG WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE THE POST AND HELP YOUR DOG."

I think this changes some with the Open runs - I've stayed at the post even when things weren't going the best (though certainly not total disasters), thinking that when most of the runs are sucking maybe mine will be of the lesser suckies.

It's a tough call to make. I'm not sure I'm very good at making the call yet. It is so hard to know the answer when you're the one running the dog. I hope that time and experience will help me to be better at this.

I tend to err on the side of retiring too soon, and going to help my dog.

I don't have to answer #5 cuz... uh... I'm asking all of YOU to give me some ideas. It can be any questions or any subjects you want or like to talk about.

So here's the code and linky widget:

The Blind Date Story

2012-01-16T07:45:00.000-05:00

Back in 2011 I had this blind date. I blogged BEFORE the date but not after. I avoided the after just on the off chance that he might stumble across my blog. Well, it's been a year so I figure statute of limitations are up. So this one is for Julie's sister, Renee.

I went on a blind date with this guy that I'd met off of match.com. After a month or two of emailing and phone calls I met him at a restaurant for dinner, for our first date. I was looking smoking hot, and prepared for sparks to fly. Or something.

On his profile he said he was 5'9". Now, I'm 5'8" flat footed, and I'm rarely flat-footed unless I'm barefoot. Most of the time I'm wearing about 2" heels, and clocking in closer to 5'10". That night was no exception. But hey, if he was 5'9" I figured I'd probably be more or less looking him straight in the eye.

He was 5'6" if he was an inch. Not only was I taller but I was practically TOWERING over him.

In all honesty he was rocking some pudge (and far be it from me to be too critical on THAT note) and he wasn't exactly rocking a full head of hair. I was going to overlook the fat and bald thing (hey, I mean, I'm rocking some fat myself at the moment). But I was really struggling past the towering over him thing.

I felt a little bit like "Lurch Goes Out to Eat".

It wasn't too bad, though, until we got up to walk out together. He definitely got some gentlemanly points for walking me out to my car (and for paying for dinner). I thought to myself that if he hugged me... oh I don't think so. Sure enough, the awkward hug moment came, and I shifted around and gave him one of those side shoulder hug/pat dealies. No way was I letting him plant his face... uh... there.

But then it somehow managed to go south from there. As we stood briefly talking he looked into my car and saw the crates. He started crying. In case you missed it, he cried. On a date. On the FIRST date. With ME.

He blubbered something about animals shouldn't be caged. He was totally down with the idea of six dogs, but the idea of them being in cages had him undone.

I'd hate to think how he'd feel about taking sheep to slaughter.

Needless to say that was the one and only date with him. He kept saying how we should do it again. Uh... no. I could overlook a lot, but the crying over the crate thing was bad. I like men to show emotion, up to a point. However, I expect a guy to get his Tarzan on early in a relationship.

Tell Me Thursday 2012 - #2

2012-01-12T07:45:00.000-05:00

For whatever reason every time I start a TMT post I hear "Everyone know what time it is? TOOOL TIIIIIIME!!!"

Here is how you play: Go to your blog, and start a new post. Make sure to link back to my blog. Copy the code at the bottom of my post for my button, and paste it in your post. After you publish, come back here and add yourself to the link widget at the bottom of my post. Done! If you need tech help just let me know. Don't forget to go see what everyone has to say!

Allrighty then. This week's questions:

1. Stopping your dog - what do you prefer? On their feet? On their belly? Some combination?
2. At what point do you start teaching this?
3. Do you have a favorite dog? I won't tell.
4. What is the #1 thing a dog can do to push your buttons?
5. Brrrrr... it's winter. What is your favorite soup recipe?

My answers:

1. Stopping your dog - what do you prefer? On their feet? On their belly? Some combination?

For me this depends on the situation. None of my dogs have an actual "stand" command (though it's on my list of things to do) but most of them will stop on their feet first when I give a "lie down" unless I'm pretty firm on it. They tend to sort of read my intent, and I'm ok with that. Nick prefers to stop on his feet on the drive, and unless he's unsettling the sheep I let him do it. Linc clearly prefers not to stop at all, and likes to stop on his feet. On the rare occasion that HE isn't spooking the sheep I'll let him do it. But more often than not Linc is spooking the sheep (just his presence unsettles sheep usually) so most of the time I put him on his belly. June prefers to stop on her feet but she's a naughty little creeper, so on her belly for her too.

That being said, on difficult and hard to move sheep I encourage them to stay on their feet, unless they or I think taking the pressure off is the right choice.

2. At what point do you start teaching this?

Usually at whatever point I think they can take the pressure. My dogs tend to not have a stop or flank commands for quite a while - though I'll use the commands conversationally. I'm more interested in letting them learn to feel their sheep than I am getting commands on them. But, like with a dog like Linc, sometimes I have to put a stop on them sooner than I'd like. He was one of those.

3. Do you have a favorite dog? I won't tell.

Sadly, I do. It's usually Nick, but sometimes it just plain depends on the day. I also have favorite dogs in different moments for different reasons. I also have least favorite dogs... like Pia when she excavated my phone line this morning. *sigh*

4. What is the #1 thing a dog can do to push your buttons?

On stock that is probably fight me. Nothing quite enrages me like a dog fighting me. I don't mean an occasional fight, I mean systematically.

At home the #1 thing is picking a fight with another dog. Or maybe trampling Zippy. This one is a toss up.

5. Brrrrr... it's winter. What is your favorite soup recipe?

My Chili recipe:

2 lbs LEAN meat - I use lamb, venison, beef, turkey, or some combo of each
28 oz can of crushed tomatoes
1 can diced tomatoes and green chilis (mild or hot) about 12-15 oz
1 to 2 15 oz can of beans (I use canned kidney or black, or pinto) drained and rinsed
1 jalapeno, seeded and diced
1 medium onion
2-3 cloves garlic
1/2 large green bell pepper (optional)
24-32 oz chicken stock (low fat), or water
3 Tbsp chili powder (more or less to taste)
1 Tbsp cumin
1-2 tsp Basil
salt to taste
crushed red pepper to taste

1/2 of a beer (optional)

Serves about 8-10, give or take, and a serving is about 1-1/3 cups. YMMV

In a large stock pot start browning the meat. Chop and drop the onion and bell pepper into the pot as you're browning the meat. As the meat is getting closer to brown, chop and drop the garlic and the jalapeno (you don't want the garlic overcooking and becoming bitter). Drain. Put in the spices (including salt) and stir to toast for about a minute. If you're using beer, pour 1/2 of a beer in, and use it to deglaze the pan (ie scrape up the bits of yummies on the bottom). If you're not using beer, use about a cup of the stock or water. Let that simmer and reduce for about 1 minute.

Next add all of the tomatoes & beans, followed by the stock until slightly thinner than your preferred consistency - as it will cook down some. Simmer for about an hour or three or four (or however long you have - sometimes I only have 30 mins).

Options - you can use a chipotle in adobo sauce for the jalapeno (very hot though), and you could use red wine (adjust points) to deglaze the pot (or just use the chicken stock if you don't like cooking with alcohol). If the meat is superlean (like 96% lean) I'd use some EVOO when browning the beef. This particular recipe is easily adjusted to taste. If you like it spicier add more jalapeno, or some of the seeds... or an extra can of green chilis, or some crushed red pepper, or all of the above. I

You can also try using only 1 Tbsp of chili powder and add a tsp or two of cinnamon and nutmeg. It gives it a totally different taste. This is especially awesome if you use venison and/or lamb, or sausage.

Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Zippy!

2012-01-11T07:30:00.005-05:00

Happy Birthday Small Dog! Zippy is 18 today. Wow. I never thought when I adopted him at 11 years old that we'd have at least seven years together. What a ride it's been, too. So much joy and laughter... and frustration too. But mostly the good stuff. Happy Birthday wee man.

Now for an update (which I know we've all been waiting for). I took Zippy in yesterday for his teeth to be rechecked, and to ask about his pecker situation. With regards to the teeth, they look great but the smell is returning. The vet thinks that it could have to do with the sutures, and we're going to give him another three weeks and look again.

With regards to the pecker... it turns out that his pecker pucker string is broken, more or less. The opening to the prepuce is not drawing shut tightly enough, and his penis is basically falling out. It collects debris and bacteria, and then gets all infecty and swollen, and either gets erect or just sort of pokes out some.

Realistically speaking if I was 126 years old I'm guessing some of my puckering abilities would be a bit compromised too.

The vet has decided to try (instead of ten days) a 21 day course of antibiotics. He says that we *could* possibly do some surgery to tighten the prepuce back up, but so far Zippy seems to cruise along fine and not have issues but about every six months, so if that's the case we'll leave it alone and just hit him with ABX on an as needed basis.

As I was getting ready to leave the vet's office I asked if I should put some antibiotic ointment "in there". They asked the vet and he said I should just... wash it. I said, "Um... I've never just washed a dog penis before. I don't even know how. What do I do?"

Needless to say the three vet techs and I all got tickled. I still don't know for sure how I'm supposed to wash his penis, but we're sort of figuring it out. A cold bath I can do. But wash it? I mean, do I need to make it poke out (not that it's not already poking out) or do I just wash what's already exposed? Am I just washing outside? Am I washing inside? What do I wash it with? Who washes dog penises anyhow?

No way was I sending them back in there to ask him all of that. We're just going to wing it.

Another Small Dog Chronicle

2012-01-09T07:00:00.002-05:00

Last week I noticed one evening that Zippy seemed hesitant to sit down. He seemed uncomfortable somehow, though it wasn't clear exactly how. He didn't seem to want to lie down in his bed for some reason (or anywhere else).

I took him out at bedtime, and saw that he was doing that weird run/sit thing again. The good thing is that now that I've seen this before I automatically knew what his issue was.

Zippy had a stiffy that wouldn't go down.

So a cold shower before bed (he was not impressed) and finally the wood receded so that he could lie down in his bed for the night. He yarked in my ear as he was not impressed with the whole cold bath thing, but I learned last time that the cold bath seems to help.

Yes. This is what my life has become.

I think I'm going to go into business for myself. I'm going to call my new company "The Spiffy Zippy Stiffy Company" and my tag line will read "For when only a cold shower will do..." or maybe "For when your dog's light switch is stuck in the 'on' position..."

Tell Me Thursday - 2012 Edition, #1

2012-01-05T12:19:00.006-05:00

Sorry for the delay folks! I really thought I would be all sorts of rowdy and gitterdone early, but no. Such is life sometimes!

Without further ado, here are this week's questions:

1. What is your favorite new toy? I know you have one, so you might as well go on and fess up.
2. If you're going to be caught under the mistletoe, who would you LEAST like it to be with?
3. New Year's Resolutions - for your dogs - share!
4. New Year's Resolutions - for yourself - share!
5. How did you handle the holiday food situation?

1. What is your favorite new toy? I know you have one, so you might as well go on and fess up.

My Mom got me a bunch of enameled cast iron cookware. I LOVE it. It's similar to the stuff that Pioneer Woman give away. OMG, fabulous. I now have a dutch oven, braising pan (squat little dutch oven, lol) grill pan, roasting pan, and a skillet. Really, really fun stuff. I have been eyeballing this stuff because none of my other cookware can go from cooktop to oven.

It look a little like dis:

Mom also gave me a really cool new DVD/Blueray player, but I can't figure out how to hook it up. Fail.

2. If you're going to be caught under the mistletoe, who would you LEAST like it to be with?

That little twerp from Deuce Bigelow. He creeps me out. Ew. He's a tiny little man, and he's a horny little weirdo. Maybe he's a nice person in real life, but usually he plays creepy little men on TV.

Oh, oh, and definite NO to the little orangutans they had on the news the other night. They will eat your face off.

3. New Year's Resolutions - for your dogs - share!

Get Pia going
Get Linc running Open (uh... yes, this would involve actually making some trials)
Work my dogs more

4. New Year's Resolutions - for yourself - share!

Finish losing weight
MORE COUGAR DANCING. This one's for you, Lora.
Get my own Zumba class going
See my friends more
Change my circumstances (I'll have more dog goals once this happens)

5. How did you handle the holiday food situation?

Handle? Does Free-For-All mean anything to you??? It was a massacre of every good eating habit I've collected this year. It was a bloodbath. A feeding Frenzy.

On the upside I was broke so couldn't really afford to go too overboard. Not that the scale knows that or anything. The scale agrees with me that it was a Food FAIL of epic proportions. But dang, it sure was yummy.

Ok, GO!

Onward

2012-01-04T08:00:00.005-05:00

2011 wasn't my favorite year. It wasn't the WORST year ever, but it certainly had enough suckiness to put it towards the top of the sucktitude list. I'm hopeful that 2012 will be better. It would really be difficult to NOT be better.

Well, there were some good things about 2011. I survived it. Oh, and Pia. Pia is a good thing. I made some new friends. Took up Zumba. Found some new folks to farm-sit for. Lost some weight. Spent some time with friends, though not nearly as much as I would have liked.

2011 went out in flames of sucktitude (remember the sucktitude list?). I sent Zippy in for a dental and he came home and brought some sort of respiratory crud with him. It raged through my pack like a wildfire. I was supposed to farm-sit over the holidays but let them know what was going on, and they elected not to risk it (and rightfully so).

Zippy seems to be doing very well though. He's eating better, and finally starting to put on some weight. I hope that 2012 will find me working my dogs more, and getting out more (spending more time with friends... I've missed them). I hope 2012 finds my circumstances changing for the better.

Oh, and by the way, I plan to hook you all up with a TMT tomorrow, so stay tuned. I also was thinking I might try for an average of 1 post per week in 2012, aside from the TMT post. For the mathematically challenged, that's 2 posts per week on average. Amazing, right? A girl's gotta have goals. We'll see how that works out. Next week I plan to break out the "blind date" story that I never told last year. I figure enough time has passed that I can trot it out and not feel bad about it.

Ann Wants to Know...

2011-12-21T07:00:00.004-05:00

Ann wants to know... What is your perfect dog?

She wants to know what I like in a dog. Good question.

I like a combination of things in a dog. I will say that some days I like one dog better than another for a certain job.

But overall, in general, I like a dog with a lot of natural that just needs some occasional input from me. I don't like to command a dog a whole lot, and if they're doing what I either ask for or need I don't feel inclined to say much. I'm not interested in telling the dog every step to take, and in the trialling department I'm willing to sacrifice some points because I'm not going to whistle my dog to death. It gives me a headache.

That being said I'm probably not going to win a lot of trials that way. *shrug* The truth of the matter is, that in order to get really tight and precise lines you're (usually) going to need a lot of whistles. So if I want to win trials (all other issues aside) I NEED to up my whistle game. That being said, you can ask my friends and they'll tell you I only have one speed... meander. Upping my whistle game and other stuff like that may be a challenge. Right now, though, no money to trial means it just doesn't matter so much.

And when I've got a good run going it's usually because my dog is reading things right and I'm not having to say much anyhow. If he's not reading the sheep well no matter of whistling from me usually will fix it (assuming we're talking about Nick). That being said, sometimes I do find myself whistling or commanding more than others.

In general, if I'm not at a trial (or doing any sort of really precise work) and not training - just doing a job - you may not hear me say much of anything to my dog unless he's being naughty. Actually, even if I am at a trial (assuming things are going well) you may not hear much more than an occasional steady whistle until after we turn the post.

I like to have enough under the hood - and a dog that even when it may be lacking in the toolbox it isn't lacking in the heart department.

I don't mind having to ride the brakes some. I don't care to have to urge a dog up. I don't mind having to have an occasional discussion with my dog. But I don't want to have to go to full out war with that dog every time I work it. I HATE butting heads with my dog on a regular basis. I don't mind my dog having opinions. I actually LIKE it. But then when I insist I want them to give in.

I like a dog that figures out what I want or what I'm asking and does it. I like a dog that has umph but knows how to turn it down a notch when I need careful quiet work.

I like it when a dog doesn't quit.

Ann specifically wants to know (my answers in italics):

•Do you like a dog that is really on the muscle? Sometimes. Not all the time.
•Do you like a dog that needs a steady stream of whistles? er... no.
•Are you a maximal or minimal whistler? Minimal. And if things get hairy I often move to voice. I'm not fast enough yet with the whistle.
•Do you like a natural dog that feels the sheep and just needs a little direction here and there? Without question. YES.
•Do you like a dog that prefers certain type of sheep? Not necessarily. I like a dog that adapts and learns from whatever type of sheep we're working.
•Do you like a dog that wants to partner up and be a really good team player? You betcha.
•Do you like a dog that really knows what s/he wants and you, as a handler really has to manage? To a degree, yes. But I don't want to have to manage this constantly.
•Do you want push? Yes and no. I want umph in a dog, but also the dog to have the ability to control that umph.
•Do you want a good listener? To a point. Definitely I like a dog that does the right thing when I'm wrong. Nick has saved my bacon many times this way.
•Do you want try? (Not tri.) Absolutely. The other stuff that I might not like doesn't matter as much to me when the dog is trying.
•Do you like a dog who gets the job done, no matter the sheep, but it’s a big job to get that dog listening? Not so much. For me if I have to beat the dog to get it's attention I am not happy. Like I said, I don't want to butt heads with my dog every time we work together. I won't do it.
•Do you want it all? Apparently. lol
•Can you have it all? I think so. Most of us spend our working lives looking for it, anyway. :)

How does your style as a handler select the style of dog you like?

I'm guessing that this will change for me as time goes on. As I'm exposed to different things, and then once I get my own operation up and running my needs and preferences will likely change. Well, to a degree. The fact that I don't like to tell a dog every step every flank is unlikely to change. The fact that I don't like to butt heads with my dog on a regular basis is unlikely to change. But some of the other stuff probably will.

Right now I like a dog with a lot of stock sense. One that takes care of me. One that when I turn my back I can feel comfortable believing that he's doing the right thing - or at least the sensible thing. I don't see that changing for me.

Pretty much Nick has been the perfect first dog for me. Linc is a very different kind of dog, and at first I was not happy. I don't know if he's moderated or if I've just progressed, but suddenly in the last year or so I like him a lot too. I think it's a moving target.

Seriously?

2011-12-10T21:19:00.006-05:00

Food Poisoning?

Seriously???

'Nuff said.

No. Not enough said. I'm getting ready to cross the line here, but it's my blog and I can do that if I want to.

First of all, my teeth are diametrically opposed to contact with ANY testicles. I'm sorry. Ain't happenin. After Nick and Linc were both neutered they wound up with floppy scrotum (spellcheck tells me that the plural of scrotum is scrotum. I think it's lying, but whatever). I had to inspect them as they healed, so I'm familiar. Even without the jewels I still can't even imagine a scrotum and tooth train wreck. Ew. Sorry to the men in the world, but I am pretty sure that women's idea of fantasy does not involve scrotum, or testicles. Ever.

Now combine scrotum/testicles/teeth and (gack I'm getting queasy just writing this) livestock? OMG no. Please say it ain't so. If it took castrating a lamb with my teeth to prove my toughness then I guess I'd just have to be considered a pansyazz. If a lamb's scrotum were the last thing standing between me and the buffet at the Golden Corral... well I'd just go hungry.

Yeah, they're slippery. The lambs suck em back up when you try to grab em. Frankly I suck at trying to band lambs. But I'm still not putting my mouth "down there".

I mean really. Dudes. You stuck your mouth near a lamb's butthole. You put genitalia in your mouth. What did you really expect?

Um... and I hope you are feeling better, cuz bacterial stomach bug stuff ain't no joke.

PS - calling it "food poisoning" bug was very polite.

Tell Me Thursday Surprise!

2011-12-08T05:00:00.002-05:00

Ok mah peeps, I'm hearing you guys out there. So here it is... a surprise TMT for you. I haven't been able to post or get around to blogs much, but I thought maybe this would be a way to check in. I know some of you have been cruising right along by yourselves - AWESOME!!

The new button was made for me by Nana at http://nananishigaki.com/ and you can see her dog blog at http://countersurfer.com/. She's an online bud of mine, but like many of you she's somehow become a real life friend. Nana rocks.

So. Tell Me Thursday. Questions. Hm, what to ask?

1. What are your plans for the holiday season?
2. Do you decorate? If so, what have you done so far?
3. a. Favorite recent dog photo? b. Photo that shows your mood today (or one word)?
4. There's been a discussion on the BC Boards about "don't train for the novice classes... just train for open and the rest will fall into place." What are your thoughts on this?
5. What are your top five cannot-do-without-them dog items?

1. What are your plans for the holiday season?

This year will be a little different for me. I plan to farm-sit. I've never been "away from home" over the holidays, and my Mom is worried that it'll be sad for me. Truly, though, the holidays have felt weird/sad/depressing since my divorce, and I'm not sure that where I am physically really matters. So I'm thinking to start some new traditions this year. Maybe it'll be chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.

2. Do you decorate? If so, what have you done so far?

Normally I do. This year, so far, I haven't. I have a 9' prelit slim tree that's absolutely GORGEOUS with my vaulted ceilings in the living room... but it's a bear to move even in pieces. Apparently slim does not equal lightweight. Two years ago Julie and Sandy came over, and we had a grand time decorating. This year I think I'm pretty much going to let it cruise on by. Maybe I'll get out the Santa stuffie that Spottie liked to make jingle with her nose. That surely will be decoration enough???

Not only that but Pia is such a good puppy until the second I turn my back. I have a sneaky suspicion that I'd be pulling her out of the tree somehow.

3. a. Favorite recent dog photo? b. Photo that shows your mood today (or one word)?

a. Pia on sheep over Thanksgiving. (Photos by Julie Poudrier using Robin French's camera)

It was close between that one and this one of me and Nick up at the setout between fun runs (and Julie's Ranger, too):

b. my mood today:

4. There's been a discussion on the BC Boards about "don't train for the novice classes... just train for open and the rest will fall into place." What are your thoughts on this?

Meh. I think you can't train for open specifically when you've never trained for open. I think it's the whole "you don't know what you don't know" thing. However, I think you should train your dogs with Open being the goal. The lower classes are meant to be stepping stones - learning opportunities, not end results. When I train my dogs I don't train thinking we're going to get around a Novice course - I train with an eye towards open level work. Then when it comes time to step on a trial field I think about how much I think the dog can handle and enter the dog in that class. BUT. This is a big but. When I'd only ever run in Novice Novice I had no earthly idea what I needed to do to get my dog to Open - even if I'd watched several trials.

Some days I'm still not sure I know much of anything. But, again, I'd say train your dog with Open being the ultimate goal (or Open level work). Excellent mentors, instructors, clinicians, and friends along the way are invaluable resources in this.

5. What are your top five cannot-do-without-them dog items?

5. Flat sided water pails
4. Double sided faux-wool crate bedding in the winter
3. Slippery Elm Bark powder
2. Crates
1. Tiny little beds for big dogs

Merry Christmas everyone!

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Updates but no TMT

2011-11-10T07:30:00.000-05:00

It keeps looking like my weeks are more and more swamped as the holidays approach, so I'm going to put TMT on hold until after the New Year. My apologies to everyone - I know we all look forward to it. Hopefully things will settle back down and we can keep rocking it after the holidays.

I got my ZUMBA® Instructor license last weekend. I don't have a permanent class arranged yet, but will be subbing for my sister next week, and hopefully will figure it out in short order. I'm both excited and nervous, but mostly excited!

For information on Zumba or to find a class to go to, visit www.zumba.com.

The dogs are all good. Pia's busy growing up, and Zippy's well... Zippy. He's hanging in there, though the old dog issues seem to increase every day.

So there it is. Everyone have a wonderful holiday season! If you have time to post an update on you and your pack today just come back here and leave me a comment so I can go see!

Tell Me Thursday #15

2011-11-03T07:00:00.005-04:00

It's time for Tell Me Thursday - Thankfulness Edition #1! For the four weeks of November I plan to ask you what you're thankful for every week. So there.

My apologies for flat out missing last week. All I can really say is that last week my work life got all wild and crazy on me, and I just didn't have the time/energy to post. One of these days I'll tell all of you about it. But not today. Suffice it to say that any prayers and good vibes would be appreciated. I can tell you that I've reevaluated and have taken everything as a kick in the pants reminder to take care of myself.

Anyway. On to more fun stuff! May the force be with you.

1. What are you thankful for this week?
2. How do you deal with a squeaker/shrieker/noisy dog?
3. Barbara wants to know: what would you say is ONE skill or attribute needed to be successful?
4. Pippin wants to know: what are your favorite games?
5. What are some of your strategies for dealing with winter?

And here are my answers. I may not have time to get to all of them right away but I will as the day goes on. If I was really organized I'd get all this together days in advance and be done with it. Oh but no.

1. What are you thankful for this week?

I am thankful that I have a job, and a roof over mine & the dogs' heads. I am thankful that I have great friends and a great family to love. I am thankful for Sara who brings me breakfast at work sometimes. I am also thankful that my fuse seems to be much longer today.

2. How do you deal with a squeaker/shrieker/noisy dog?

Clearly if I am asking this question it's cuz I suck at fixing this particular issue.

3. Barbara wants to know: what would you say is ONE skill or attribute needed to be successful?

Determination. I think if you are determined to do something, and then persevere to the end you'll do it. I guess maybe that's two things. Determination and perseverance. I can't imagine someone being determined and NOT persevering, but then I'm like a pesky little gnat. Or maybe a pesky big gnat.

It also doesn't hurt to be funny. Or hang out with me when *I* am funny. At the very least you'll enjoy being funny and determined with me. Ask Julio about the time we pounded fence posts on the rock hard ground to put up paddock fencing. In the 9000 degree heat. When there hadn't been rain in months and months and the area was sandrock. We were determined. And funny. Funny trumped determined and we got the fence up. I did the running man. They laughed. See? That's how things get done.

I digress.

4. Pippin wants to know: what are your favorite games?

I'm leaving this one open for interpretation. My fave online games are Ultima Online, and then the facebook free games. But I don't play UO anymore. I'm reformed. Board games? Um. Sorry. And Trouble. Card game? Shanghai Rummy. Or Spades. Unfortunately when I divorced my husband I also divorced his PS2. That was a sad day. I loves me some console games. Why yes, I am five years old.

My dogs' favorite game? "Bite Linc". Yes really. They love that game. Linc loves it too, which I find strange, though I think it's a pre-requisite if you're going to live in my household to BE strange, so all in all it's not terribly surprising. When I ask them to stop he gets up and asks them to keep going, so I've stopped worrying about it. I do wish that "Bite Linc" didn't also include a side game called "Bark Like June".

5. What are some of your strategies for dealing with winter?

First I break out the Cuddl Duds. I can't stand anything on my legs or feet at night, with the exception of these:

Image from www.cuddlduds.com. I like them because they're soft, stretchy, warm, and don't stick to the sheets. I sleep in them. Also, I usually also wear them under my outside gear too. Fabulous!!!

Also for winter I do like Julie and acclimate some, though not as much as she does. I let Ginger's coat grow out so she doesn't freeze, and the Small Dog has several coats from which to choose. I also bake a lot in the winter - it warms the front of the house up nicely.

I also do my best to take advantage of radiational heating. The front of the house gets full sun all day - so I open up the blinds and let the warmth in!

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Tell Me Thursday #14

2011-10-20T07:45:00.000-04:00

Hey, folks! I thought I would have time to at least pull up a full TMT lineup of questions this week, but I'm utterly swamped and there just isn't enough of me to go around. We'll be back in full force next week - so stay tuned!

So for this week I'm going to just put out an essay type question and let you all roll with it.

Here we go. I hate to say it but this one may not be a no-brainer exactly.

What obstacles have you overcome this week, and what did you learn from them? This can be training obstacles, life obstacles, whatever obstacles you want to talk about.

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Tell Me Thursday #13

2011-10-13T08:54:00.003-04:00

I'd tossed around the possibility of skipping this week since I have way too much on my plate, but then thought there might be some sort of revolt and someone might try to steal my two boxes of Little Debbie's that I bought last night. That would never do. In fact, I'm pretty sure that as I type Ginger is at home trying to hatch a plan to break into the oven and steal them.

In light of that, here are my questions this week. Those of you hoping for deep thoughts are probably going to be sadly disappointed this week. I'm fresh out of deep thoughts. I'm in a Little Debbie induced stupor. If we're friends on Facebook you probably already know this, but because of the sugar and fake chocolate overload I'm unable to control myself. Plus deep thoughts are scarce around here today.

1. What is your favorite Little Debbie snack? If you hate Little Debbie then I bow down to your greatness. (I suppose you can include some other favorite snack. Maybe it'll inspire me to get over LD for today.)
2. What do you use for laundry detergent?
3. Tighty Whities or Boxers? (this, obviously, is open for interpretation)
4. Dogs: On the bed? In the house? On the furniture? Never? What are your rules?
5. Favorite dog-related website (aside from my blog, obviously har har har)? Favorite NON-dog related website? Can be blogs, or whatever.

Have at thee foul Little Debbie.

Maybe I should entitle this one: Tell Me Thursday - Fluff edition. Or maybe "Tell Me Thursday - Laura wants to be entertained".

Here are my answers:

1. What is your favorite Little Debbie snack?

Swiss Rolls. Followed closely by the honey buns. Oh, and those little Christmas trees. Back in another life my ex-husband could throw down on some of those little trees. Of course I could too. As I said on FB... a pox on you Little Debbie. I managed to forget her for a looooooooooong time, but then my sister and mother had to bring up her name the other night. Then I got a hankering. Then they went on sale. Bah humbug.

2. What do you use for laundry detergent?

Back when I had enough money I used tide or gain. These days I mostly go for things like... "Xtra" or whatever store brand is cheapest. I want to get the most bang for my buck. HOWEVER. The other day I was looking around and ran across this blog (I got there from the Simple, Green, Frugal Co-op blog): Love Made the Radish Grow where she tells you how to make your own laundry soap. I collected the ingredients at my local "Ace Hardware" and whipped up a batch. AWESOME!!!! Good stuff indeed. I suspect it will probably take me 2-3 months to go through the batch that I made, and then I have enough ingredients for a second batch. I spent a total of about $9 for ingredients. So for about 6 months of laundry detergent I paid $9. Usually I buy about 2 bottles per month, at say $2.50 each. So $5.00 per month over six months is $30.00 - so I'm saving some. The small stuff adds up eventually.

Not only that but this formula is very green - and you can control what goes in it.

Next month I plan to make a batch of castille soap to use for my soap shavings. Yet again, I can control what goes in it.

3. Tighty Whities or Boxers?

Tighty Whities!!! I don't even know why. I just like the way they look. Plus in a pinch I can borrow them. That is, assuming that he's not way smaller than me. If he's way huger than me I can just tie a knot. See? Multipurpose. Plus I can put a pair on a dog if I have to. Boxers? Cute, but mostly useless.

For me personally I do a bit of everything. Granny Panties, high cut, string bikini, regular briefs... no thongs or boy shorts. I tried boy shorts for a while 'cuz I thought they were cute but then realized that boy shorts only look cute if you LOOK like a boy. Otherwise, if you're me, you just look like a fat girl squeezing into some kid's underoos. Not pretty.

4. Dogs: On the bed? In the house? On the furniture? Never? What are your rules?

Rules? We have no rules at my house. Dogs, dogs everywhere. Actually there are quite a few dog beds on the floor, and mostly when we're hanging out the dogs either get in the dog beds or lay on the floor. Ok, and sometimes Pia does zoomies and banks off of the backs of the couches. Rules schmules.

Though I do let dogs sleep on the bed the only ones who do are Nick and Ginger.

5. Favorite dog-related website? Favorite NON-dog related website?

Favorite dog-related website is usually the BC Boards. I really don't post there much any more, but I like to go lurk.

Favorite non-dog-related site is a toss up between the Pioneer Woman and the Simple, Green, Frugal Co-op. I'm also totally digging a soap making forum this week. I finally tried my hand at making home-made soap this past weekend. I'll have to do a blog on that soon!

Until next week...

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Tell Me Thursday #12

2011-10-06T09:16:00.006-04:00

Well, it looks like another week bites the dust. Glad we made it. Just so that you guys will know, I'm having trouble leaving comments on the blogs that have the little ID drop down boxes. For whatever reason blogger won't let me comment on them. The ones that pop up seem to be working. So I'm not neglecting you!

Secondly... I don't have my cell phone today, so the only way to get me today is email or here on my blog.

1. If you won the lottery (a big one... I'm talking stupid muchos cash) what would you do with the money?
2. After winning the lottery would you work a day job? If so, what would you do?
3. Do you have any auxiliary dogs? Auxiliary dogs are dogs that are not essential to your main purpose (usually tiny, but not always). If you don't have an auxiliary dog what might you choose?
4. Do you have a favorite crock pot recipe (or other recipe) you can share?

Stopping at four today since #4 might be tricksie. :)

Here are my answers:

1. If you won the lottery (a big one... I'm talking stupid muchos cash) what would you do with the money?

I would so buy a new mattress and box springs. This is #1 on my list. Some people would buy a new car. Me? A mattress that won't make my back hurt. Every. Morning. Beyond that I'd pay off my house and rent it out - and find myself a lovely decent sized farm to buy. I'd get an RV - one of the smaller ones that the truck and sleeping areas are all the same vehicles. The last thing we want me doing is trying to pull a trailer. I'd get myself a little beater car hatchback that gets good gas mileage for driving around. I'd have a ton ass of sheep.

And of course I'd donate some money. But I'm not going to act all righteous and say "all I'd do is give it away". Not. Happening. I'm not even going to pretend otherwise. One thing I'd like to do is give a hefty donation to Ovarian Cancer Research in honor of Joan Knight. I'd also like to fund a scholarship to the first college I went to (Southern Wesleyan University).

But yeah. A new mattress.

2. After winning the lottery would you work a day job? If so, what would you do?

This is a toss up for me. I might would just farm. The idea of living as sustainably as possible appeals to me. Or... I might go teach gymnastics again, but I have so many memories tied up in that (many of them quite negative) that I doubt I'd do it. I might would farm for my "living" and just teach a few Zumba classes a week. There's no way I could just NOT do something for work. I also think it would be fun to work at a dog food store. I'm a nerd like that.

3. Do you have any auxiliary dogs? Auxiliary dogs are dogs that are not essential to your main purpose (usually tiny, but not always). If you don't have an auxiliary dog what might you choose?

Why yes, indeed I do! Zippy, aka Small Dog, is my main Auxiliary dog. He's almost 18 years old (will be in January) and I adopted him when he was 11. He's been great fun, though I think his time with me is now limited. He's given so many of us such joy and amusement, and I'd like to think that I've given him a great life in his golden years.

His early years suxxored bad - he was in and out of rescue I think they said seven times by the age of 11. He was half starved at one point, and then given lunch meats to fatten him up. He was tied out. He was kennelled (who kennels a ten pound dog??). Who knows. I think he had some love in there too, and I'm glad we found each other.

He used to bite my ex-husband on occasion. I came eventually to agree with him on that one.

4. Do you have a favorite crock pot recipe (or other recipe) you can share?

This is one I just tried from www.weightwatchers.com. I did some adaptations and I'm including them here:

1 pound(s) lean leg of lamb, stew meat, cut into 1-inch chunks
15 oz canned beans or chickpeas drained and rinsed
14 1/2 oz canned diced tomatoes w/green chilis, undrained
1/2 cup(s) canned beef broth or water
1/2 large onion(s), chopped
1/2 green pepper chopped
1 clove(s) (large) garlic, minced
2 tsp ginger root, freshly grated (I used 1/2 tsp dried)
1 tsp table salt
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp black pepper
2 Tbsp dried cranberries
1 tsp sugar or splenda or to taste
2 tsp balsamic vinegar or 1 TBsp fresh lemon juice

Put everything but the vinegar in your crockpot. Cook it 6-8 hours on low. 7 was about enough. Last five to ten minutes stir in balsamic vinegar or lemon.

It did NOT call for searing the meat, and surprisingly it turned out GREAT. Very little fat on top, so little I didn't even bother. Very tasty - but you do need the sweetener to bring out the cinnamon and ginger.

Serving size 1 cup, and about 7 points plus WW values. I served over 1oz of pasta, but would be tasty over couscous or rice, or even alone!

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A Departure from the Norm

2011-10-05T17:14:00.001-04:00

I've finally sworn off Internet dating sites (well, at least until the next time I get bored on a Saturday night). Good for me. But I've not yet completely sworn off dating totally. Anyway, I happened to run into someone a week or two ago that I knew when I was a kid (only vaguely though). After running into each other we sent a few facebook messages back and forth.

Then he asked me out for Saturday night. Normal stuff... dinner and a movie. YAY me! I said yes, and was really looking forward to it.

We tossed around a couple more mundane messages when the conversation went really far south. It went a little like this:

Him: Beard or no beard?

Me: I don't really care. I totally dig facial hair on men, but it's a matter of what makes you happy. I was distracted the other day and didn't notice if you had facial hair or not. So go with what makes you comfortable.

Him: I'm curious... just how freaky are you?

To this I thought, Ok, maybe I'm not understanding the question. If you know me you know that I'm not always the quickest on the uptake when it comes to lewd suggestions. Some things just fly right over my head. So I figured I would shut this thing down nicely but try not to completely run him off. I'm walking a line here on this one.

Me: Telling you would take all the fun out of finding out.

See? A little flirty, but dodging and not wanting to go there. In retrospect I should have just gone ahead and delivered the People's Elbow right then. But ya know, I was trying to somewhat preserve this rapidly deteriorating situation. I was hoping that he wasn't trying to go there. That I'd misunderstood.

Him: I like your attitude. Ever been in a threesome?

Yep. He's trying to go there. I wasn't misinterpreting. Apparently my response wasn't the correct one to convey my intent. No more nice girl. No hinting, no dodging - clearly it was time to lay it out there. Liking my attitude wasn't exactly the message I was trying to convey, so I figured I'd better get pretty blunt.

Me: Ok, so clearly I'm not freaky enough to be having this sort of conversation with you this soon.

Him: I'm horny. What are you wearing?

Seriously?

He then proceeded to give me his cell number so that I could text him because it would be faster and "more responsive". Uh... sorry dude. I've had enough response from you.

Me: I think we're on totally different wavelengths here. I'm going to have to pass on the Saturday night thing. But take care!

Him: SILENCE.

I mean, really?!? How do we go from mundane to this? Do people really get this personal so quickly these days? He's not the first guy I've had to fend off with this whole "sexting" thing since my divorce. It's really too bad - the guy is really nice looking and seems to have his life in order.

I'm really REALLY mad at him for screwing up my first date with him. Now it's a no date. Poo.

Julie asked me, "Where do you find these people?"

I have no idea.

Tell Me Thursday #11

2011-09-29T09:10:00.008-04:00

What? Why yes, it is National Give Laura Chocolate Day. No, not really, but I've been trying to convince people for two weeks that it is. I guess you guys want to know what it is that I want to know this week, hunh? Allrighty then. Here we go:

1. What movie do you love but are too embarrassed to admit you love it?
2. Ann wants to know: How far do you drive/travel to attend trials, clinics, lessons? How far is too far?
3. What is your theme song (circa Ally McBeal)?
4. Laura S wants to know: If you had to choose a new dog activity, one that you had never done before, what would you choose?
5. What would your dog choose (or scribe, if you're Pippin)?

1. What movie do you love but are too embarrassed to admit you love it?

Ok, I secretly love the Ace Ventura movies. They're crude and disgusting, and I laugh like a lunatic every time I watch them. Even when I'm grossed out I still can't help but watch and laugh. Most of my friends know that I have a teenage boy type taste in comedies, but I rarely ever admit to loving me some Ace Ventura. Alllllllrighty then. Glad we talked about that.

2. Ann wants to know: How far do you drive/travel to attend trials, clinics, lessons? How far is too far?

Right now I'm pretty limited by my transportation. If I had a more reliable vehicle and more money I'd happily go 8-10 hours away. As it is now I have the AAA 200 mile towing thingie, so I go no more than 200 miles. :)

3. What is your theme song (circa Ally McBeal)?

I'm sure you're all wondering what the phooey I'm talking about. Last week we talked about theme songs on the trial field. Now I'm wondering about other theme songs - life situation theme songs. I actually have several theme songs, prepared for different situations.

a. When I'm wearing heels and walking my sexy walk I play "Mustang Sally" in my head. Oh yeah.

b. When I'm walking down the hall with my boss' tea cup in my hand I play the "Imperial Death March" in my head. You know, think Darth Vader.

c. Sometimes it's "Fat Bottomed Girls" for just random days. Yes. Really.

4. Laura S wants to know: If you had to choose a new dog activity, one that you had never done before, what would you choose?

Probably Dock Diving. I cannot bring myself to consider some of the more sedate ones and though I loves me some cougar dancing I don't care to do freestyle particularly. Well, maybe I could teach my dogs the "Running Man" and we could do our freestyle to some MC Hammer songs. I hear that Hammer pants are coming back in style. I think I still have mine somewhere.

5. What would your dog choose (or scribe, if you're Pippin)?

June would choose Flyball. But really... there's just no sanity in putting June in a situation that might involve barking. Nick and Linc would totally choose Dock Diving. I don't know about Pia yet - though she does love to tool around in a pond. Ginger? Sunbathing. Zippy? Snorkeling, apparently.

What? Sunbathing and Snorkeling are not dog sports? The heck you say.

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Friday's Flea in Your Ear

2011-09-23T10:21:00.002-04:00

Friday's Flea in Your Ear (Fitness Tips):

- Today at every stoplight suck in your belly. Tighten up your abs and hold them until the light turns green. Don't forget to breathe. If you're not driving then try it when commercials come on TV. If you don't have TV... well... pick something.

- If you find yourself munchy hungry ravenous get in my belly later in the day take a look at your protein intake in the morning. Bump it up a little and see if your willpower doesn't take a serious boost!

Tell Me Thursday #10

2011-09-22T09:16:00.007-04:00

I actually forgot that today was Thursday until just now. Today's TMT is somewhat of a Free Form Edition. What I mean is that I'm going to give us all a broad topic, and I'm being intentionally vague because I'd like for everyone to feel like they can interpret it and answer it in ANY way they choose.

That being said, do me a favor. When you come back to link up please link to your specific post. Then, six months from now, we'll have it for comparison right at our fingertips. More or less. You'll see why when you see the question/topic.

So. Today's TMT Question/Topic is:

Going forward over the next six months, what are your goals?

Goals. I gotz them. For my life in general over the next six months:

1. Get my Zumba instructor license, and start teaching.
2. Get my finances all in a place that makes me happy (or at least be moving in that direction)
3. Clean up the potty mouth (how does this keep coming up on my list???)
4. Lose 35 pounds
5. Change my work circumstances
6. Make lots of lanyards to sell
7. Farmsit more
8. Get a new CrazyMobile. I don't WANT to add this one to my list. *sigh*

For the dogs:

1. Get Linc running in Open, or at the least ready for it. I guess this would involve actually making some trials. And working my dogs more regularly.
2. See how Pia progresses, and start her when she's ready. I'll probably give her a go about once every month or so until she seems ready. This may or may not fall into the six month time frame
3. Get Nick some places where I can stretch his outruns some.
4. Try to know when it's time to do the right thing for Zippy. I don't want him to linger and suffer. I don't think that time is too far off, unfortunately.
5. Get my dogs all worked more regularly.

This isn't a goal specifically, but I've been tossing around the idea of writing a book. About chickens.

My overall general goal over the next six months is to put myself into a place where I'm doing more in my life than just existing. More than just surviving. I guess in this world and this economy there are probably a LOT of people that are just surviving. I know I'm not alone. But I'm over it. SO over it.

In six months we'll do this again - and compare to see where we are in accomplishing our goals. Goals are good. They keep us grounded and motivated!

Have a great weekend everyone!

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Lanyard Winner

2011-09-16T06:51:00.007-04:00

Using a random drawing generator, cuz I didn't go to Zumba last night, we have a winner. Doniene won the drawing, and has the option of a lanyard or scarf. Doniene, I'll send you an email! Congratulations.

Completely coincidentally, Doniene has linked up every single week!

Pia Wild Wing says thank for playing!

Tell Me Thursday #9

2011-09-15T06:59:00.005-04:00

It's that time again! Time to tell me what I want to know. I am actually this nosey in real life, though I don't grill my friends. They just don't know I'm this nosey because I just let them think they're telling me because they want to. It's my evil plan for world domination at work. muahahaha

This week I'd like to know:

1. If you're not at the 2011 Sheepdog finals this weekend what are you planning to do?
2. One item you NEVER walk onto the trial field (any trial field, or training class will suffice) without?
3. Katy wants to know if you have a pre-run ritual that you observe?
4. How old were you when you had your first real kiss?
5. Bonnie wants to know what you do for yard mud control during the winter?

1. If you're not at the 2011 Sheepdog finals this weekend what are you planning to do?

I was thinking about hosting a "finals party" at my house for all of us who can't afford to go. But then it occurred to me that if we can't afford to go then probably we can't all afford to drive to my house to feel sorry for ourselves. So instead I'm planning to watch pretty much every moment of it on streamed video. WOOT! I also plan to eat lots of PB&J sandwiches. I'm going to turn into a PB&J.

So don't be calling me unless either a. the world is ending or b. you have amazing commentary cuz you're watching the streaming too.

Or maybe c. you have really good gossip that can't wait. Or if something is really wrong. And don't be coming over here unless you bring food. And diet dews.

I'm mostly kidding about not calling me. I'm not even kidding about bringing food if you show up on my doorstep though.

2. One item you NEVER walk onto the trial field (any trial field, or training class will suffice) without?

Sunglasses. I never ever walk onto the trial field, training field, or out into a pasture without sunglasses. The downside is that often I like to hang them on my shirt, which often tangles them up with my whistle/lanyard, and then I have to stand there and detangle. You'd think I'd learn my lesson.

3. Katy wants to know if you have a pre-run ritual that you observe?

I go to the porta-john. Repeatedly. Yes, really. Even if I don't need to go I think I need to go. Over and over. I also stand there and try to look like I'm cool and composed but inside... porta-john baby. I used to try to envision our runs but usually I got too creative and thought about train wrecks. I found that to be rather counter productive. So now I just sort of wander around and try to breathe and not throw up.

Oh, and I don't eat before a run. Even if I don't run until 5pm.

When I walk onto the field with my dog I play the theme song from the first Matrix movie in my head.

4. How old were you when you had your first real kiss?

Stop reading Mom.

12. It was gross. I get all ewwww just thinking about it. I'd rather never kiss again the rest of my life than have to endure THAT again. Oh wait! I'm already well on my way with the "never again" thing, eh? Yeah, no magic there.

5. Bonnie wants to know what you do for yard mud control during the winter?

I pretty much just hope for the best. I leave the yard alone but if it's wet out I line the kitchen floor (my back door is the kitchen door) with towels. If it's really, REALLY bad nasty out I let dogs in one at a time and towel off feet. Yes, that's a lot of feet. But hey... I have white carpet. Don't judge me. The white carpet came about when I had only one dog.

I'm thinking about throwing down some straw this year. I've tried mulch in other areas but for some reason my dogs just want to eat mulch. Weirdos.

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Random Blather

2011-09-14T16:43:00.007-04:00

Oh yes, it's time for another random blather post.

I got a new cell phone Friday two weeks ago. It randomly turns itself off when I try to view my own freaking blog with it. My own blog hates me. Or the phone hates me. Maybe both. This annoys me. It also begins to randomly flash the screen light on every 15 minutes beginning sometime around 4am. This also annoys me (um... hello... and it wakes me up). I'm going to have to go to the Verizon store tonight to take it back.

Annoyed.

And, no, I don't recognize the ring tones on this phone as "rings" any more than I did the other one. I also don't lose it any less. However, it does have a nice little guard so that when I drop it (which I haven't yet) it won't damage it as much. Small favors.

I bought the unlimited ticket so that I could stream the 2011 National Sheepdog Finals to my leetle heart's content. Last year I could barely drag myself away from the screen. I cannot wait to start watching! If you want to watch too, take a look at the links in my post from yesterday. I just can't help it. In case you were wondering, buying the unlimited ticket is pretty much two weeks of very conservative grocery shopping. I will likely lose weight the next two weeks. Which, isn't that really the point? Sortof?

PBJ... oh PBJ... wherefor art thou, PBJ? In my belly you say? Oh my love, PBJ.

A Zumba instructor class has opened about 30 minutes from my house in November. I'm signing up tonight! Well, I will be if I ever get out of the phone store.

Oh yeah, I'll be teaching Cougar Dancing in NO time! Lookout world.

While farm-sitting for Julio little miss Pia turned on. I didn't get good video, but it was good! She went from bopping along behind me to WOOT SHEEP! in 0.2 seconds. Ok, more like thirty seconds.

I know I owe new Pia pictures. Soon, I promise! She has a few longish hairs near the withers, and off of her little butt cheeks but otherwise she's still downright slick. All but her floofy ears.

I'm thinking I might occasionally post some lanyards here, and if anyone wants to buy them they can. No pressure. Seriously.

I also promise to do the drawing tomorrow night. I live by myself and they don't take kindly to personal crap at work, so I've not had anyone to help. I'll get my sister (please!) to help me at Zumba.

I love ice cream cake.

Being lactose intolerant sucks.

This does not stop me from eating ice cream cake.

Or bacon cheese fries.

That is all.

2011 National Sheepdog Finals

2011-09-13T09:20:00.011-04:00

The 2011 National Sheepdog Finals are upon us. I'd like to give a special shout out to my real life buddies, and to my blogger friends who are running there. Best of luck - I know you'll all rock it!

Last year I watched the Finals streamed live - and this year they're doing it again (though somewhat differently).

For information on streaming video watch this Instructional Video.

Click here to pre-order your DVD.

To register to view the webcast please click HERE.

Since I'm in a linking kind of mood, here are a few more for you:

Sheepdog News
Finals Blog

Lastly, per Heather via the BC Boards please also note:

1. DVDs are ten percent off up until the end of the Finals on September 18. After that, they can be ordered through early November. Once the ordering deadline has passed, they won't be available again unless they show up on Ebay. So if you think you might want one, buy one! (I've gotten a lot of emails over the past year from people who really want to buy the 2010 DVDs, and are sorry and surprised to learn that they can't.)

2. If you've purchased an unlimited web cast ticket, you'll be offered a further discount on your DVD. So if you`ve bought such a ticket and want a DVD, do NOT order now. You'll be sent an email after the web cast with a link for your discounted price.

Best of luck to all - wish I could be there!

Tell Me Thursday #8

2011-09-08T09:19:00.016-04:00

Guess what? We hit 20 people linked up last week. I'll be doing a drawing over the weekend and will contact the winner. I think more people have been playing than have been linking up, so as per usual don't forget to link to my blog in your post, and then come back here to link back to YOUR post.

This week's questions (my apologies - I'm not so much into digging deep this week. I promise to get back to more thought provoking subjects next week):

1. What is the biggest thing that grossed you out over the past week?
2. What do you feed your dogs?
3. If you could move anywhere where would you live?
4. What is the funniest thought that occurred to you (or thing that happened to you) this week?
5. If you couldn't have your breed of choice what would be next on your list?

I'll have to come back and answer as I have time today. We had a death in the family over the weekend and with evertything that's been going on time is sort of sparse at the moment. But you guys should stay tuned... there will probably be a chicken story in here somewhere.

My answers (editing to add):

1. What is the biggest thing that grossed you out over the past week?

Well... I farm-sat for Julie over the long weekend. I think pretty much by now my feather-phobia is pretty well known, but in case you don't know... I'm skeered of chickens. Anyway, there were two chickens sitting in nest-boxes when I went into the chicken house (shudder) to collect eggs on Sunday. I needed to get the eggs from under them, which meant I was going to need to put my hand under them. I took a stick in there thinking I could just poke the chicken with the stick and while she was distracted I could steal the eggs.

This sort of worked. The first chicken pecked the stick (I screamed like a little girl every time she pecked the stick) and stood up. But she didn't come out. So after she stood I walked out of the chicken house.. and she jumped down to get some chicken feed.

SCORE! I jumped in and collected her eggs. Ok, more like walked carefully around the throng of chickens at my feet, but whatever.

The second chicken was NOT moving. She pecked and pecked and I screamed and screamed. FINALLY I just stuck my hand in there. She pecked the stick and she pecked me, and I chanted "Oh god oh god oh god" and got the eggs out. Thinking I might have missed one I put my hand back in there. This leads me to my grossest thing of the week (and it's not what you think):

I touched her legs. I literally almost threw up on the spot. Chicken legs are not cuddly. They're scaley and... just... ew. Gross. I don't know how I ever thought I could actually catch and kill a chicken when just feeling their feet makes me want to hurl.

Second grossest thing was that I kept rapping my head on their perches in the chicken house. I now probably have chicken disease in my forehead.

Oh, and Sandy? Sandy stood there and watched. I'm sure we all wish she had videoed.

2. What do you feed your dogs?

At the moment Diamond Naturals. I rotate around, and I like to I try to get them onto something that is NOT a Diamond product. But really it's the best bang for the buck I've found. Sometimes I add in some canned food, cottage cheese, sardines, eggs, mackeral, ground lamb, or whatever. But I'm careful with the add ins these days as I often work long hours and try to avoid potty problems. When money was better and before P&G bought out Natura I rotated with Healthwise or Innova Adult when I could.

3. If you could move anywhere where would you live?

Ireland. Or Scotland. Or Wales. They call to me. I still have family in Scotland, and I'd move there if I could. I'd have myself a lovely little cottage and sheep. And an old cast iron claw foot bathtub.

4. What is the funniest thought that occurred to you (or thing that happened to you) this week?

I'm not feeling the funny much at the moment so until I can think of something I want to go with gross again. When I stepped outside this morning the entire neighborhood reeked of human vomit. I literally almost gagged. It was SO strong that I went out in my PJs and walked the perimeter of my fence to make sure nobody had barfed on my fence. I never could find the source of the smell, and when I went back out an hour later the smell was gone. But it was NASTY.

Editing to add that Ginger has now supplied me with my funniest thing. This is the face she makes when I go to open her mouth to pop a benadryl in there. I KNOW it looks like I'm doing that to her but I'm not. Earlier she started doing it before I even touched her.

Yes, you fans of TurdiTude may thank me now.

5. If you couldn't have your breed of choice what would be next on your list?

Why, a Papillon of course! Actually, probabably about 15 Papillons. I'd be a pap hoarder. I'd be a little old lady with tiny dogs stuffed in my dresser drawers. For reals. If I couldn't have a Pap I might want a really big galoof of a dog. A fluffy one. One that doesn't drool much though, cuz I'm not a big fan of drool. OH! Wait! Maybe I'd have one of those dogs with the dreadlocks. They rock, and you can wear them like a hairpiece like the dude in that commercial does.

And when it's time to bring the sheep in I'll send my Papillon out to get them.

I'm totally holding out for the paps stuffed in my dresser drawers.

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Tell Me Thursday #7

2011-09-01T09:38:00.006-04:00

Yes, indeedy, it is time for another Tell Me Thursday! If you would, please link back to my blog in your post, and don't forget to add the button too (code at the bottom). Come back here to link back to your post. For those interested in being entered in my lanyard/scarf drawing when we hit 20, I won't know who you are if you don't come link up!

Anyway, I can't believe we've hit week #7. Honestly I wasn't even sure we'd make it to week two, but you guys have all been rock stars. I'm running around like a crazy person this week, and I'll try to stop by everyone's blog but may or may not have time to comment. Today's questions:

1. What five things can't you live without?
2. How do you transport your dogs? This question suggested by several peeps, including Mara.
3. What role does obedience play in your training or running of your dog(s)?
4. At what point do you start putting commands on your dogs?
5. Do you talk to strangers in elevators? Question posted by Laura #1

1. What five things can't you live without?

Lip goo
Ankle socks
Internet
Good Coffee. Oh heck, any coffee as long as I get some.
My dogs

2. How do you transport your dogs?

I drive what I refer to as the CrazyMobile. It is a '95 Ford Aerostar with nothing but crates in the back. I drive it like I stole it. It has 240,000 miles on it, and usually it just rattles a little louder when I step on the gas. My friends think I drive Miss Daisy because I'm skeered, but mostly I'm just afraid I might leave my transmission on the highway somewhere if I go any faster. When I bought it (for $300) I threw the seats away and started packing crates in. I am badazz doggie soccer mom rebel without a cause. I haz sliding door without a handle cuz I pulled it off. You guys are in AWE of the CrazyMobile. Blazing speed of power. Rawr. I pwned a guy in a Mustang week before last.

I roxxors the minivan.

3. What role does obedience play in your training or running of your dog(s)?

Seriously? Not all that much. I mean, yeah, I expect them to by and large come when I call, lie down when I tell them to, and I expect them to flank the direction I tell them to go.

But really? For us it's SO much more fluid than that. If I'm dead wrong I also expect them to ignore me and do the right thing. If I lie them down and the situation changes and their intervention is needed I expect them to get up and fix things. But if I lie them down and tell them to stay there I expect them to stay there. You know, unless they need to fix something. I can't tell you how many times I've insisted my dogs do something to find out they were resisting because I was wrong. I guess I could say that obedience is important because when I insist they do what I'm insisting. However, I've also learned to trust at least Nick's judgement sometimes and if he's resisting often I will leave him be. He's usually right.

I'm always baffled at their amazing ability to understand this. The non border collies (Ginger and Zippy) don't get this grey area stuff. Or maybe they're just too ornery to care. But it always amazes me to see that stockdogs seem to just "get it".

Oh, and I totally expect them to do their stupid tricks on command. Most of my dogs know a few stupid tricks. I say few because *I* can only come up with a few before I'm over it.

4. At what point do you start putting commands on your dogs?

Um... maybe about two days before their first trial? I pretty much start using a "lie down" command when we start working, and a that'll do, but I don't actually start putting actual flank commands on for a while (though I may use them somewhat conversationally in the beginning). I eventually get around to it when I realize I'm about to walk to the post at a trial and my ragamuffin dogs don't have flank commands. I think this sort of ties into the natural dog thing. Linc is not as much of a natural dog, so he had flank commands pretty early. Not so much on the lie down. Oh wait, he still doesn't have much of a stop!

I didn't have a solid flank command in sight on Nick at his first trial. It was Novice-Novice, and yea though we sucked through the valley of the shadow of the gates, we won. I also walked a straight line... to the middle of nowhere near the panels. He took every flank command I didn't give him. But I digress.

Early on I like to let the dog work, and learn from the sheep. When everything else falls away I want the overall concept to be "go get the sheep and bring them to me". So we wear, and I'm quiet. Impossible to imagine, I know. Eventually though I *do* get around to putting flank commands on.

5. Do you talk to strangers in elevators?

Hello? Have you guys met me? I think the better question for me would be more like, "Laura Reloaded, when do you ever NOT talk? Have you ever NOT talked to a person anywhere that you've been?" Yes, I talk to people in elevators. I find that their discomfort makes a tiny little giggle blossom up inside of me. I am easily amused.

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Tell Me Thursday #6

2011-08-25T10:00:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the delay today. I had these great intentions that involved getting this up at like 7:30 am, EST. Clearly that's not happening. While I'm thinking of it - if you have questions you want me to ask, or questions you'd like to answer shoot me a quick email (it is enabled on my profile page). See? I'm even giving you all an opportunity to shamelessly promote yourselves. You don't even have to be playing, I'm all ears for anyone who emails.

Ok. Questions for today:

1. How do you teach recalls to your dogs?
2. What is your favorite Restaurant or type of food? Clearly I have food on the brain much of the time.
3. What is your favorite interest outside of dogs/livestock/sports?
4. Describe your path from where you started out to where you are now! (For example, how did you get from Novice to Open? How long did it take? Train dogs? Buy dogs? I'll take answers for any sort of discipline, or even how did you go from wild dog that didn't listen to well behaved dog - interpret this however you like.) This question was suggested by Pippin.
5. Is there a dog that you raised that, if you knew then what you know now, you would have raised them differently? Question posed by Jodi.

1. How do you teach recalls to your dogs?

Uh... well... pretty much I start by calling the big dogs and usually the puppy comes too (as a side note, I have found that this method does NOT work as well for dogs that don't start out with me from the beginning). I've found that for some dogs this is pretty much enough, but others (Linc) not so much. When I start teaching them by themselves I make a big deal over them when they come in difficult situations. With Pia I've actually set out with a treat to specifically teach her what I am asking. I find that usually at some point I wind up having to walk a dog down, and then usually after that they are solid. Gah, I'll never forget Nick at 16 weeks at a Jack Knox clinic up in VA... he ran away from me and I spent 20 minutes walking him down. I'm pretty sure my head was about to explode off of my shoulders.

So I'm trying to circumvent public humiliation by paying closer attention to recalls with Pia.

2. What is your favorite Restaurant or type of food?

Mmmm. Ham's. Bacon Cheese Fries. 'Nuff said. Second to that is probably Outback or Lone Star Steakhouse. But really I love a good Italian or Japanese place too. Oh, or Mexican. Ok, pretty much anywhere is my favorite.

3. What is your favorite interest outside of dogs/livestock/sports?

Zumba! It is my new love. I'm nursing an angry knee at the moment, though, so no Zumba for me in the last two weeks. Boo! This is probably one of the few things I do that is just for me and doesn't involve dogs.

4. Describe your path from where you started out to where you are now! This question was suggested by Pippin.

I got June in 2005. April 2nd, actually. I started taking lessons with her (on stock) and though I took her to two trials we never got past the lift and it occurred to me that I'd need another dog. I bought my right hand man, Nick, as a puppy from Julie Poudrier out of her Twist by Roy Johnson's Sonny in mid-2006. He pretty much hit the ground working, and then I gave him a whirl in Novice/Novice in December of 2007 (or was it Jan 2008??). I ran him in Nursery, and managed to get Nursery leg but then he had a soft tissue injury. Anyway, I moved him up to Open in Sept. of 2009, just past three years old. We've done pretty well for ourselves given how little we've trialed in the last year or so.

How did we get there? Lessons with Robin French, for starters. I also bought a handful of well broke hair sheep from Robin, and kept them out at Julie's (for both of us to work).

The short answer is... it's the dog.

5. Is there a dog that you raised that, if you knew then what you know now, you would have raised them differently? Question posed by Jodi.

There are a few things I would have done differently with Linc (things that I am making sure to do with Pia after learning this lesson with Linc). I found myself typically only correcting him for not coming when called (too much redirection when a correction would have sufficed). I have really struggled with the fact that for a while every time I corrected him on stock he'd leave them and come to me. I don't know that he's EVER actually understood correction on stock, though I've worked hard to teach him (remedially) what corrections mean off of stock.

Another thing I'd do differently is send him to stay with friends overnight at a much younger age. This was hard for him to fathom, and as a result he has been a bit of a punk about it. I probably would also have done more ridiculous trick training with him. Read that more as a "more team building" sort of thing with him. I think he would have benefited.

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Letters to a Small Dog

2011-08-24T16:40:00.009-04:00

Dear Small Dog,

Though we've only been together for six years now, sometimes it feels like a lifetime. At 17.5 years old I often wonder just how much longer you'll be with me. Then somehow you do things to make me think that you might be like a parrot; that you might outlive your human. So if we're going to make it for a while longer yet, we have a few matters to discuss.

First premise: swimming is bad. Do not try it again. Ponds are not your friend. Because of this new obsession of yours I can no longer trust you to not go wading into water and then drown. This is both hysterically funny and frustrating at the same time. I have no desire to have to retrieve you from Robin's pond, so when we go out there next you will find yourself on a leash. This is really too bad because I KNOW how much you love walkabouts there.

Secondly, please stop launching yourself off of the back steps. For that matter, please do not launch yourself off of anything anymore. Last time at Julie's you launched yourself off of her front porch. It was distressing. Don't do it.

Please do your best to not face plant onto the sidewalk. I'd appreciate it if you'd try also to not chin plant into the steps going back up. Maybe it would be best to just not even go near the steps. Besides, you've already declared the doggie door a no-fly zone, so this is really the next logical step.

Since you don't see very well anymore and your body hurts, much of the time I find it necessary to carry you up and down the (two) steps, in order to avoid the above-mentioned face plant scenario. Seeing as to how we don't have much choice in this - at least not until I can build you a tiny little ramp - is it REALLY necessary to growl at me? Every time? Your displeasure has been duly noted. Truly.

Thirdly, please note that jerking your feet and bucking like a bronco when I'm trying to trim your toenails results in blood. Jerking your feet while I'm trying to stop the bleeding only results in the bloodstop stuff smeared all over both of us, and very little of it actually winding up on your toes. While I'm on the subject, please also refrain from howling like a banshee in my ear. Oh, and holster the teeth, OK? I don't know how we did toes for 5.5years with no complaint and now this is where we are. It's just no good.

Lastly, please stop enticing Pia to play. Every time I convince her that she shouldn't pounce on you because you're old, doddery, arthritic and cantankerous you blow it by going over there and play bowing to her. I don't even know how you CAN play bow since everything ELSE seems to hurt. I understand that playing with her makes you feel like a young buck again. I get it! But please... when I've intervened on your behalf be the bigger dog and walk away. Ok?

In return, I promise to take you to the groomer next time your bloomers need a trim. I am truly sorry for the butcher job I did to your tiny little hiney.

Clearly I won't be quitting my day job to become a groomer.

I AM sorry about the bloody toes, so next time I'll do it when you're sleeping (like I did last time).

If you will do these things for me I will give you extra sardines on fish night. I'll also stop offering you up free to a good home to every person I meet. Probably.

Pia and Jade

2011-08-23T09:07:00.007-04:00

I took dogs out to Denise's last weekend, mostly so that Pia and Jade could visit, and so that Denise and I could visit. Denise got some lovely shots of them both - and as always all photos belong to her and please do not use without permission.

Now that THAT is out of the way, the pups are now 16 weeks old. I was a bit dismayed last week as one of Pia's ears had deflated. But they're back up - either tipped:

or completely pricked:

She's teething right now, so I'll be interested to see how they wind up. When I weighed Pia a couple of days ago she clocked in at 15 pounds - though she'd not yet pooped so lets call it 14.5.

Jade has great ears too!

Both pups seem to just, as Denise puts it, have good intentions.

At home right now mostly Pia is just learning to have general manners. She's learning that while Zippy likes to play with her she's too big and too rough for him now. She's learning that yes, she has to come when I call her, and that my socks and flip flops are not for puppies.

She did have her first exposure to sheep this past weekend. She showed some glimmers of interest - and even at one point was going to head them. I could see her checking in and flaring out. Very cool.

It's always interesting to me to see how each new dog reacts to the first exposure to sheep. Linc? He followed me around hopping up and down going "Hi Mom! Hi Mom! Hi Mom!". Nick took off the second his little (or not so little) feet hit the ground, went around, and brought me the sheep. Pia showed some interest and instinct - and almost went around a couple of times, but wasn't completely turned on yet. Very neat. Can't wait to see what she does next time!

I think this is my favorite part - the first few times on sheep. It's all so fresh, free and exciting... yet timeless.

Tell Me Thursday #5

2011-08-18T07:11:00.009-04:00

It's that time again! Time to tell me what I want to know. And hey, don't forget to go give some comment love on each other's blogs.

Today I'd like to know:

1. Who is your newest dog? Where is he/she from, and why did you choose this particular dog/breeding? This question posted by Jodi.
2. What traits drew you to this dog or breeding? (also by Jodi)
3. What's on your feet right now?
4. What are you reading right now?
5. What upcoming trials are you looking forward to? If you don't trial dogs I'll take whatever activity that you're looking forward to.

1. Who is your newest dog? Where is he/she from, and why did you choose this particular dog/breeding? This question posted by Jodi.

My newest dog is Pia (aka Pia Maria Anna Lucia). She is from Denise Wall - she is out of Denise's May, by Lyle Lad's Shep. She is 15.5 weeks old. The more dogs I work/use the more I get a feel for what I do and don't like in a dog. I had decided that I didn't really want another puppy any time soon, but I just couldn't pass this one up. I chose this particular breeding because I think that they will turn out to be the types of dogs I find myself drawn to. Though I don't know Shep personally I've heard tremendous things about him. I sure do like May, and I know Denise and felt like if this wouldn't be a good cross for me she'd let me know. See Tuesday night's post for a few updated Pia pics. :)

2. What traits drew you to this dog or breeding? (also by Jodi)

For starters I loves me a natural dog. I'm still in a place where I need a dog to have a lot of stock sense, and to know what to do. I'm not always fast enough, and it helps me to have a dog that does what needs doing without a ton of input from me. Not only that, but I just plain old flat out don't like to have to tell my dog everything to do. I like a dog that is somewhat easy to train, and nice to handle. Plenty under the hood, but inclined to partner up. These were all important decision makers for me. I also was looking for a dog that didn't need to be worked down. With my limited stock access situation at the moment I don't have room for a dog that needs to be worked down first, and I need a dog that's good in the house. I expect this to all be the case for Pia. So far she's been a very good puppy.

Uh... can I also hope for prick ears and a stylish dog?

3. What's on your feet right now?

Pia thinks they need to be bitten. I don't blame her. I need some more little clog type slippers.

Adding: those were on my feet earlier, now I'm in dress shoes at work.

4. What are you reading right now?

I am reading two books: "The Laughing Corpse" by Laurell Hamilton, and "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver.

"The Laughing Corpse" by Laurell Hamilton is a fiction book about Anita Blake, the vampire slayer. This is the second one in that particular series and I'm enjoying it. Hamilton is very witty, and really engages the imagination right away. There's plenty of dialogue and vivid detail in the books to keep me entertained.

"Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" addresses how to sit at the feet of Jesus (how to rest in Him, and develop a relationship with Him) in a world where we as women are so crazy busy. One of the ladies at work passed it over for me to read. I thought she was trying to "save me" but now that I've started the book I realize that she actually pegged it right on. The book has been exactly what I've needed to get my relationship with God started back on the right track. Not so much doing, but more BEING with Him.

5. What upcoming trials are you looking forward to? If you don't trial dogs I'll take whatever activity that you're looking forward to.

Well... none for me this year. There's the slightest (and I do mean slightest) of possibilities that I might manage to make it for a day or so of Rural Hill, but as of right now I'm pretty much homeward bound (due to finances). However, I AM looking forward to farm-sitting for a friend during an upcoming trial. I loves me some farm sitting.

And not dog or trial related, but I'm also looking forward to getting my Zumba instructor's license. I've got the money scraped together, and I'm just waiting for a class close enough to open up. WooHOO!

Don't forget - on the day that we reach 20 folks linking up I'm going to enter everyone on the list into a drawing for a lanyard. I was going to pick either the first person or the 20th person, but decided a drawing seemed more fun. So there it is!

So here's your code for the button (and by the way, I'm having a new button designed - should be ready here before too long):

If you have questions about how to join in I'll give a description in the comments.

And here's the spot where you link up:

Wordless (almost) Wednesday

2011-08-16T21:35:00.004-04:00

I know, I know. Hard to imagine me wordless. I was trying to get updated Pia pics (she's fifteen weeks) and she was not cooperative. Nick, on the other hand, was feeling quite photogenic today.

Tell Me Thursday #4

2011-08-11T08:37:00.009-04:00

Yay! It's Friday Eve. I'm not entirely sure how I got here this week without imploding or exploding, but I made it. Hope the rest of you did too.

Before I pop the questions, I've got a couple of little things to tell you. On the week that we hit 20 people linking up, I'm going to make and give that person either a beaded lanyard or knitted scarf (their choice, and choice of color). I'm also going to give variations to some of the questions so that people without working dogs can play too.

Ok?

Ginger, you're such a good model. :)

Questions for today:

1. In sheepdog training (or lets call it *any* type of training), how do you keep from taking yourself, your dog, your lack of progress too seriously? posed by Ann
2. How many crates do you have? For reals.
3. How do you keep your dogs in shape?
4. Who is your favorite movie/tv star eye candy at the moment?
5. What is your livestock situation? Have your own? Borrow? Herd the cats? (You can subsitute other equipment for livestock if you don't work stock with your dogs).

1. In sheepdog training (or lets call it *any* type of training), how do you keep from taking yourself, your dog, your lack of progress too seriously? posed by Ann

Uh... well... I can't say that I've figured this out yet really. I've learned to relax just a little, but quite frankly I hold my dogs and myself to a very high standard. I'm dealing with some lack of progress as we have very limited access to stock at the moment. I'm pretty sure I would have Linc in open by now if I got him to sheep more than once every few weeks. But I've accepted that this is my situation for now. And... lets be honest... I can't afford to trial at the moment either, so our lack of progress isn't smacking me in the face. When I was trialing them more often I was frustrated with some things that popped up (like Nick crossing at my feet at Rural Hill grrr).

I'm pretty emotionally invested in how my dogs work sometimes. I've actually had to work hard to become somewhat more circumspect. I've had to learn to work Linc as if I were someone else, and it has made a difference. When I work to separate my dogs and my value from how they're working it helps me to be more objective. I'm not always able to do this, but I'm able to more and more, and they benefit from it. It takes some undue pressure off.

2. How many crates do you have? For reals.

I'm down to 20 now. WOOT! I actually MADE myself throw away a partially broken crate a few weeks ago. I actually went down to the trash and brought it back up twice before I finally convinced myself to leave it. I think this is probably some sort of sign of illness, but whatever. 6 dogs, 20 crates... not an awful ratio if you ask me. Relatively speaking.

Hi. My name is Laura. I have a crate problem.

3. How do you keep your dogs in shape?

Right now? Hah! When I can I take the working dogs out for a trail run, and some swimming. It's been so ridiculously hot this summer that mostly we all just try not to suffocate. I long for the day when I have enough property to be able to get them out and *really* run them.

4. Who is your favorite movie/tv star eye candy at the moment?

Kenny Johnson - plays Ham in Saving Grace. Yum. Yum yum yum.

5. What is your livestock situation? Have your own? Borrow? Herd the cats? (You can subsitute other equipment for livestock if you don't work stock with your dogs).

At one time I kept some sheep out at Julie P's. After my divorce I had to sell them, so since then I've been mostly bumming sheep time off of friends. But I'm a good worker, and try to earn my keep as much as I can. I'll say, though, with friends further away, gas expensive, and no sheep of my own I find myself in regular sheep withdrawal. Farm withdrawal. Friend withdrawal (though I do have other non-farm owning friends). On the other hand, it makes me even more motivated to get my own farm. Not that I wasn't already motivated.

To my friends who share so generously with me, thank you. I always hope they know it, but it doesn't hurt to be told every now and then that you're appreciated. They are.

Don't tell them this, but I'd go out there and help with sheep and chores even if I couldn't ever work my dogs again... even if I didn't have a dog at all. I enjoy the sheep that much. They're even better than horses cuz you can eat them. If you ride them (which I wouldn't recommend) then you don't even have as far to fall.

Kidding. Kidding about riding. Not kidding about how much I appreciate my friends, and not kidding about eating them. Sheep, not friends.

So, link up, and tell me!

Here's your code:

Tell Me Thursday #3

2011-08-04T09:14:00.006-04:00

Time for Tell Me Thursday again! I'm not even sure how Thursday rolled around so fast. But here it is, and here are your questions for Thursday (code for the button is at the bottom this time):

(1) How did you get into border collies (or whatever your dogs of choice are)? What started it all?
(2) How many dogs do you have? All dog math variations accepted.
(3) What do you do for a day job?
(4) What questions would you like to answer (or ask)?
(5) What was for dinner last night?

(1) How did you get into border collies (or whatever your dogs of choice are)? What started it all?

On my honeymoon my ex-husband and I were wandering around downtown in Mt. Airy, NC. We came upon a candle shop that had a sign on the door that said "Free Christmas Puppies". We went in, and ahhhhhd over this tiny little ragamuffin puppy that they said was a blue tick hound mix. When questioned they also admitted that they had an intact male border collie.

We got this little lice infested pup home and wound up realizing quickly that most likely it was the border collie who'd gotten in with the female, and turned to the BC Boards for help. To make a long story short I made friends on the Boards, and then one day was invited out to help Becca with some lambing chores. I was sunk from that moment on. I fell in love that day when her old dog, Ben, went out and brought in the sheep. It was a magical moment for me.

Bree is no longer with me (she went with the ex-hubs when he went) but here's a grown up photo of her taken by Julie Poudrier at our one and only agility trial:

Like our little blue tick hound? Hah. Thank you Bree for sending me down the magical path.

Coincidently, on the same day I first saw Becca's dogs I also met June. She was already promised to someone else, but fate would have it that she eventually came back to me.
I started taking lessons with June, and began to learn more about sheep and stockdogs.

She had a lot of baggage on board, and it wasn't long before I figured out that I was going to need another dog. Thus entered Nick as a puppy, who took us all the way to Open.

(2) How many dogs do you have? All dog math variations accepted.

I have six dogs that actually only equal four. Nick, Linc, and Pia all get one dog slot. June gets a half of a dog slot because she's retired. Ginger and Zippy each get only 1/4 of a dog slot because they're old. And small. See? Four.

(3) What do you do for a day job?

I babysit.

What?

Ok, I'm an Executive Assistant who desperately wants to move on to doing HR. Anything in HR. I don't really even care what.

(4) What questions would you like to answer (or ask)?

Yep. I want to know what you want to know.

(5) What was for dinner last night?

I'm uninspired this week. I had broiled cajun spiced tilapia, whole wheat rotini pasta tossed in olive oil and spices, and stir fried broccoli and mushrooms. Oh, and two dove miniatures. Dark. But I'm nosey and bored, and want to know what YOU had for dinner. So there.

Here's your code for the button:

So, link up! I'd love for you to Tell Me Thursday!

Random Things That Crack Me Up Today

2011-08-03T09:15:00.006-04:00

For today's installment of Random Things that Crack Me Up I present you with... a Noodle Shedding moment:

This was his look when the sheep parted and we were there with a camera. Julie and I get a giggle out of this picture, a lot. Seems like she was on the ground waiting. For some reason I find this hysterical.

The fact that my puppy runs around with my flip flop in her mouth. It's probably really bad that I laugh like a hyena when she does it. I'm guessing that I'm going to spend the rest of her life removing my flip flop from her mouth because I've laughed at her for it. Yes, I'm hard core. No, not really, and I won't apologize for it.

Eyeherdewe. Her zany and sometimes off beat posts make me laugh out loud.

The movie "Life As We Know It". I watched this last night, and laughed pretty hard. Good stuff. It was somewhat predictable, but then when you have a romantic comedy fetish and watch so many of them they almost all become predictable.

That I have multitudes of cell phone pics of Pia that look like this:

and this:

I can't seem to stop taking them; for some reason she can't just jump down, she has to LAUNCH herself off of things.

Books by Laurell Hamilton. I am on #2 of her Anita Blake books, and she totally cracks me up. Thanks to Liz for turning me on to her.

That I had another of my bored late night weekend moments and signed up for e-harmony. Here's the kicker... they keep matching me up with dudes who want to be missionaries and move to Uganda. Or they're pastors. Don't get me wrong, I'm down with some Jesus love. But really? Uganda?

This one dude in his "can't stand" list had "overweight" and "foul mouth". I'm guessing I won't be moving to Uganda with him. Works in progress, baby.

That even as I've signed up for e-harmony I realize that I *still* (just like with match.com, and farmersonly.com) am not all that terribly inclined to date or have a romantic relationship right now. So why do I do this? I don't know, but it's definitely the definition of something, though I can't remember the word. Insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? Yeah, that's me.

I think I'll ban myself from my computer after 9pm. Clearly I can't be trusted.

That I had a hankering for prunes again last night. I loves me some prunes. I need to stop loving them. Forever. Fortunately for me I kept my love down to only two.

The last random thing that cracks me up today... is this picture I ran across of a train wreck with June and Nick:

Have a cracked up kind of day!

Tell Me Thursday #2

2011-07-28T09:04:00.005-04:00

Today I would like to know two things.

#1. What is your most embarrassing trial moment to date?
#2. What do you prefer to whistle with and why?

#1. What is your most embarrassing trial moment to date?

My first embarrassing trial moment would have to be my very first trial with none other than miss Junia Petunia. This was back when Dr. Ben was still running Novice-Novice at his trials. I was SO nervous. I was afraid June would be yahoo! and it would all go very badly. Turns out I wasn't far from right.

She did a lovely outrun and lift, and then proceeded to let the sheep sort of bullet their way to the exhaust. She sort of halfassedly made an attempt to look like she was attempting to cover (get that?) and then moseyed over as only June can mosey to scoop them off of the exhaust.

However, before she could get there one of her ewes (June wasn't even in the same zip code) elected to go jump into the fence. That ewe (it was a dark colored one) managed to get all four feet hung in the fence and was hanging upside down in mid air. Obviously I excused myself to go extract our sheep from the fence. June, on the other hand, was busy bringing the others quite nicely. We never ever did manage to get the sheep to my feet at her big whopping two trials.

At any rate, Open handlers always tell novices that they don't remember these novice wrecks. However, at my first lesson with Robin, she looked at me and said, "Oh yeah, I remember you." I could have died on the spot.

(I'm not sure which part is more horrifying - how scared June looks or how huge my rear end looks in that picture. Just posting this picture might actually be my most embarrassing trial moment.)

#2. What do you prefer to whistle with and why?

I prefer an aluminum A1 whistle. I've tried bunches of different ones - brass mini blasters, stainless steel half moons, stainless steel montana lites, and most of them blow clean out of my mouth. I can use a montana lite when I need to, but I so totally LOVE this A1.

You can get this at http://www.sheepdogshop.co.uk/acatalog/Whistles.html. Love.

I REALLY want to finger whistle, but so far I'm failing miserably at learning. I can get out exactly one note, and it's not very pretty.

So, like last week:
Tere's a little button up top with the Noodle and Ginger with code underneath it. Copy the code. Go to your blog - start a new post. Go into "edit html" and paste the code. Then you can go back into Compose mode.

Make your post. Publish. Copy the link to your post, and come back here.

Down at the bottom in Mr. Linky's Magical Widgets put your name, and then link to your post. Done!

Pia and Jade Reunion

2011-07-22T08:28:00.006-04:00

Last weekend I took Pia over to visit with her littermate, Denise Wall's Jade. Denise got some lovely photos, and I thought I'd share them with you all. They were about 10.5 weeks at the time of the photos - are 11.5 weeks now. Pia is growing SO fast.

Clearly I belong to Pia.

Jade disagrees. A little.

I can eat ur face.

I'm such a sucker for this puppy.

Love. Major love.

She's learning to come when called right now (she was already pretty good at that). She sits on command, and is learning to lie down. She shakes, by the way. I noticed that she was very paw oriented, and all it took was a couple (literally) of "good girl" praises from me and she picked it up. She's connecting the command to it too.

She's also learning to wait to come in the back door until her name is called. Boy was that a tough lesson for her yesterday. That's my version of gate sorting dogs at the door, by the way. They're expected to wait to come through until their name is called - that way I can let in or out only the ones I want (though just as often they go in or out together if the doggie door is open).

Plus she got promoted to the big girl crate today. Why, you ask? Because yesterday she chewed another Pia-mouth sized hole into my drywall. She also managed to pry the plate that covers the motor off of the freezer. All of this she did from inside of the ex-pen. So the ex-pen will only now be for playing when I'm home, and she'll go in a big-girl crate next to June when I'm gone.

So that's the Pia update for today! Happy Friday, everyone.

Photos are courtesy of Denise Wall. Please do not use without permission from her.

Tell Me Thursday

2011-07-21T09:35:00.011-04:00

I thought it might be fun to start up a little link party. So I've been learning a little about buttons and codes, and link widgets. If this goes over I'd like to also start a "Working Wednesday" post - but lets start with one and see how it goes.

Here are the rules:

1. Copy the code under the button at the top of this post.
2. Comment. We all love comments!
3. Go to your blog and make your post. Include the code from my button in your post (you can paste the code that you copied in the "Edit HTML" area). Come back here, add yourself to the links list directing us back to your post (the Mr. Linky widget at the bottom of this post). Voila!

Today's Tell Me Thursday Question:

If you were a sheep what breed would you be, and why? If you don't know much about sheep feel free to choose another animal.

If I were a sheep I'd be a Karakul. They're very interesting sheep - very different, and kind of funny.

photo from www.ansi.okstate.edu

Noodleman working some of Julie P's karakul lambs (and my old hair sheep crosses) back when he was just learning to drive:

They have wild wool, are tall and run funny, have fat tails, and are just a little bit strange in general. They don't really work like other sheep, and they don't really act like other sheep. Did I mention they have fat tails? I have fat tail. They have fat tail. We are alike. See? Fat tails (see if you can pick out the karakul lambs).

I'd also be a Karakul because they have cute curly headed babies. If I was going to have babies I'd want them to be cute and curly headed. I SO wish I could be a cheviot because they're cute, small, and have great ears. Darn.

So, I want to know about you - what would you be? If you haven't posted in a while this will be a good way to start getting back in the groove.

WWTK Wednesday - Joining in on the Fun

2011-07-13T09:17:00.005-04:00

We Want to Know Wednesday is Hosted by Mamarrazi, Impulsive Addict , Janette, and Seriously Shawn, go give them a visit and link up! Here we go:

Here are this week's questions, from Mamarazzi:

{1} Which activities make you lose track of time?
{2} Is there such a thing as perfect?
{3} When do you feel most like yourself?
{4} Describe your life in a 6 word sentence.
{5} Share one of your most beloved childhood memory.

{1} Which activities make you lose track of time?

Uh... that would be pretty much anything you can think of lately. Drinking coffee, blogging, Facebook, and Facebook's games come to mind. Lets add taking pictures of my puppy too. Oh, and just simply trying to get out the door. It seems like lately any time I try to go anywhere I just get sucked into some bizarro bermuda triangle and the next thing I know it's an hour or two later. Used to be I lost track of time playing Ultima Online with the Ex-Husband. Talk about a time suck.

{2} Is there such a thing as perfect?

I don't think there is an absolute perfect, aside from God and Jesus Christ. That being said I think there are situational perfects. Like... I think Nick has been the perfect first dog for me (first dog I've trained from puppy to Open). I'm pretty sure Pia could be the perfect puppy, except that she somehow managed to eat a hole into my wall yesterday through her expen wires. I'm pretty sure there's the perfect mate for me out there. He has sheep and/or cattle, and uses border collies to manage his operation. He's hot and taller than me, too. He would love for me to quit my day job and come farm for a living. What? Some perfects are loosely defined. That's how they manage to be perfect, I think.

Almost perfect puppy:

{3} When do you feel most like yourself?

I'm going to take this in a somewhat different direction and say that I've finally started feeling like myself again just recently. It's more of a when on the continuum thing for me - because typically in my life I'm myself whenever. But the divorce really was a hard hit for me, and then when followed up by losing my job (which was, lets face it, like losing the ex-husband, his family, and my work family right on top of it)... and lets not even talk about my current situation. Yeah, I've not really been myself. But I am more right now than I have been in a while.

{4} Describe your life in a 6 word sentence.

Just another one will not hurt.

{5} Share one of your most beloved childhood memor[ies].

Probably my most beloved childhood memories involve me and my BFF, Vicky, at the beach. It was good times for our family (we were all still together) and Vicky and I had some of the greatest times. My strongest memory is probably of my Dad playing his guitar there. With Vicky there was the digging of the big hole in the sand, the meeting of guys at the deck, the throwing our bathing suits up into the ceiling fans (don't ask)... all sorts of things. She and I have different lives now, but I'll always cherish those memories and she has had (and always will) a very special place in my heart. So will the beach and those memories.

Friday Confessional

2011-07-08T07:56:00.006-04:00

I Confess...

I baked a pan of brownies this week. I ate them all. By myself.

I Confess...

The brownies not only had chocolate chunks in the mix but I added milk chocolate pieces too.

Hey, if you're going to blow it out, blow it out with style.

I Confess...

That I can't confess how long I went without a shower while on staycation. What can I say? The dogs love stinky things. Boy do they love me.

I Confess...

I didn't leave the house for almost five days.

I Confess...

I took seven videos with my cell phone yesterday of the puppy playing with the big dogs.

That's not counting the two from last week of puppy zoomies.

I Confess...

I almost posted them to Facebook but managed to grab a thread of control at the last minute.

I Confess...

I've watched two and a half seasons of "Lost" this week. By the time Staycation is over I'll have probably finished the series.

I Confess...

hooooo boy. Yum.

photo from buddytv.com

Did I mention, YUM?

I Confess...

I'm already dreading going back to work next week. I haven't really ever been able to fully let the dread go this week. But I've come close. Maybe it won't be so bad. My boss will be *crosses fingers* out of town next week. That should make easing back in a little better.

How about you? This is hosted by Mamarazzi. Click on the link at the top to join in!

I Just Can't Help Myself

2011-07-07T09:45:00.005-04:00

I am pathetic and I know it. I'm on stay-cation and all I can do is squeeze my puppy and take endlessly boringly bad pictures. Well, that and watch old-people aerobics on channel 13. For thirty minutes. That's almost as special as watching the genie bra infomercials.

But hey... they don't stay this small for long.

Pia looks pretty tiny next to Nick. She's not really quite THAT small. I just find this sort of comparison amusing. As a side note... notice the Noodleman leeeeeeaaaaning...

In case you were wondering, Linc is not about to take a dump on the porch. I caught him mid sit. He wasn't even part of the photo shoot but he just Wouldn't. Go. Away.

She is SO going to have really great ears.

He likes her - though not in a BFF sort of way. It's more of an, "Oh. Hi. You don't completely suck for a puppy" sort of way. He actually lowered himself to playing with her last night. I was pleasantly surprised. But in the light of day...

He thinks maybe if he yawns really big that she'll go away when he's finished. Nope, not a chance.

But really, do you see how she looks at me?

He's already teaching her to vulture appropriately.

Ginger, on the other hand, is so grateful that I brought her home a new puppy.

Oh wait! That's not Ginger. It's a wookie. This is what the wookie and Princess P do sometimes:

For those of you who don't know, why yes that is indeed cream colored carpet. Don't judge me - I only had Ginger when I bought my house. I'd been living in this tiny little house with knotty pine paneling on the walls and ceilings and hardwood floors. It was like a cave in there, and I wanted something bright and airy. Whatever.

Just to be fair, here is that first photo uncropped for a better size comparison. Ginger is about 24 lbs. Pia clocked in yesterday at about 8 with my very scientific way of measuring it.

Ginger knows all about these photo shoots. I make them do this pretty much every time I get a new puppy. She is clearly not amused.

For reference, lets review the "Troublemakers" photo from long ago. Here is Nick, Ginger, and Zippy from... oh... almost five years ago now. See? Noodleman was once quite tiny:

Whew. Thus endeth public patheticness for today.

Insert the not a photographer disclaimer here.

Pia Maria Anna Lucia Monday

2011-07-05T08:32:00.007-04:00

My apologies to my Facebook peeps who've already seen these, but I wanted to post a couple of my favorite pictures of Pia from yesterday. She's just turned nine weeks old. She's SO sweet, still feisty, and I adore her. She's being such a good puppy - and took her first overnight trip to Robin's like a champ. The big dogs like her, though surprisingly the one who likes to play with her is Zippy. Go figure. The Old Guy is on a roll these days.

Hey! It's another fuzzy running shot! I can't help it though - she's so enthusiastic.

This one is my favorite. I love the way the light worked out. I was fooling around with the camera's manual settings (I have a 4 year old Kodak easyshare Z710... not nearly as exciting as the equipment most blogging folks have) and managed to get this. I started to edit it but preferred the raw image:

They set the fireworks off right up the street from my house last night. Pia laid on the couch next to me fully and happily sacked out propped up against my leg. There's something about her that makes me silly, but then she's my first female border collie puppy (I don't count the BC Mix, Bree, that my ex-husband took with him).

She swam at Robin's this weekend. She was down at the pond messing around, and next thing I knew she was out there just tooling around. Too bad we didn't have a camera ready. When she got out she looked like a chihuahua with her body wet and those ears up like they are right now. She then proceeded to barrel roll her way down the hill to dry off. She makes me laugh all the time.

And no, she's not sleeping on the bed. Yet.

Until next time...

PS - next time may be soon since I'm on staycation this week

PS2 - I just realized it's not Monday. Oh well.

Zippy's Excellent Adventure

2011-07-04T09:13:00.004-04:00

For the holiday weekend I loaded up dogs and went down to cook out, work dogs, and spend the night with Robin, Julie, and Victoria. This was Pia's first road trip, and she did really well. I was pleasantly surprised.

Yesterday afternoon Robin, Julie, Victoria and I all took the bigger dogs down to the pond to hang out for a while. We sat under the trees while the dogs frolicked in the pond. Much fun was had - Ginger waded, and the border collies swam. Zippy inched up towards the pond, and then suddenly (I thought) he fell in!

I ran down there to find him just standing in the water. It was up to about his shoulders. Let me stop here to say that while Zippy has waded into a creek up to his brisket, he has never offered to get into a pond, and he's never gone in past his bread basket. Anyway, he appeared to be just standing there looking around. From the bank we could just see his ears swiveling back and forth.

Assuming he might be in distress, I walked down to the bank, got in his line of sight, and waved him to me. He crawled out, so I sat back down. Not thirty seconds later there he was in the pond again... standing... ears swiveling. The other dogs were splashing around him, and he just stood there.

I sighed, and went down to wave him out again. This time I encouraged him on up the hill... planning to go pick him up and move him away from the pond. That's when the little blighter took off running down the shore line towards the brush. He did an end run around me, and took off around the pond.

I just shrugged and went back to my chair. Fine. If he's that determined to play around who am I to argue with a 17 year old tiny dog?

A minute or two later he made his way back to the pond and quite intentionally went in. He was up to his withers in the water... just standing and looking. I'd say he stood there maybe 10 minutes that way until...

He started swimming. Yes, really. There was Zippy, out there tooling around the pond.

Except...

He could not get his face out of the water. He has some arthritis in his neck, so he was tooling around with his ears sticking out, but his face was under water.

So out into the pond I went. Fully clothed. I could see his little eyeballs, and I could see the air bubbles coming out of his nose. I grabbed him, and the second his little face cleared the water he started shrieking at me. Obviously he hadn't taken in any water. To add insult to my already soaked injury I got bogged down in the mud at the bottom of the pond and was having trouble getting out. My boots got sucked down in there, so I grabbed at the grass along the edge to try to help me get some purchase (all the while having a vocalizing Zippy under my arm).

Julie left the peanut gallery (which incidentally was practically falling on the ground laughing - I would have been) and helped pull ME out of the pond. I had to set Zippy down... and the minute his feet hit the ground the blighter took off running again.

Fortunately for me he got caught in the brush again, and Julie yelled "Quick! Grab him while he's stuck!"

I squished my way over there, snatched him up, and carried him back to the van. He yowled at me the whole way. While I toweled him off he yowled and flopped like a fish, and continued to voice his displeasure.

Clearly he was not finished having fun. But my heart couldn't take any more action, and I was out of clothes. He spent the rest of the day in his crate where he couldn't get into any more trouble.

She's Here! (and no, she doens't have a name, yet)

2011-06-24T09:06:00.007-04:00

In case you were wondering, it's very difficult to take pictures of a puppy who won't go do something else. I have several pictures just like this one. Oh, and one amazingly bad shot of her running to me. wanna see it? Of course you do. 'Cuz it's a puppy, and we already know that I'm no photographer.

That being said, I love a puppy that loves me, and this puppy LOVES me.

See?

How can I not melt when she looks at me like that? Sadly she still doesn't have a name yet. I'm leaning towards "Pia" though. I don't know why. I just like the name, and it seems to suit her.

Ginger totally digs her. Ginger dug all three of the puppies yesterday, and wished she could stay and play with puppies forever. Hey! This puppy is wearing a ginger-tailed hat!

She's met all of the dogs. Though she's a tiny bit apprehensive about them, she's doing just great. They like her. A lot. She's still trying occasionally to nurse. On Nick. He's not impressed.

Gratuitous Zippy picture:

This is our "going home" shot taken by Denise Wall yesterday. Those ears are SO going up. Sure do hope so, anyway.

Ok, ok. One last one.

Friday Confessional

2011-06-17T08:36:00.004-04:00

I Confess...

that I don't normally get involved with memes, but I think this is pretty cool so I'm GOING for it!

I Confess...

that I've stumbled upon a group of really amazing women who blog. They have a somewhat different focus (not dog blogs) and I probably don't fit in, but in my usual socially awkward sort of way I'm choosing to overlook that.

I Confess...

in high school I bought one of my BFFs a holiday tin filled with M&M's (for Christmas). I ate the M&M's before I could give them to her.

I Confess...

I bought more M&M's and filled it back up. I ate them too. I think I finally gave it to her for her birthday. In August.

I Confess...

that I did not wash my boss's fruit this week. Pesticide power, baby! If he shows back up to work with an extra eyeball I'm going to laugh my hiney off while denying all guilt. If this post disappears you'll know why. I'm already plotting next week's small rebellion.

I Confess...

that the most used phrase in my house is "Be QUIET June", followed closely by "Knock it off, Linc", and variations thereof.

I Confess...

sometimes I'm afraid that I've lost my funny. For good.

I Confess...

I eat alone a lot. I probably have awful table manners now and don't even know it. I probably even snort and chew with my mouth open. This is probably one of the many reasons why I'm still single. Oh, but I draw the line at blowing my snoz at the dinner table. Ok, TV tray. I still have SOME couth left.

and lastly I Confess...

my 11 lb Papillon rules the world. This past week he took off with a 1/2 of a chicken wing (don't worry... it was raw and he was supposed to have it). I knew I wasn't going to get it away from him, so I didn't try. Had anyone else told me of this I'd have been all "well, then you GO GET IT!". hah. Good luck with that.

Thank you, to Mamarazzi for hosting this!

Stats

2011-06-15T07:02:00.002-04:00

My apologies to my Facebook friends for my oopsie post yesterday. I was looking around on Blogger and discovered (yes, just) that there is this "Stats" page. It tells you things like which sites refer people the most, and which search terms led to your blog and so on. I found the search list hysterical and was planning to copy and paste the list. Well, when Ctrl-V didn't work I tried Ctrl-P. In case you didn't know, Ctrl-P posts your post, even when it's blank. Oopsie!

So here's the list that has led people to my blog a bunch... aside from the usual suspects like "Crooks and Crazies" there is also:

white duck (probably inspired by the duck posts)
topsy turvy marijuana
tiny little house

and last but not least... wait for it....

marijuana plant two seeds in one pot

Yes. Really.

My guess would be that this post about my tiny little garden is responsible for a lot of that traffic.

Dear Federal peeps who inspect people who grow stuff like marijuana and stuff... I promise I wouldn't even consider it. I don't even know what a marijuana looks like, and I've never even smoked a cigarette. I think the worst thing I've ever done was accidentally stealing one of those size markers off of the racks at Belks when I was five. My mother helped me take them back and I was like... broken for life. Plus... I can't even grow my grass properly. Promise, so please don't haul me off for posting about my little upside down tomatoes. kthnx!

By Request - the Vulcan Toe Grip Story

2011-06-12T07:17:00.000-04:00

I've had a request to pull out the Vulcan Toe Grip story - so here you go!

Several years ago my Grandfather and step-Grandmother were up for a visit. We were all eating dinner in the living room on TV trays at my Mother's house. Grandma Vickie asked if she could feed Ginger from her plate. I politely told her how much I appreciated her kindness, but that Ginger wasn't allowed to have people-food (oh how things change). She insisted, and I re-iterated that NO, Ginger could not have her food, exclaiming "You eat it Grandma Vickie!!". She bobbed her head, and I thought the matter was settled.

I turned around to talk to my brother, and when I looked back Grandma Vickie had put her almost FULL plate ON THE FLOOR underneath her TV tray and was holding it with her gnarled up crusty old toes!! Ginger was face first in this plate of delicacies, certain that she had died and gone to heaven. She was making some serious headway through this pile of ham, mashed potatoes, and lima beans. So, it was Laura to the rescue! I got down on the floor and proceeded to pull the snorting dog out of the plate, and then I got the bright idea that I would try to take the plate and put it back on Grandma Vickie's tray. Hah.

So, there I was, on the floor, under her TV Tray, face to face with the bottom half of her old surly gnarly self in a mu-mu. She had that plate in a Vulcan Toe Grip, and no way was she letting it go.

I'm telling you, this woman must have done toe dumbbell lifts. I never thought I'd find myself playing tug-of-war with an 82 year old woman, but nevertheless there I was on my hands and knees on the floor trying to remove this plate from her World Heavyweight Champion toes. To top it off, Ginger had performed an end run around the quarterback and was again snarfing just as fast as her little mouth could go. Lima beans were rolling across the floor, and Grandma Vickie was screeching at me and trying to thwack me on the head for taking her plate. Screeching, snarfing, and thwacking. The harder I tried to pull the plate away the stronger her Vulcan Toe Grip became. What a scene.

I eventually managed to peel her toes off of the plate, one by one. It was a hollow victory, really. Noisy too. For Ginger it wasn't hollow though. She'd pretty much wiped Grandma Vickie's plate clean for the most part.

You all don't think I would come from a family full of normal people, do you? Of course not.

Needless to say, we had some baked ham/lima beans/ mashed potatoes blow-outs that night. In her defense, though, Grandma Vickie was pretty far along in her Alzheimers at that point. Strangely, after having to deliver the "People's Elbow" and a "Rock Bottom" to a little old lady's toes, suddenly some of the other issues in my life seemed to just fade away a little.

Small Dog Update

2011-06-10T09:27:00.009-04:00

The vet found no blood or notable bacteria in his urinalysis, so concluded that he must have an infection down inside the sheath (there was a bit more green goo in there than expected). She sent him home, day before yesterday, with some antibiotics.

If you have delicate sensibilities or are not a dog person, please take this opportunity to skip to the very last paragraph. I urge you.

As soon as I got home he started that bizarre running and sitting thing that he'd been doing a few weeks ago. When I was finally able to catch him I found that he had an erection, and it wasn't going down. I facebooked. I posted on dog boards. I called all of my friends in a panic. I called the emergency vet.

After reading some articles and talking with friends I decided to put him in a tub full of cool water to see if that might... encourage the turtle back into the shell. I knew that the Viagra commercials mention to see a doctor after four hours... and it had been two, but still I was worried. Tiny dog had a wood for two hours. He's neutered, by the way. At any rate, after the bath and talking with the emergency vet I headed over to him with some vaseline, intending to lube up the works a tad. It was then that I finally found it had retracted. I've never in my life been so happy to see something go down!

I've been a crazy person over this. I am aware of it. I am also glad that my friends are all still speaking to me.

Anyway, when the wood finally subsided he started walking normally. My relief was short lived, though, because not long after that he started walking all hunched up and started flipping his tail weird. The pencil was still in it's holder, but it was still obviously... uh... quite stiff and swolen.

Yesterday morning he was laying near me licking himself, and crying. I went over to take a look and he'd licked himself bloody (on the outside of the sheath). I cleaned him up and hit him with some neosporin, and he finally went back to sleep.

Fast forward through another call to the vet and an elizabethan collar for the Small Dog (which thoroughly enraged him) and when I got home from work last night he was completely normal.

Last night I called Pam and was telling her how at lunch his pecker felt... softer and squishier. I explained that I had squeezed Nick and Linc's pieces parts to reference, as well. I then suggested she should go squeeze Rogue's pieces parts to give me a comparison. She declined. I don't know why.

Yes. Crazy person = me. I've never said the word "penis" so many times in my life as I have in the last three days. I am becoming an expert on dog penises, and penile anatomy. It is like having my own... but not. Also, dogs with ouchy penises apparently run sorta sideways. And they buck like broncos. In case you were wondering.

You may start reading again here, if you ducked out back at the beginning...

This morning he is completely normal. He's had four doses of the antibiotic, and they are clearly working. The package is still wrapped and it feels normal to me. It has become glaringly obvious that it has been swolen lately, in general. He appears to have some external sensitivity, but by and large I think he's quite on the mend. It is very stressful when tiny old dogs get sick.

Impotent and Furious

2011-06-08T10:44:00.003-04:00

First off, my apologies to my Facebook peeps who've already heard this. I need to rant. The top of my head is about to blow clean off.

I got home from work last night, and noticed that the Small Dog (Zippy) had some brownish spots on his back legs. I thought it looked unusual, so got down on the floor to take a closer look under the chassis. What I found was some dried goo on the outside of his pecker - looks like maybe dried blood. Poor wee guy! I loaded up my bathtub with warm water and Epsom salts, and filled it up to about chest level on him. I put him in, and basically soaked it off of there. He didn't seem to mind that part very much, though when I started to rinse him with clean water he started bucking around the tub like a bronco.

He's still my little wild thing, even at 17.

At any rate, he's had a small handful of accidents lately (though nothing major), but I've mostly chalked that up to cognitive dysfunction. He does seem to go out, forget why he's there, then come in and pee on the carpet. Sigh. Then about two weeks ago he had that bizarre running through the house at midnight episode, which again I wrote off to cognitive dysfunction. But this... this is an obvious enough indicator to make me think he needs a urinalysis done.

So this morning I managed to catch a urine sample, and tossed it in the fridge. On my way to drop off the urine I called the vet's office to give them a heads up that I was coming. My regular vet (who rocks, by the way) is out this week. The receptionist told me they wouldn't take a sample without seeing the dog since it's been a while since she's seen him (uh... it was late November/early December). Oh, but they don't have anything today... the earliest they have is tomorrow at 11:30 am.

Now that I KNOW he's having troubles the waiting to help him thing INFURIATES me. Not just a little bit, either. I don't understand why they wouldn't just take the sample, and go on and give me something to help him (if it was a clear course of action), and THEN let me bring him in tomorrow. Maybe I'm being unreasonable. But it's Zippy. He's tiny. He's feisty.

Thinking that one of my dogs is in pain makes me a crazy person.

What I feel at the moment is furious at being impotent. I'm almost tempted to drive home, get my dog, and go drop him off in their laps. I want to call them back up and scream at them. I want to go over there and yell at someone.

I won't do any of that because I am a nice person. However, I plan to satisfy the urge by picturing it over and over in my head all day.

I think the Zip-man will be OK... it's twenty four hours from now. My fury comes partially from the fact that I get the impression that the receptionist thinks I couldn't possibly have a clue. What I'm hoping is that by the time I go over there tomorrow I'll be able to have an intelligent adult conversation with the vet. She doesn't know me from Adam. I'll be nice, but firm. That's the plan anyway.

I have pee in my car, in case you were wondering.

There's Something To This

2011-06-07T07:28:00.001-04:00

I'm not a huge Cesar fan, really, but I also don't think he's the debil. There is a lot of disagreement within the dog community about his methods, but for the purpose of this post I'll say that I think there's something to this whole walking dogs as a pack thing. I've always tried to walk my own dogs as a pack together, but I'm talking about something slightly different in this context.

Take the Noodleman for example.

He's a bit of a troll under the bridge sort of dog. He's a little snarkilicious sometimes, even with his own "pack", though he's not overly serious about that. What he IS serious about is that he's not a big fan of dogs of other breeds. Though he often likes the ladies he just as often doesn't like the males. He has very strong feelings about these things.

Here's where it gets interesting. I've noticed recently that I can take him on a walk with a dog that he has issue with in a home setting, and he'll act completely different in a walk situation. Take this same dog that he wants to harass in the back yard on a long walk, and suddenly they're BFFs. Ok, maybe not BFFs, but certainly copacetic enough.

For example, Sunday we took a walk in the woods with Sandy and her new Golden Retriever, Kobe. Nick met Kobe a month or two ago at my friend Pam's house. The two of them met in the back yard and Nick started immediately skulking around, circling, air snapping, and just generally being a jerk. He got in lots of trouble for it, and eventually wound up being put back in his crate for acting like a punk.

However, out in the woods on the walk? Swimming in the lake? He acted as if Kobe was just part of the pack. He swam with him, ran with him, and didn't ever even give him a hairy eyeball. It was a completely different dynamic.

I really do think that there's just something about walking as a pack that changes the dynamics for some dogs. Maybe not all dogs (I've seen dogs determined to work other dogs on walks like these), but certainly it changes things for the Noodle. What I'll be interested to see is if it changes the dynamics only in that situation, or overall. Based on what I've seen from Nick so far, though, I think it only changes the dynamics for him in that particular circumstance.

Revelation

2011-05-31T07:54:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I went over to a friend's place to work dogs, spend some time, and play with my new puppy. Yep, you heard it, new puppy. Except... she won't be coming home for a few weeks yet. All of the puppies are freaking adorable... and at this point it really doesn't matter so much which one, because I love them all.

At any rate, on to revelations. I was out there working Linc on the whole flock. I'd had this little idea that we'd go out, work for about five easy minutes, switch dogs, repeat, and then be done with the dog working portion of the show. Unfortunately Linc needed something else.

He started blowing off my lie downs. Started getting a little tense. Normally this is where I get frustrated. Ok, mad. Add in PMS and it's not always the prettiest picture ever. But instead of getting mad I started thinking. Why is he refusing to lie down? Is he just being a jerk? Wait a minute! The sheep are getting unsettled. They're starting to run. Why are they starting to run? Because he's cranking in on the backside of his flanks. He's getting tighter in general, but he's also giving them a fair nudge between 10 and 11 o'clock. Duh, Laura.

So I went to my sheep, and quietly started to remind him to stay out on his flanks.

Lo' and behold, he started taking my lie downs again, even from a distance. He started taking appropriate flanks, and the sheep settled back down.

Score one for me for thinking like someone who occasionally actually manages to train her own dogs!

So we went back to the barn to cool off, and the sheep headed up the field to hang in the woods. After cooling down some, we thought it might be a good idea to see how he might do going out to pick them up. We estimated they were about 200 yards out. He's not gone out much further than that, and certainly not to pick up the sheep in the woods.

I sent him, and he pulled up about 50 yards later because he didn't see them. But as he was sort of sweeping he saw them. In subsequent attempts he was DETERMINED to cross over. He was right - the pressure was to the right, but because of the setup of the field and fence there wasn't sufficient room for him to go right without upsetting the sheep.

I finally let him cross over just to get out there, but in the next attempts he STILL was just bound and determined to cross. Nothing was working. He would either go out and forget what he was doing, or try to cross.

OK, FINE, I thought. I walked him up there until we were about, I dunno, 50 yards out, and sent him. Beautiful. Insert huge sigh here.

After another break for cooling down, I went back out to send him again. He went out about 50 yards, and again pulled up like he didn't know where he was going. I recalled him, and sling-shotted him. Darned if he didn't finally just run out. Not only did he run out, but he ran out BEAUTIFULLY, and with authority. Nice fetch, bu the failed to cover half of the flock and they broke off. I sent him back to pick them up, before gathering everyone to put them back in the trees again.

I set him up for one more outrun, and he went. This time not only did he go out right, but he also had learned the time before and actually covered his sheep. This is what I love about this part of the process - seeing them learn from the sheep. Anyway, not only was it a million degrees outside, but it seemed the perfect point to just... stop.

This is one of the holes I was afraid he'd have - not looking for sheep further out, not looking for sheep in different fields and so on. I'm not even sure this was the right method, basically just sending his royal fluffiness out there until he did it right. We were sort of laughing about it, but it was obvious he had a huge AHA! moment, and it was really, really exciting to see. It worked. Way back in another life I was once told, "Sometimes you have to find out who is more stubborn - you, or the horse" and I think this was one of those times.

Horrific Pit Bull Attacks? Seriously?

2011-05-20T15:22:00.006-04:00

This morning I was on my way to work and was halfway listening to the morning show on the radio. My attention was caught when I heard them mention something about Horrific Pit Bull Attacks, or something along those lines. I don't remember the exact adjective they used, but that's the gist of it.

At any rate, they called one of their morning personalities who happens to be at the beach, as she had apparently had a horrific pit bull attack. As an aside, from what I could gather this is a somewhat regular segment on their show. Anyway, we'll call this girl Betty for the sake of the story.

So she starts to recount her story. She was at the beach, and out in the front yard with her dog, and her father's dog. She had them both off leash, and was getting ready to leash them to take them for a walk. As she was preparing to leash them a lady walked past with her dogs... her dogs that were all on leashes. In case you missed it... the other lady was going for a walk with her dogs... on leash. I believe they said she had four dogs with, though not all of them were Pit Bulls.

Anyway, one of the two dogs that Betty had with her decided to....

Wait for it...

Go say hi.

Yes. Her off leash dog went over to "say hi", and one of the leashed dogs took exception to the lab-ish dog saying hi. The dog on leash apparently broke the collar and took her dog to the ground. I'm wondering how long this was going on for a dog to break a collar like this? That's not to say that collars don't sometimes break when they're pulled just right, but still.

To make a long story short, apparently the other dog she had also decided to "go say hi" and apparently there were leashes and collars broken, and Betty's dogs were hurt. She talked about how the other woman was screaming and trying to break it up, but from what I can gather it didn't sound like she did anything to help the situation. Two of the leashed dogs stayed out of it, by the way.

I had to get out of the car and go into the office, so I didn't hear the rest of the story. I don't know to what degree Betty's dogs were hurt, and I am terribly sorry for their pain. I do not say any of this to negate her very real distress. I'm terribly sorry that she and the dogs went through what they did.

However, it just makes me CRUNCHY in the extreme that we're going to talk about Pit Bulls attacking when it was her own stupid dogs and her own stupid fault that her dogs went over there to begin with. Those pit bulls didn't attack - her dogs ran over there when they shouldn't have. Period. It's stories like this that give bully breeds press that they don't need. It makes me more than just a little crazy.

People. Don't let your dogs "go say hi". I don't have pit bulls, but I can tell you that had these two lab-ish dogs come up to my dogs, while leashed, to "say hi" chances are high that one, or possibly two of my dogs would have taken exception to it.

It's just like any other thing... stack your deck to try to set the tone for the best outcome possible. Don't let your dogs just "go say hi" to dogs you don't know.
And while we're at it, don't call this type of thing a horrific pit bull attack. Call it a stupid owner attack.

Happy Administrative Professionals Day!

2011-04-27T12:42:00.002-04:00

Happy Admins day to all of the under appreciated Administrative Assistants out there! This is the (quite adorable) bouquet that my Executive team sent me today. I love daisies! They're like... little bundles of happiness exploding in a vase.

For my very own personal gift for Admin's day my boss has instructed me to go get his car washed.

It is going to rain.

Yeah, really.

After a while I convinced him that it might make sense to wait until Friday when it's finished raining. He explained that if it wasn't supposed to rain until later in the day to get it washed anyway.

Hunh?

I 'splained that there was a 95% chance of rain after 2pm.

He snarked at me. Not that that is any different than any other day.

I think maybe I'll pee in his tea. No, not really. But it sure is tempting. That would definitely be a Happy Admins day to me!

Pet Peeve of the Day

2011-04-13T12:59:00.003-04:00

Pet Peeve of the day:

Women who pee on the toilet seat and leave it there.

That is all.

Actually, that's not all. If you're of gentle disposition you may want to just stop reading now. Don't want to offend sensibilities.

At any rate, I'm not sure if it jeebes me out more when they leave it or when they've peed on it and wiped it away and then I don't know it. Either way I'm way too old and uncoordinated to hover at work a million times a day. Understand that hovering in public places is still mandatory, but I justify that if we all work together every day we're sharing enough anyway to make us almost family. Now granted I could go the triple-thick-ass-gasket route, but I don't always have that much time when I'm scrambling with all of the stoopid buttons on my britches.

There's not that many women here at my office, and I'm sorry but when you drink a bazillion bottles of water a day you have to go pee. A lot. So sorry, but I gotta sit. I think with the vertigo thing these days popping up on occasion hovering is a bad idea. The only idea that appeals less than sitting in pee is falling over with my knickers around my ankles. Bad. Very bad.

Of course most of the time I just wipe the seat before sitting for good measure. However, sometimes the matter is more urgent. Sometimes I miss a spot. Either way... you hussies are peeving me. Cut it out.

These days I'm not nearly as concerned about the cootie factor. I just don't want to have to wipe pee off of my behind. So please. Wipe it up. kthnx.

PS - I've narrowed it down and I think I know who you are.

Nick and Linc's Excellent Adventure - part 6 (the final installment)

2011-04-08T12:43:00.006-04:00

... that a lamb was out. She was a teenie tiny little thing, and she was on the outside of the fence in the brambles... screaming her head off. She is the one that Julie and I refer to as the "princess pea lookalike" as she looks like Princess Pea from last year's lamb crop.

It turned out that my good lamb dog (Linc) was in the van sitting this last walk out as he was a hair tender footed, and had worked his fluffy little bustle butt off anyway. I had Nick, Ginger, and June with me. I thought, "No problem! I have my open dog, I'll just send Nick into the woods to get her." There was NO way I was bringing the flock out and risking losing either the guard dog (again) or the sheep (again). I thought, "How much trouble could one little lamb POSSIBLY be?"

Turns out... a lot.

I sent Nick into the woods and he immediately flanked all the way back around BEHIND the sheep pen... and the look on his face was "I DON'T SEE ANYTHING OUT HERE WOMAN!!!!" I kept calling him in and calling him in, and even when I'd get him right on top of the lamb it was obvious that he wasn't seeing her as something to be worked directly.

**insert gigantic sigh here**

So who went into the woods to catch the lamb I ask you? Me. I tromped in there, and started working the lamb up the fence line myself thinking I'd slowly drive her around and then slip her into the gate. Or better yet, call my dog in at the end of the fence and have him walk straight in and push her to me. Tried that, sucked bad. Firstly Nick was still doing his "I don't see anything" routine, and secondly I was somehow stuck in the briars and couldn't get out.

Many scratches later I was out, Nick was still flanking wildly around the pen, and the lamb was now running on the open area side of the pen... still screaming her head off.

I blocked one end of the fence line, and kept trying to flank Nick around... to no avail. I began to think that I might just have to pull the flock out after all, when to my amazement something really darned special happened.

June brought me the lamb. When I realized she was was taking my flanks and stops, and was going to bring it I got quiet. I watched as she just... did what I needed her to do. I caught the lamb, put her back in the pen, and took the dogs for a walk.

In case you missed it... June brought me the lamb!! On purpose!

It was a moment that made me want to weep. I still might.

I could tell you guys a rooster story, but I don't want it to get lost in my weepy moment.

So though there were some frustrating and terrifying moments, there were also some feel-good moments too. I know Nick and Linc particularly had a grand time, thus the title "Nick and Linc's Excellent Adventure".

The End.

Nick and Linc's Excellent Adventure - part 5 (sheep... and dogs)

2011-04-08T08:43:00.006-04:00

Sunday afternoon I relented, and decided to go ahead and let the sheep out to graze again. I decided it would make good sense to use both dogs - Nick and Linc - and lie Nick down over where he could hold the pressure for the driveway and the garden (for the most part) and then I would pull the sheep out with Linc. The long and the short of it is that every time I would send Linc in the pen Nick would start flanking. So I would boom out "LIE DOWN" at Nick. Nick would keep going, but poor Linc would come running cowering at my feet. Brilliant plan, eh?

After pulling Linc out, and taking Nick by the collar back to where I'd originally laid him down like... fifty times... I finally managed to sort of get them to do what I wanted. Nick had crept a bit, but was still in a position to hold the pressure (mostly). We got the sheep out, and though they started creeping towards the garden I was in position, as were the dogs, to head them off. So the dogs and I settled down near the back porch (we were fanned out) to guard against insurgents.

As we sat quietly, the Ram was mounting his attack. There he was trying to lead his fan club on an end run around the quarterback. Oh yes. They were trying to sneakies through the woods to go to the angry neighbor lady's house. But this time I was ready. I sent Nick over there to stop them. I think they actually had looks of disgust on their faces. It was a major sheep FAIL moment. I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to flank Nick come bye and have Linc stay where he was, and then was able to flank Linc away to cover a small group of ewes and lambs trying to make a break for it up the driveway. Good dogs.

Then as I was putting the sheep back away, I turned my back on Maia for a milisecond(guard dog, remember her?) and she dashed out the gate screaming JAILBREAK!!!!

My heart hit the floor. Maia was, for all intents and purposes, basically feral for a while, and it took them months to catch her (this is life before-Julie). This was bad. Really bad. I thought, "Great. First I let the sheep go to the angry neighbor's yard, and now I have lost Julie's guard dog. This is fabulous. I am SO fired. I'm probably fired from BFF status too. What am I going to do?"

I had options. #1 - Voice of doom at Maia. #2 - use my dogs to take the sheep over to her, and then hope she comes back with them. #3 - talk nicely to Maia and hope she comes back. #4 - Go get dog food and try to lure her back.

I went with #3 and #4.

I put the sheep, Nick, and Linc away (separately, obviously) and went to the house to get Maia's dinner, all the while talking nicey nice to her, and keeping an eye out as I went.

The door-knob fell off. I knew it did sometimes, but it hadn't failed me until this moment. I felt like picking it up and throwing it out into the yard, but I didn't. I put it back on (ok, more like crammed it on), and stomped through the house muttering about animals who don't do what they're supposed to do. I filled up a bowl with kibble, and ran back out the front door.

I went around the side and finally spotted Maia wandering in the woods. I walked parallel to her rattling the bowl of kibble, and talking all nicey-nice-I'm-not-going-to-kill-you to her. My heart just kept sinking as she kept wandering. She took lots of dumps. I didn't know a dog could poo that much. She peed lots too. I'm guessing she was marking her territory. Sounds reasonable to me. If I had made a jailbreak I'd be all about some marking some things too! Then suddenly, her head came up, and she came running.

I turned and ran, laughing like a lunatic, and flung the gate open, all while rattling the bowl and calling her nicely. I almost lost the sheep out the gate, but Maia was cranking through it, and they turned.

Whew. Crisis averted. I went back inside and played Cityville until my hands stopped shaking. At this point I thought to myself, "Maybe I shouldn't tell anyone about ANY of this. Ever."

A little while later I would decide to take the dogs on one last walk to the river. Unfortunately, I would find...

Nick and Linc's Excellent Adventure - part 4 (a dog installment)

2011-04-07T09:13:00.008-04:00

(photo by Dan King)

Ok, funny time is over. I didn't want to risk boring anyone (hah, if I've not already lost everyone) to tears by scary-to-me chicken stories ad nauseum. So I thought I'd do an update on some of the really amazing work my dogs did this past weekend.

Nick actually didn't get a whole lot of work as I thought this would be a good chance to give Linc as much practical work as possible. Linc was my go-to dog for everything, with the minor exception of rounding up the renegade sheep in part 2. However, on Saturday Lauren and I met over at Robin's to work dogs, and she held out for me some. I have been working with Nick on the concept of "you can go around objects like ponds and such on your outruns". It took a bit of reminding, but I had him going around Robin's pond nicely. I was quite proud. I also worked on reinforcing him taking his whistles a little further out. He's been stonewalling me (all, "I can't hear you!!!" and though we have learned at a BAER test that he doesn't hear normally in one of his ears, at this distance I KNOW he can hear me). It was good!

Nick also got lessons on... not being #1 all the time. It was a lesson for me too. It is SO hard to do that... leave my best dog up while I slog through chores that take longer because I'm teaching a young dog to do them.

(photo by Robin French)

Linc... was a superstar this past weekend. We worked on cross-driving (Robin's hill is great for that) and I had a MAJOR epiphany on Sunday. Here it is: He's danged fast. I thought I was having trouble on the cross drive because he was overflanking. Nope. Turns out I've been under-stopping. Or over-stopping. Whatever. My timing has SUCKED, and I wasn't stopping him soon enough. He was overflanking, and it was my fault. As a result things kept getting squirrelly, and then he would barrel in there because we're both frustrated with each other.

Duh Laura.

I gave him the whole flock up on the hill, and stood there READY to do my part. It was amazing. We freaking cross-drove. As I had previously reminded him to stay out, and was stopping him sooner on his walk ups (creating more distance between him and the sheep), stopping him correctly on his flanks, AND because he was keeping nice pace and not cranking on his sheep... it was lovely.

We also did some shedding work with the whole group, some flanking between groups, and some catching sheep when they're trying to get back together type stuff. Boy did he LOVE that. In the past I've not been able to do these kinds of things with him much 'cuz all he'd want to do was bite stuff when he'd come through. But wow. He had a cool head, and was trying really hard.

Dink-man managed to do Open length outruns, blind outruns (though he was a tad uncertain on this, but he did it!) and for the first time lifted carefully and thoughtfully. He was just working thoughtfully in general, which was a huge epiphany for him I think! He worked at a distance navigating sheep around the pond, and I was putting a LOT of pressure on him there and he not only took it but seemed SO proud of himself. I was proud of him too.

He worked *with* me all weekend - putting ewes and lambs in and out of the pen at Julie's, helping to get up the lambs that got stalled out... and helped tend as we let them graze (Sunday was a much better deal) and he did a fabulous job teaming up with Nick to hold sheep off of the feed bunks twice a day.

My little silly black dog is growing up, and all three of us were happy.

Nick and Linc's Excellent Adventure - part 3 (a chicken installment)

2011-04-06T10:37:00.002-04:00

Did you know that in order to collect eggs from the chicken coop one must actually physically go into the chicken coop?

Saturday afternoon I found myself in the chicken coop with what seemed to be a million chickens milling around my feet. It had taken me all afternoon to work my nerve up to go back in there (after the morning chicken/back belly flop episode) but I was determined to collect eggs. Spoils of war, baby! Nevermind that I had about four or five false starts where I'd almost go in there and then turn around and walk away (quickly, of course).

I finally went in, and thought to myself, "I know! I'll give them more food so they'll stay away from me!" While this did work to keep the ones that were in the coop already away from me, it also worked to bring all of their little friends flapping and squawking in through the door to get in on the action. I hadn't really counted on that. I also hadn't counted on the fact that Nick was out there and he was doing his part to bring me chickens.

I tried to explain to Nick that it wasn't really necessary to bring me more chickens, but mostly I was only able to stand in place (uh... frozen in fear?) and squeal... and scream out "No flapping! NO flapping!!", though I don't think the chickens were listening. I didn't even have the breath to bring out a voice of doom "LIE DOWN"... I mostly just concentrated on not having a coronary. It occurred to me that if I actually died in there the chickens probably would eat my body. Can't have that.

That ba&%ard dog of mine just kept bringing chickens. Those ba$&ard chickens just kept flapping. I realized I was cornered, and to try to walk through the see of bodies would mean more ruckus. So I did the only thing a girl could do... I started collecting eggs. In my shirt. 'Cuz I'd forgotten the egg basket.

I had this strange - and admittedly unreasonable - fear that a chicken would somehow peck my belly. I know, it makes no sense, but I couldn't help it. I kept my shirt sort of over my tum while still holding eggs... but not crushing them. I'm special like that. I sang a little song in my head about collecting eggs, only occasionally punctuated by a squeal when a chicken would flap.

I got to the last nest box and there was a chicken in it. No way was I putting my hand in there. Ever. She even looked pissed off. Like she was some sort of... devil chicken. No, not really, but give me some credit... I'd been wading in a sea of chickens and hadn't run yet (or wet my pants).

I walked slowly, quietly out of the coop, with my spoils of war quietly nestled in my shirt. I took them in the house and carefully put them in egg cartons. I then danced up and down while screaming "EW EW EW" and spinning in tiny circles. Then it occurred to me that I would have to do this again the next day.

I figured I would need a new plan if I was going to avoid death and having my body pecked over.

Nick and Linc's Excellent Adventure (part 2 - a sheep installment)

2011-04-05T08:30:00.003-04:00

There aren't a whole lot of seriously major rules in farm-sitting. However, one of them would be "don't let the sheep run away". You know, don't let em in the road to get killed, that sort of thing. One of the things Julie said to me, before she left, was "Don't let the sheep go to the neighbor's house." Apparently this neighbor doesn't like sheep in her yard. Why ever not? I cannot even fathom. At any rate, to give you guys a mental image, this is the general area:

After the "great chicken adventure of certain Laura death" I went over to Robin's and worked Nick and Linc. I got back to Julie's, and as she'd requested that the sheep be let out of their pen to graze if I felt like it, I decided to let them out. I was basically just to not let the sheep run away, and not let them go to the neighbor's house. Easy peasy. I'm the farm-sitting queen. I'm on it. Whatever.

I put Nick away, and took Linc over to scoop them out of the pen (the blue box, with a sheep next to it in the picture above). I was also charged with not letting Maia out of the pen... as SHE would run away. Maia is the Guard Dog, whom I could not catch to tie up, by the way. At any rate, Linc brought the sheep out just as pretty as you please. I learned something very exciting in this... Linc works lambs.

Unfortunately I had one lone lamb that didn't make it out the gate with the rest of the flock. The flock was running around the yard all willy nilly, screaming JAILBREAK!!!!!!!!! The lamb was running around the paddock all willy nilly screaming, MOOOOOOMMMM! I was in the pen with Linc with my back turned to the flock trying to let the lamb out but keep the guard dog in (a delicate balance to be sure). I thought maybe we could just... pop it out. Yeah right.

I just happened to turn around to see that the troublemakers were in the little garden. Julie had warned me that they like to graze the garden, which is but a few steps away from the angry neighbor lady's house. Bad. Grazing the garden is bad. Garden leads to angry neighbor lady, so no garden grazing. So I pulled Linc out of the pen, shut the gate (oblivious to the lamb screams in this moment) and sent Linc over to bring back the troublemakers.

He brought them back (good dog), and I finally got a little smarter and had him bring some of the flock up to the gate. I then sent him back into the pen to lay quietly, and he and I made it so that the best choice for the lamb was just to go out the gate and hang with his friends. Good lamb. Good for my ears too. I almost lost Maia out the gate, but I managed to push her back and shut the gate at the last second. Whew.

Sheep were out to graze, Maia was in the pen, and Linc and I could go chill and watch. So the first picture I took up top was when Linc and I were peacefully watching the sheep graze from the back porch. The wind was blowing, the sun was shining, and we were both in our happy Zen place until.... until I realized I was short some sheep. I had been sitting there for probably 10 minutes or so, and I didn't actually know how many sheep I had for sure, but it didn't look like enough.

I figured I'd best go count, go look, whatever. I counted eleven. I felt sure I had more than eleven adults (and a ton of lambs). As I started to walk around the house towards the front I ran almost headlong into a woman... a neighbor from across the street. She'd come over to tell me that there were sheep out... and they were near the angry neighbor's yard and headed for the road. In a panic (and more than a little bit PO'd) I turned and hauled buggy back to the van.

I put Linc away in a rush and grabbed Nick out (I wasn't really feeling like risking a training moment). The neighbor lady (very nice, very pretty, but she startled me and I almost had to go change my drawers again) was following along yammering something about coming to watch as she'd never seen this before. I was on a mission, though, and couldn't tell you what she actually said. She seemed nice.

As far as I was concerned both the sheep and I were in BIG trouble. I was playing the Imperial Death March in my head. Yes, really. I was going to get those naughty sheep. They were going to come home, and they would LIKE IT.

I came around the corner, and sure as shootin' they were in the neighbor's yard - or close to it. They were on the other side of the gardenish thing on the edge there, just skirting the trees. They didn't appear to be really headed for the road... they appeared to be more like kids in a candy store. They were running amok, and it was my fault. The ram was the ring leader, and I KNEW he'd been in the garden crashers group, just as I knew I'd brought him back. So somehow or another he'd made an end run around the quarterback, and had ended up over there. He'd taken friends to the party.

I was irate.

I sent Nick out there, and didn't say a word when he gripped one of the ewes who turned to look at him, and then proceeded to bring them just a bit faster than necessary.

After the nice neighbor lady left, I turned to the sheep, and said, "That's IT! Grazing privileges are LOST."

All I could keep thinking was how the ONLY directive about the sheep Julie gave me was don't let them go to the angry neighbor's yard. And what did I do? I let them go to the angry neighbor's yard. They probably pooped in it. A lot. Yeah, making friends here. Not only that but I was terrified that maybe I hadn't gotten them all back. Turns out I did (get them all back) but it was worrisome.

The next day I would think long and hard about whether or not I'd even let them out again. They don't do what they're told, and they don't stay where they're supposed to stay, even when I'm right there! Sheep that don't do what they're told get grounded. I would relent, eventually, and then I would find out on Sunday the level of sneakiness involved. Oh yeah. Very sneaky sheep. But I fear they underestimated MY sneakiness.

Nick and Linc's Excellent Adventure (part 1 - a chicken installment)

2011-04-04T09:08:00.006-04:00

This past weekend I loaded up all of the dogs and headed out to farm-sit for Julie while she was setting sheep at a dog trial. We had so many adventures that I'm intending to break this down in parts. My apologies in advance as I don't have pictures (maybe one) to illustrate, so words will just have to do.

I know this is the part you've all been waiting for, so I'm making part 1 the first of my chicken installments.

Friday night when I got there I closed the chicken coop with no issues. Saturday morning my first job was to open the chicken coop. Most who know me (at least in a farming context anyhow) pretty much know that I'm a little afraid of chickens - quite specifically the squawking and flapping. Ok, terrified. Phobic. Freaked out. Skeered. Pall of death. You get the idea.

If they'd just sit there quietly and not move or squawk I'd probably be able to touch them. Maybe.

But I digress. Julie had warned me that they'd come flapping and squawking out, so I was armed with a plan. I took a bucket of corn (she'd told me this was part of the routine) and sprinkled it NOT in front of the coop, but slightly up the hill... in the opposite direction of where I was going to stand. I steeled myself while standing behind the door (down the hill) as I slid open the latch. I took a deep breath, grabbed the rope handle, and pulled.

Chickens everywhere. But that's OK. I was ready for them, and they were flying AWAY from me. I patted myself on the back for my ingenuity and resolve in such a potentially harrowing situation. Surely I had escaped certain death. Or at least certain scream.

I waited... and waited... and I when no more poured out I went to remove the baby gate that was wedged in the doorway (an additional measure to keep dogs out during the day) so that I could put out feed and change the water (uh... the feed and water bucket were in the coop, with an additional water pan outside). As I leaned over to unlatch the freakin frackin stuck baby gate the last chicken on earth squawked, and flew over me - hitting my back and thumping me with her wings on her way out. She was big, loud, and literally I think she belly-flopped across my back.

I screamed, danced in place for a second, and then fell back on an old favorite... I ran like a little girl. I almost fell over a stump, and I think I wet my pants a little. This was definitely NOT one of my finer moments.

In fact, I'm pretty sure I actually died for a few seconds.

I eventually worked up my nerve to walk back over there, and peered cautiously inside (one eyeball at a time). I completed my mission - fed and watered, and then got the heck out of Dodge.

THAT was my early morning wake up call. I looked over at the sheep and said, "You girls will have to wait. I need a drink." I stomped back in the house, made coffee, and played "Cityville" on Facebook while waiting for my heart to stop racing and for my hands to stop shaking. Good morning to me!

Weekend Dog Working and Vertigo

2011-03-10T09:11:00.003-05:00

Weekend Dog Working

Last weekend I went out to Robin's to hang and work dogs (and to do some trial prep, but I was off helping Julie unload Ewes with newborn lambs that she'd taken back to her place and I missed the work part). I took everyone with and Zippy was quite the wildman - having zoomies all over the place. He almost face planted into the fence a few times... he just doesn't see all that well these days. He tickles me.

Anyway, I worked both Nick and Linc. Linc managed to actually do the Open outrun, and had his good boy listening ears on. He was working really nicely - we worked on his cross driving skills a bit, and I was pleased to find myself in my happy zen place working him. Even better was with the pressure I was putting on him he only had one little minor blow up. All in all it was very good!

Nicky learned a big lesson too. He learned that he COULD GO AROUND the pond off to the right to do an appropriate outrun to the away side. Then we switched ends of the field and he learned that he COULD GO AROUND the pond to do an appropriate outrun to the come bye side. I put quite a bit of pressure on him and he took it well - and figured out what I wanted of him. He kept wanting to eek around to the inside of the pond (and I'm sure he would have kicked out on the other side) but then once he figured it out he actually ran a bit wider and landed a bit deeper than he has been lately - which was precisely where he should have been.

It was a good weekend with friends - Pam came along and worked Rogue (little Linc) and Rachel and her daughter Gwynneth came up for the day. It was good to see them!

Vertigo

Last night, in my attempt to lose weight, I was doing some crunches. Just to tell how long it's been since I've done crunches I don't think I've done them since Linc was a baby puppy. Anyway, so I'm crunching away, and he's lying on the floor next to me... and he's licking my elbow as it goes past his face. Ew. I hate elbow lickies. Bleurgh. So finally I stopped, rolled my head to the left, and told him to knock it off.

Wrong move. It set off my vertigo.

I finished up my crunches (yeah, I am that tough) and I went to the kitchen to start dinner. The room spun. I almost barfed in the kitchen sink. Yes really. Not that I let a silly little thing like the room spinning wildly and crazy bad nausea stop me... I took my Meclizine and ate dinner anyway.

This morning, I got up, and the room is still all wobbly on me.

Crunches are banned.

That is all.

Shoofly Farm Sheepdog Trial - March

2011-02-15T12:18:00.002-05:00

Come join us for the Shoofly Farm Sheepdog Trial, on March 19-20. The trial is near Oxford, NC. Entries are now open, and spots are going fast. For entry forms please click here. It's going to be a lot of fun. To see the Shoofly Farm blog, go here. Hope to see you there! If you come I'll let you see Ginger's ears unfurl in person. See? Great trial, Ginger's ears, what more motivation could you POSSIBLY need?

Irish Potato

2011-02-05T12:13:00.003-05:00

The other night I was weighing myself when the Small Dog wandered into the bathroom. I thought, "Hey! I should weigh him too!" So I picked him up, blah blah blah. I'm not really sure exactly how it happened, but I suspect that the vertigo I've been dealing with this week had something to do with it. As I started to put him down he started paddling at about 1-1/2 feet off of the ground. I dropped him right on his Irish Potato (my Papaw pronounced it more like "arsh tater". We've discussed this paddling thing many times, and he still doesn't seem to understand that doing that might get him dropped. Well, it finally did.

He made a noise like, "YEERRRRK!" and then got up all puffed up. He was going to Kick. My. Behind. 11.4 pound Zippy was going to throw down on me. Never mind the fact that he came up three legged lame - hopping around holding a front leg up in the air - he was going to put the Smackdown on me. He meant business, and he was one pissed off fluffy dog. I should have run for my life. Instead, I laughed.

Is it wrong that I laughed? I think maybe the whole three-legged-lame thing makes it pretty wrong. Is it wrong that I fussed at him for being an idiot and making me drop him? I have to wonder if there's a REASON why I have no children, and that is because I'd drop them on their heads and then laugh?

Had it been one of the border collies they would have slunk off determined I was orchestrating some insidious plot to kill them. I would be untrusted for at least a few hours, maybe more just in case. Not Zippy though, he gets up all plucky. He doesn't get scared. He gets mad.

After a few minutes he was again walking normally. However, I really do think that maybe he could have seriously beat me up. He definitely believed it.

Big Linc, Little Linc, and Nick

2011-01-31T16:55:00.006-05:00

Yesterday I got the royal trail tour from Pam. I have lived here most of my life, and I am just now learning of these places? The dogs cannot believe I could possibly not know this. There are trails here. There are lakes. There are trails and lakes. There are trails that lead to lakes. Lakes = swimming. Does it matter that the water is like 10 degrees F? Apparently not. There were miles upon miles and miles of wooded awesome rocking trails, and tons of water access. I had the greatest time, and so did they.

Witness Big Linc, Little Linc, and Nick. Swimming. In North Carolina. In January:

OK, so it is a cell phone picture, and it's awful. Up front is Linc, in the middle is Nick, and see waaaaay back there, that other black Linc-looking thing? That's Rogue. He's an Aussie. His registered name should have been "Auntie Laura's Puppy". He's not a Border Collie and I really don't care. He's pretty darned cute on sheep (has a good bit of go-around in him, and that cute little fluffy wiggly black butt just kills me). He wants to come live with his Auntie Laura. He's like a little sweeter Linc that listens. Want. Unfortunately, so far Pam refuses to cough up the puppy. I even tried to make an even trade, and no go.

For the sake of keeping it real, though, here is a true confession. I took this picture here...

'cuz I thought it was Linc.

Dogs Update

2011-01-30T09:55:00.007-05:00

I think I'm very much overdue on the dog updates. There have been some recent changes here. I finally came to the very difficult decision to send Moon back to Robin. The biggest reason for this is that she just needs more than the casual sort of work I can give her. Now that Julie has moved away I certainly won't be able to work my dogs at much, at least not until I can change my circumstances. So I've cried a lot of tears, and feel like I've done the right thing.

Linc... Linc is growing up. He's in a place now where he's still a bit rash, and a tiny bit silly, but finally at least on the trial field willing to listen. I've been working on opening his flanks back up some, letting him be a bit more natural (now that he's less of a bonehead) and reinforcing his stop. Well... more like sort of trying to reinforce his stop. I really appreciate the motor in this dog - and really appreciate his stamina, but dang if he would just STOP when I tell him to... we'd have a lot less of a mess to clean up sometimes. He managed to place at Montpelier in Pro-Novice, and I'm toying with the idea of moving him up to Ranch if I can get enough work on him to make it reasonable. He's getting his whistles, and growing a brain. Good boy Linc.

Then, there is Nick. I can't remember what I've updated but he placed fourth in Open both days at Montpelier. This was our first time placing in open, and our first points for the finals. Neither of those runs were our best, but they were good, solid runs. On the second day we sat in first place ALL day... but there were a few really great runs in the last 7 or so runs. They were really nice runs, and ours was only good. It worked out the right way!

At Rural Hill the first day he crossed over at my feet, thus DQ'ing us. He had set himself up to go left... but right as I was about to send him he started leaning to the right, HARD. So I flipped him around to my right side. Then, the second I sent him, he crossed over to the left at my feet.ARGH! I could have choked him. I was trying SO hard to set him up right, knowing beforehand he might have issues with the horses at setout. Well... he did.

The second day had issues again on his outrun. He *really* didn't want to go around the horses. After a couple of redirects (which he ignored) he ran out to the left STRAIGHT up the side of the field - no real bend, so that he could squeak in between the horses and the sheep. He then proceeded to bugger the sheep all of the way down the field - straight as an arrow, about 50 yards off line, despite my very ardent protesting. Did I mention that it sometimes makes me happy when he flips me the doggie bird? This was not really one of those times.

I gave him an earful as he went around the post, and we got it together on the drive - to a point. I was surprised that the sheep pretty much forgave him. Then we had a little shedding lesson. I do a pretty good job of setting it up, but sometimes have trouble closing the deal. I need Robin's shedding lesson #2. BUT, we got it, with 9 seconds left on the clock. I don't even know why I did it, but I ran laughing like a lunatic to the pen. The entire crowd was roaring with laughter. I ran to the pen not saying a word to Nick, and as I turned with the gate open he was cramming those sheep in the pen... right as the timer went off. I'm guessing the sheep were just grateful. So yeah, we sucked it up bigtime at Rural Hill, but we at least offered some sort of crowd entertainment.

One of the conclusions I've come to is that part of our problems are just me being a new Open handler, and Nick being a new Open dog (with an inexperienced handler). The other big problem is that my dogs are just not getting enough work to make any of us happy. The housing market still sucks so much I don't want to sell my house yet, so I'm going to look into the possibility of renting some pasture.

In other dog news, June is good, Ginger is good and Zippy is getting old and doddery.

So far, for this year, I'm planning to work at Robin's March and April trials, but beyond that I don't know. I do know that the CrazyMobile is probably going to have to be replaced soon. But I plan to drive her until her wheels fall off! Rattletrap Power!

So that's it. Back down to my five dogs, and I think at this point I'm going to wait before I have another pup. At the moment I am really enjoying just having five. I wouldn't even mind getting down to four. Yeah, I'm sure that's going to happen.

Date? Isn't that a fruit?

2011-01-29T14:48:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago I posted Online Dating Decoded . The story behind that is that one day I was bored, and thought I might enjoy surfing around on match.com. It turns out you can look for free, but you have to make a profile. So I made a profile, and entertained myself looking at profiles. Then... then these guys started emailing me. It turns out that I have this nosiness problem. I could not bear the thought of not being able to read the emails. I think, too, that my nosiness problem is fairly well known. I don't want to tell anyone really what I know, I just like to know, and see.

So I signed up. I now, after two months of chatting on the phone and by email, have a first date.

What do people even DO on a first date anymore??? I mean, seriously? It's been ten years since I've had a first date with someone that I didn't already know pretty well. My first date with CR (remember him?) was "hey, why don't you come see my farm". Plus he already knew I had tons o dogs and was a little crazy. My first date with my ex-husband was sort of a "hey, we're already hanging out after this ball game lets go get food" sort of deal and I'd known him since I was 7 or 8. Well, then there was this first date with this cute sort of neighbor dude that was a total bust, but we already knew each other pretty well. Suffice it to say that he loves himself a lot.

I digress. So the issue at hand is, what in the samhill do people do on dates these days? I know, I need an emergency out. Who wants to sign up to be my emergency out? Then again, once he sees the CrazyMobile he might just drive away in a swirl of dust and barely concealed disgust (not to mention terror). doG forbid he stick his head in my car. Yep, that's why today, just in case, I've been vacuuming out my car. Most women would be getting manicures and shaving their legs before a date, and what am I doing? Vacuuming out crates and uh... taking in the towels that the crate full of chickens had been on.

What on earth am I going to wear? Well, I have two choices - farm clothes or work clothes. I don't have sexy going-on-a-first-date clothes. I'll never forget balling my eyes out the night before my wedding because I didn't have any sexy honeymoon panties. I'm afraid my situation hasn't changed much. I hope I still have some good manners left. After years of eating alone most of the time I hope I still know how to chew with my mouth closed. Besides, what DO people who don't do dogs and livestock talk about? This guy doesn't have either, though he does occasionally take his Mom's dog home for a sleepover. That's redeeming, right?

So we shall see. This dating thing is hard. Even the whole getting-to-know-you thing is hard. I hope I'm not all wilted and past my dating expiration date.

Ohmygosh, I hope I don't get to talking about taking sheep to the butcher, or the whole thinking about Julie and I killing chickens escapade.

Maybe I'll play it safe and talk about... uh... football. Or... uh... maybe I'll get lucky and he'll talk a lot. I tend to babble when I get nervous, like the first time I had to take my boss for a ride.

But on the upside, my crates smell bleachy-fresh.

New Year Resolutions

2011-01-29T14:37:00.004-05:00

I don't usually do NYRs, and I do realize that it's almost February. But I've been thinking. I need some goals. Maybe they're not even really NYRs but more just general life goals. I cannot seem to get myself on track for much of anything lately, so I'm making a list. We all know how much I like lists, so here's my list of short term goals:

1. Blog more
2. Change my work situation
3. Eat less
4. Curse less
5. Eat at least one fruit a day - to start
6. Drink more water - at least 1 bottle/day to start (I'd better get cracking today)
7. Play less FB games (yes, really)
8. Walk dogs more
9. Work on getting a new vehicle
10. Get a new mattress

Ok, so I'm not sure where the vehicle and mattress fall into things, but I can tell you that they're things I NEED. We're not even talking want anymore, we're in the world of need here. I've found that lately I cannot handle a whole lot of huge changes in my life, so I'm aiming for smaller changes - little by little.

I wish I could say that I had major dog working goals this year but I don't. With somewhat limited finances right now it's just not in the cards. I'm thinking about finding some pasture to rent because it really doesn't look like the housing market is getting better any time soon, and I think probably I'm going to have to hold what I've got for now. As for trialling this year, at the moment all I have on tap is working up top with Julie for Robin's trials in March and April. Beyond that... I just don't know.

So that's my list. I'm going to start with the Blog more part of things. I feel sort of blog-unworthy because I do not have a great camera and don't have tons and tons of supercool pictures to illustrate with. I guess we'll all just have to settle for mostly words, and hopefully the usual sort of zany stuff that happens in my world.

Small Dog Goes for a WalkAbout

2010-12-18T18:17:00.001-05:00

This is what happened one day at Robin's when the Small Dog went on a walkabout...

No dogs or sheep were harmed in the filming of this video.

Online Dating Decoded

2010-12-08T17:23:00.006-05:00

He writes: "I don't normally ask this so soon, but can we meet..."
He means: "I'd like to get laid."

He writes: "Family is the most important thing in my life."
He means: "I live with my mother."

He writes: "Hi, my name is ____ and I'd like to meet you."
He means: "I'd like to get laid."

He writes: "I've not had good luck so far with drawn out emails, so I like to move things along quickly. I think we should meet to see if we mesh."
He means: "So far I'm a total loser, and I'd like to get laid."

He writes: "I love to travel and am looking for that special person to do it with."
He means: "I'd like for you to pay for it."

He writes: "I am known for having a great sense of humor."
He means: "My mother is the only one who laughs at my jokes."

He writes: "I really like your profile and want to get to know you better. Here's my phone number - call me!"
He means: "I'd like to get laid."

Added by KPR:

He writes: "I work nights, so I'm available during the day"
He means: "I'm unemployed ... and married."

He writes: "I'm semi-retired, and my mother is sick, so I sold my house and moved in with her so I can take care of her,"
He means: "I don't have a job and I am a pathetic loser and am mooching off my mother now, but I came up with this great story to fool you with and it's working perfectly."

The Casual Eavesdropper? I think NOT.

2010-12-01T15:56:00.005-05:00

I'm standing in the kitchen at work, and I hear, "Blah blah blah I live in Level Cross blah blah blah FARM SITTER blah blah blah CHICKENS blah blah blah".

Farm Sitter? Level Cross? I pipe up, "So I have a friend near you guys that I used to farm sit for - how long does it take you to get to work? Come to think of it, my friend might could use a new farm-sitter since it's too far for me now."

He replied, "Oh, about 30 minutes, but you should tack on another 20 from your friend's place. What does she have?" I replied, "Sheep and Border Collies."

So I tune back out of the conversation, and go on about the business of washing the tea cup (the one that belongs to my boss). Did I ever mention that when I walk through the halls carrying his teacup that I hear the "Imperial Death March" in my head? I do. I even breathe a little bit like Darth Vader. Or a sleestak. Or Darth Vader eating a sleestak. Or maybe a sleestak eating Darth Vader. Whatever, but I hear the song.

I digress.

I'm tuned out again, until I hear, "Oh, but really, horses, cows and sheep are really just all the same".

Errr?

Here's where I begin to run amok. Afoul of the culture. In it with both feet. I pipe in (remember, I'm not really part of this conversation) "Oh but really sheep, cows and horses are not the same at ALL!"

I then proceeded to run my yak about how sheep can be a bit more inclined to fall over dead on you, and farm sitting border collies can take a special touch and so on. Oh yeah, I really know how to make friends around here. I'm not sure if the looks on their faces were looks of horror or glazed over boredom, but I sure did manage to clear out the break room in record speed. Hey, they should be grateful I didn't move on to butchering and having sheep in one's freezer. They're lucky I didn't get into a long diatribe about horses not being able to throw up, and colic, and all sorts of things. That would have taught them to think twice about allowing me to actively eavesdrop on them! So there.

Food Rules (according to the Mad Spaghetti Noodle Lady)

2010-11-24T09:36:00.002-05:00

I have lots of rules when it comes to food. I like many different things, and am willing to try most things, but there are certain rules that must be followed. Here is a sampling:

1. No food is to be eaten before or while drinking coffee. Once food happens coffee is over - there is no going back. Food is NEVER to be combined with coffee. I don't like for anything to interfere with my coffee experience. Coffee is never to be drunk with dessert - this would interfere with both the coffee experience AND the dessert experience. I know this goes against conventional wisdom, but I just cannot help it.

2. Eggs are to never have runny yolks. Eggs are to never even have yolks that might SUGGEST some form of runniness. Ever. Ew.

3. Breakfast food may be eaten any time of the day. However, dinner foods (such as pizza and fried chicken) may not EVER be eaten for breakfast.

4. Foods that are supposed to be eaten hot may never be eaten cold (ie no cold pizza... no cold fried chicken - see #3). This also applies to coffee.

5. Water goes down best for me when drunk at room temperature. No brain freezes allowed.

6. Candy bars MUST be intact before eating. You just never know who might have been fondling your candy bar at the store. It's perfectly OK to break it up yourself though.

7. Food should not touch. If by some tragedy food DOES touch, it may be allowed as long as neither food is runny. Some dipping sauces fall into the touching rule, others do not. Steak sauce does, ranch dressing does not.

8. Exception to the not touching rule: certain foods may be DIPPED in other foods. For example: roast beef is perfectly acceptable when dipped in one's mashed potatoes. However, it would be unacceptable to fully mix the two. Ew.

9. Everything is better with bacon. Additionally, there is no such thing as too much bacon. Ever.

10. Grits are to be eaten with salt and butter only. No exceptions.

11. Steak sauce is banned. See # 7. So is barbecue sauce, except on ribs.

12. PB&J is an exception to the touching rule. However, the PB and the J should be applied to separate pieces of bread and then put together - NEVER mixed beforehand. Same with PB & Banana.

I'd be interested to see if anyone else has food rules. :) I know I'm not the ONLY freak.

25 Things I've Learned My First Year in Open

2010-11-22T16:46:00.004-05:00

25 Things I've learned my first year trialing a sheepdog in Open (in no particular order):

1. You lose some... and you lose some.
2. One must pay their dues. Many times. It is fair.
3. It's a long way to go to just trial one dog in Open. Where? Anywhere. Anywhere is a long way to go to run just one dog.
4. Campers are good.
5. I wish I could afford one. But I gotz no money.
6. Tents suck.
7. Tents are better than nothing. They suck less than having nothing to sleep in.
8. Whistles are good. It helps to keep the whistle in your mouth.
9. Handler's dinners ROCK. It's a nice departure from PB&J. See #5
10. If I shuddup I can learn from the real handlers there.
11. Rain, in a tent, sucks. See #4
12. Your first open dog will pull lots of stunts designed for ultimate humiliation.
a. Crossing over at your feet
b. Not finding the sheep
c. Getting stuck on the exhaust
d. Blowing you off all the way down the fetch
e. Refusing flanks... and then missing the panels cuz the handler insisted *cough*
f. Looking goofy (Ok, so the long-legged Noodle cannot help this!)
13. Once you get past the point of major explosive trainwrecks but haven't yet achieved true greatness (for the most part) people don't really pay that much attention to your runs. Whew.
14. The first time you actually place in Open is worthy of a tear or two. So is the first major humiliation.
15. The first real shed at a trial, on the fly, with no points off is a very exciting moment.
16. Don't leave the post until you're called off, but temper that with an eye towards good sportsmanship and leave when you should. Learn the difference.
17. Give yourself a tiny break when you're new.
18. Tiny little personal sized porta-potties to go in tents make the tent experience suck a little less. But see #6.
19. Porta potties that spring a leak in your tent suck.
20. People put a lot of hard work, heart, and soul into putting on a trial. Be Grateful.
21. Watch your sheep.
22. Set your dog up right - and make sure the dog actually SEES the sheep before you send it.
23. Laugh a lot.
24. Trialing with friends is fun. Having no friends to hang with sucks. Get more friends. Be nice.
25. I love my dogs - and what a testament it is that we can do this together.

Just One Recent (mis)Adventure of Mad Spaghetti

2010-11-21T09:06:00.005-05:00

Back several weeks ago I was headed out to a trial (Highland Occasional SDT, I think, at Donald McCaig's). I had packed almost everything up in the van when I remembered I needed to put something else in there. I went up to the sliding door, and pulled the handle. Nothing happened. I mean, nothing. I locked and unlocked the doors, and pulled again. Nothing happened. I pulled. Nothing. I pulled again. NOTHING.

Hm. Maybe I should pull harder, I thought to myself.

I pulled harder. Nothing. I reared back and YANKED.

Suddenly I found myself arse over teakettle rolling backwards through the front yard, door handle in my hand. I jumped up (that's what adrenaline will do for you - normally I have to grumble and groan and use something to pull myself up) and brushed off my behind. I looked around to ascertain that nobody was around to see this. Whew.

I walked up to the van to see that I had pulled the entire door handle off of the van - and it had even warped the metal where it came out.

So what did I do? I called my Mom. "Mom, you're not going to believe this. I just pulled the door handle off of the Van!" Somehow she believed it. "How did you manage that?", she asked.

Uh, I'm an idiot? I said, "I have no idea. I really didn't even pull it that hard."

Yeah, right.

Conversations with a NoodleHead

2010-11-19T09:00:00.004-05:00

This past weekend at the Rural Hill SDT:

Me: You are going to go around those horses.
Noodle: No, I am not.
Me: Yes, you are!
Noodle: NO, I am NOT.
Me: OH YES YOU ARE!
Noodle: NO, I AM NOT!!!!!!!

This is followed by a duck inside of the horse to jigger the sheep off sideways, followed by covering… followed by:

Me: LIE DOWN!!! LIE DOWN!!! LIE DOWN!!! (side note: all lie downs are given in Linc-worthy voice of doom)
Noodle aka PunkBoy: *doggie finger*
Me: LIE DOWN YOU LISTEN LIE DOWN LIE DOWN
PunkBoy: la la la la la la la can’t hear you la la la la la
Me: LIE DOWN DO YOU HEAR ME YOU BETTER LIE DOWN
Me: *raises stick* (side note: this is guaranteed to make him actually run away)
PunkBoy: *raises doggie finger* la la la la can't hear you cuz I'm bringing the sheep la la la la

The sheep eventually get to my feet, and he eventually takes his fingers out of his ears.

Me: You better listen to me when I’m talking to you. Do you hear me?

Punkboy: Oh, Hi! I didn’t realize that you were here! Did you see how far I went and how far I had to bring them? And didn’t they arrive in spectacular fashion?

Follow Up Conversation

2010-11-18T16:00:00.000-05:00

So "I cannot copy for myself' called me again to say, "Do I mail things myself, or do you do it for me?" I responded, "Typically people here mail things for themselves, so yes, you would do it". The conversation progressed a little like this:

Old Guy: I have an envelope and these signed letters, so now what do I do? I know, I'll fold them up and put them in the envelope

Me: Have you addressed the envelope?

Old Guy: No.

Me: Ok. So you need to start by addressing the envelope. If you don't address it then it won't get very far.

Old Guy: Ok. Then what?

Me: You then put the letters in it, seal it up, and take it to the guys who put the postage on it. They'll then put the postage on it, and it'll go out.

At this point I could literally FEEL him wanting me to do it for him. Had he asked I would have, but I'm just not going to play this sort of passive aggressive game.

So, Old Guy, mail your own letter. This is just not that difficult.

You want me to do WHAT?

2010-11-18T11:40:00.004-05:00

I sit approximately seven feet from the copier. One of the managers came over a few minutes ago, stood BETWEEN me and the copier, and said, "Can you please make a copy of this for me?".

Seriously?

I got up, and responded, "Would you like to stand here and wait while I do this?" He nodded. I then said, "Would you like to come stand NEXT to the copier while I copy for you?" to which he replied, "I guess I could copy it myself but I'd probably mess it up". Yeah buddy, you probably would. You're ancient, a bumbler, and a bigot. What does the bigotry have to do with the ancientness? Nothing, it's just an observation. I gave him "the Eyebrow". I'll admit that the Eyebrow was relatively ineffective since I'm wearing my glasses at the moment. But I gave it to him anyway. I don't think he noticed.

Two weeks ago my shining moment in my new job was that my boss LET me go buy a gift for him to give at a baby shower. Keep in mind, however, that I was required to go to the baby shower in his stead. Did I mention how much I hate baby showers? Hate. Major hate. Baby showers rank right up there with bridal showers, weddings, funerals, and company parties. Oh yeah, I'm really moving up the corporate ladder. Watch out bottom feeders, soon I'll be taking over your position.

Two weeks ago my boss also LET me go get his car washed for him. Again. This was also a shining moment. This is what my work-life has become. Yay me.

For a while I coped with donuts. That upset my stomach. Then for a while I coped with copious amounts of wine. THAT upset my stomach. This week I'm resorting to shopping. This is also upsetting my stomach, but more like a vague acid thing as opposed to complete faucet-ass. Next week I plan to employ a new coping mechanism but I haven't picked it out yet. Maybe I'll go with something slightly less self destructive like enjoying my own witty banter and self-indulgence by blogging. It might upset my readers' stomachs, but maybe I'll feel a little better.

The Blog of Silence

2010-09-07T21:26:00.004-04:00

I don't think I've ever been accused of being silent, or even remotely in the neighborhood of silent. However, I have been I suppose when it comes to blogs and boards and emails and such lately. I think that I might be getting back on the horse, though. I seem to have lost my funny for a while, but I've found it. Trust me - I'll tell you all about the Turd in the Sleeping Bag later. But not tonight. Tonight.... cue Mighty Mouse music....

Who can it be?
It looks like a loose cannon! It moves like one too.

Oh wait. Is it a wolf?

No! It is Linc! Wait, what is he doing? Oh yeah, he's....

...bringing the sheep. He's lying down. He's actually finishing a Pro-Novice trial course.

Good dog Linc.

Like I said, I have some brags on the boys, but I'm exhausted after two weekends of trialing (the most I've done in a while). Updates to follow this weekend when I get my brain back. However, suffice it to say that both Nick and Linc are making me very proud. Photos taken by Nancy Starkey.

Unsilence.

Circle BR SDT Recap

2010-06-06T09:35:00.005-04:00

I think I could do an entire post about rain, hail, air mattresses (human taco #2 anyone?) and then tents that leak. I won't - you guys get the idea. As usual Ben and Emily were so hospitable, and just a whole lot of fun. The field is gorgeous - terraced, and beautiful.

Day #1 in Open we ran about middle of the day. We'd been delayed for fog for an hour and a half, and it was pretty hot by the time we ran. I was having images in my head of last year in Ranch when it took three redirects to get Nick to the top, but this time he just went. He lifted the sheep really nice, took his down, and then proceeded to just bring the sheep down the middle of the field without more than a whistle or two from me. We were perhaps not as precise as the judge might have liked (lost 4 pts on our fetch) but it was so nice. He continued that on the drive away, and I think I blew one whistle at him after I set it up.

We had some squiggles - took a really wide turn at the drive away panels, but got it back online. Then... I misjudged the crossdrive panel. They went around high, and by the time I figured it out it was too late. We got into the shedding ring and it was the last two on the head. We settled the sheep and strung them out, I flanked Nick a couple of steps and called him into about a 1' gap. As I was calling him in I thought, "OMG, what have I done???!?!?" but he came in - and we lost nothing on our shed or pen. I feel like I could ride for YEARS on that shed - it felt fabulous.

We were on the leader board for a while after that. Lame as I am I took a picture. I'm not sure where we ended up - my guesstimate is somewhere around 15th or 16th.

Here... lame-o picture:

Open Day#2 we ran three from last - around 4pm. It was hot, and I knew after a long season of being off he'd struggle. He ran out SO nice - landed deep and easy, and lost nothing on his outrun or lift. Nice fetch, and then it all went to heck in a hand basket. From that point on it was a matter of containment. I think we got a mercy point each on our drive, pen, and shed. We never did get them in the pen as I sent him for water and we still couldn't get them settled.

But he gave me everything he had. He was trying desperately to figure out how to handle them, and even though nothing we did seemed to help he gave it all. What a good boy he is.

Monday... ProNovice... Linc. Nice enough outrun (a tad flat and short, but didn't lose but 1 and 1). After a few steps though (no lie down in sight) one sheep broke back to the set out. I retired rather than have a rodeo. Then we had the rodeo. It was a zoo - he wouldn't stop, blew through the sheep, one fell down (uh... he helped it a bit) all of this after the judge asked me to turn the sheep back to the single. LOL! I tried to grab him and accidentally whacked him with my stick - and then had visions of people saying I was trying to beat my dog on the field. Nothing like a little paranoia to finish out one's weekend, right?

After that Nick and I exhausted the rest of the P/N class. Nick would like for everyone to know that the only job in the world that compares to pushing sheep out of the pens is EXHAUSTING. He has hung a sign on his crate that reads, "Will exhaust for food. Or not. Just will exhaust."

We had a good time. This coming weekend we're working at Robin's trial, and then two weeks after that we're going to Roy and Debbie's. Beyond that I don't know, but we are certainly having fun.

(top photo by Robin French)

The Crazies Ride Again

2010-05-27T09:29:00.001-04:00

Finally. After what feels like forever the Crazies and I are headed out to a trial this weekend at Dr. Ben Ousley's place in Lawndale, NC. I'm pretty excited to be getting the dogs out again, and they always love to just... go. I'm running Nick in Open, and Linc in ProNovice. As much as I hate that it's Linc's Nursery year and he's missing it, the truth is he's JUST not ready. Anyway, I'm looking SO forward to getting out and seeing everyone, and just getting away from home for a few days.

It has been a week of challenges though. The CrazyMobile's starter went out on me this week. I rolled 220K miles recently, and with every bit that passes I worry about how long she'll hold up. Plus, I have gotten nothing done in preparation for leaving. NOTHING. That's like double extra zero. The plan (yeah, whatever) was to leave around noon tomorrow and more or less caravan over with Julie. Well... I will get home from work tonight around 6pm. At that point I still have to do laundry, mow, vacuum, grocery shop, pack, load the van, water my garden, get gas and get going. This is assuming I make it to Target at lunch to pick up some things I need there. If that doesn't happen I'll have to add THAT to my list too. I just don't see how it's all going to happen by lunch time tomorrow.

Did I mention that I have been a grump of the first order? If I were to have some sort of re-naming ceremony I'd be "Grumpimous Maximous". Imagine going through the rest of your life with a name like that. Picture an evil PMSey version of a Sleestak. Yup, that's me. Lets see... in the last 24 hours I've managed to inadvertently upset a friend, send my dogs hiding, and then somehow managed to walk off and leave my coffee at home this morning - thus contributing to my feelings of ill will. I feel like a deranged fishwife with bed head on the inside. But hey, today is cheerful bright green shirt day! At least outwardly I'm exuding daylight and daisies. Maybe according to the power of positive thinking my bright green cheerful shirt will make me feel better. Oh wait, osmosis. Or whatever.

In all seriousness, though, for the sake of my dogs I'm going to just get over it. I've just got to get my groove back is all. I've lost my going trialing mojo. My train has derailed with this extended time off, so I just have to get back on the tracks. It's going to be a FUN weekend, with good friends. See you all there! I'll be the one with the bed head on the inside.

I Have a Problem

2010-04-02T16:57:00.005-04:00

I have a problem. I have a crate problem and they say that the first step is admitting it, so here I am admitting it. I have six dogs and 21 crates. Yes, that is two-one crates. 21. My Stepmom accused me of being a hoarder the other day when Moon came to stay permanently. I was pretty offended and off put by this (and declined Easter at their house) but while I'm certainly no dog hoarder I might just be a crate hoarder.

In my defense part of the problem is that when I started with the dogs I liked the wire crates. Somewhere along the line I realized that my dogs prefer plastic crates, and started the transition while not exactly getting rid of the wire crates. Ok, not getting rid of them at all. <insert singsong voice here> I've got crates in the van, crates in the living room, crates in the office, crates in the bedroom, crates in the dog room... and even crates at a friend's house. I've sold a few crates along the way, and even gave one to my ex-husband to go with my ex-bordercolliemixdogBree. But it's sort of like sitting there staring at a candy machine. I know I don't need it but I WANT it. Oh yes, I realize I sound like I'm about five years old.

Anyway, here's why this is an urgent problem at this exact moment - I just got an email from dog.com and guess what? They have free shipping on selected dog crates for a limited time. I am seriously jonesing here. Some women collect shoes. I collect crates. Here's the thing: I have a new dog. Doesn't she deserve her very own new plastic crate? Not only that, but it's exceptionally useful to have many crates for when other dogs come over to stay - and for when other dogs come ride in the StinkMobile.

Maybe if I went to Pet Supplies Plus and just smelled the dog crates it would help. I could just open and close their little doors and maybe arrange and rearrange them in the store. That would be ALMOST like having a new one myself, without the cost. So what if one of my dogs got in there? They'd never notice (the people who work there).

In some ways my crate problem is a little bit like my book problem. I just... love them and need them. Besides. FREE SHIPPING!!! Who can say no to free shipping? I'm going to try to talk myself out of it, because really the money could be better spent on Advantix and Glyco-Flex III. But man. Free shipping on crates.

Mad Spaghetti Strikes Back

2010-03-28T14:57:00.003-04:00

Earlier today I was on a mission. I was going to rid the CrazyMobile of the dog smell. Don't laugh... it was a noble cause indeedy. I thought to myself, "If I have to drive the boss around THIS week he's in for a huge surprise!" and boy is he ever.

I drug the crate pads out of the crates, put the extra crates back in the house (I'd had two extra in the back of the bus since I had Ghilly and Mac last week). Oh, and did I mention I have a new member of the Crazy Pack? Moon is now a permanent Crazy. She apparently decided that for herself, so now she's with me permanently. It's good though - she fits in well, and is appropriately submissive to Ginger.

Anyway, as I was saying I pulled out crate pads, tossed out any trash, and then drug the vacuum cleaner outside. I vacuumed the floors, and vacuumed out all of the crates. I usually do this on a reasonably regular basis (if you call 3x a year regular) and hadn't done it lately. I then sprayed all six crates out with apple cider vinegar. The vinegar acts as a cleaner, and also neutralizes odors. Oh yeah, I was armed and packin'! I was gonna wash that dog right out of my van (sung off key, of course).

What I didn't count on is the staggering vinegar smell every time I open the van door. I tried in vain to leave the van open to air out, but even with that when I get in there now the vinegar smell literally gags me. I'm not sure if the van still smells like dogs (I don't notice a dog smell) but it sure as heck smells like ACV. My guess? My guess would be that it smells like vinegar... and dogs.

I think I'm definitely losing here.

Mad Spaghetti Goes Corporate

2010-03-25T12:23:00.001-04:00

My new job is very much a big corporate sort of place, with a tiny hint of small corporate thrown in for good measure. My new boss is a very nice person - with a very nice car. This week he called me after I'd already gotten to work, and he wanted me to come pick him up. He'd dropped off his very nice car for maintenance, and wanted me to come get him... in the dog car. In case you missed it, let me say it again: My boss had dropped off his very nice car and wanted me to come pick him up. In the dog car. Please bear in mind that at this particular junction he didn't necessarily understand the ramifications of a ride in the dog car, and to my knowledge was unaware that I drove the dog car.

So there I was at 9:30 in the morning fresh off of a weekend of dog working and dog walking, and the dogs had taken quite a few swims in the creeks, and I've not washed dog bedding or vacuumed out crates recently. I just started my third week of work here, and up to this point I've parked the dog car in the veeeeeerrrrrry back of the parking lot, thinking maybe nobody would notice me rambling up to work in a minivan full of dog crates every morning, where I get out and put on my suit coat to take the walk of shame into the building.

I digress. I ran out to the van where I vigorously tried to de-doghair the passenger seat with a lint roller. I then rolled the windows all the way down, and proceeded to drive all the way to the car place with the wind beating me to death. This, I suspect, was a vain attempt at airing out the CrazyMobile. I also placed the bounce sheet infused lint roller next to the passenger seat thinking to maybe perfume the air of eau de bounce as opposed to eau de dog. Ok, so it was a good thought.

I somehow managed to get lost on the way to pick him up, so had to call him for help. When I rambled up he was standing on the side of the road... waiting in his suit and tie. I proceeded to apologize for the dog car, and he did try desperately to save me by saying, "I have a dog!". Unfortunately he made the grave mistake of asking how many dogs I had. This started a ramble-fest about how many dogs, what do we do, which segued into a ramble about sheep, factory farming, and butchers. Yes, I talked about butchering sheep to my new boss. All of this took place over the span of two blocks where I also managed to try to turn the wrong way down a one way street and cut across three lanes of traffic trying to recover.

I babbled incessantly (and yes, I could hear myself but seemed to be powerless to put a cork in it) and risked our lives all the way back to the office. I dropped him off at the door and then parked the van back in it's unobtrusive spot. I'm not sure why I bothered as obviously the gig is now up. Oh, and it gets worse. At one point, during the babble-fest and life and limb escapade, I blurted out, "I used to have a nice SUV but I gave it to my ex-husband so I could buy THIS!". Oh yeah baby, I'm just that good under pressure.

It took me seven hours to stop sweating. To make matters worse two days later he asked me to take him back to pick up his car. I guess maybe he wasn't as freaked out as I would have expected. Or more likely I was just the last person on earth available.

I Can Haz a Job!

2010-03-03T22:07:00.005-05:00

Well, the blessedly short period of unemployment has ended. I start a new job on Monday! And what does the picture have to do with any of this? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I just think it's funny, and we could all use a giggle. There's just something about those big ole bat ears and silly expressions on the Noodlehead's face that cracks me up. Besides, I'm pretty excited about starting on this new adventure. I hope this means that the season of extreme sacrifice is coming to a close - or at least a recession. My thermostat is now on 68. This is good.

Why do I need a job? Lots of reasons. I need to pay the bills, I need to sell my house and buy a farm and sheep and stuff, and I need to find something else to do... something other than watch reality TV shows.

This is what unemployment does to a person. Time becomes all weird and relative, and Reality TV is like some sort of warped lifeline. Yesterday I watched something like eight straight hours of "Millionaire Matchmaker". The day before I watched "America's Next Top Model". It was a marathon - an entire season of episodes, and you guessed it - I watched them all. Go cute Danielle with the tiny gap teeth! I lurves her. Oh, and lets not forget that "Tabitha Coffey's Salon Makeover" and "Shear Genius" are my new friends. "Chopped" is the bomb. These shows are all in addition to my usual ones, like "American Idol".

I need a job or my life will just waste away into a Reality TV sort of puddle of mush. The once quick as a whip mind will leave me and I'll be reduced to grunting, smoking, and living in a trailer park somewhere with my gazillion dogs and a guinea pig hidden in the walls.

YAY work!

The Proper Channels

2010-02-25T17:27:00.003-05:00

There is a post on the BC Boards at the moment by a member with two dogs that have gone missing. It absolutely breaks my heart for this person - and it's a fear I think most dog owners live with... the fear of losing one. However, it gets to me that often people who find these lost dogs don't even go through the proper channels to try to help these dogs out.

Case in point: I received a phone call around 9pm a few weeks ago. The caller (who shall remain nameless) was calling me because a loose dog had followed his roaming dog home, and did I want another dog. Uh... hello? Do you KNOW how many dogs I have at my house right now? Eight. I have my five, a puppy I'm keeping, plus two more border collies I'm boarding. I do not need another dog. Period. I suggested they should go to the proper measures to try to find out where the dog belonged.

I asked if they'd tried to find the owners. No. I suggested they maybe load the dog up (or leash it and walk) into the car and go drive around the neighborhood - it's a big subdivision - and see if anyone appears to be looking for a dog. He wasn't too interested in doing that. I suggested that if that didn't work I'd wait until morning and then call the animal shelter, local vets, and put up posters in the neighborhood advertising the found dog. I would even run by the shelter and see if they'd scan the tag-less dog for a microchip.

I heard some grumbling, and then that was the end of the conversation.

19 hours later I got a call back. He had found the dog a new home 30 minutes away with a coworker. Got that? The lost dog was given to someone else thirty minutes away after less than 24 hours, and no measures were taken to find the owners. I was so sick to my stomach I could hardly talk.

What if it had been one of my dogs? I'd be on a rampage. I rarely rampage, but this would push me over the top I'm afraid. All of my dogs minus one are microchipped and wear collars with Boomerang tags on them. However, most of my dogs lurve to roll in stinky nasty things, could feasibly lose a collar and then show up somewhere looking like they've never been cared for in their lives. They also are kept very thin - in working condition - so your average pet owner out there would assume they were starved. I cannot fathom. I'm still sick over it.

The moral to the story is this: If you find a dog wandering around... go through the proper channels to try to find the owners. It's the right thing to do.

ETA: I also meant to mention that the situation was not intentional ignorance - they truly felt like they were doing the right thing.

Happy Zen Place

2010-02-20T18:44:00.004-05:00

I think Linc and I have finally found our Happy Zen Place together. Well, maybe he's grown up a little. Maybe both. He turned two back in December and it's been a bit like flipping a switch for him. I'm sure it has helped that we've more or less taken some time off by necessity, but he's... different. I'm different. Even though losing my job has hurt in some respects the horrible dread and tension that's been hanging over my head has lifted. I'm actually able to relax. I'm able to sleep again. Sleep is good. Sleep keeps the orange fire from shooting out of my eye sockets. Well, except for the times when there's PMS... that is always the exception.

Today as I was driving down to Julie's to watch lesson day I ran through working him day before yesterday. It occurred to me, "Hey! We sorted sheep and he didn't bite anything! He didn't rush anything, and when I flanked him around to my feet he came softly and lifted them off of me gently but with authority at the same time. That's pretty special!" What a nice feeling that was.

He was looking at me more than I'd like today so I made an extra effort to just not look at him. I think maybe he's slightly weirded out by my kinder, gentler, quieter way of handling him. I'll admit that I'm vaguely weirded out by myself too, but then who do I not weird out? OK, at the very least crack up, anyway?

Interestingly enough the last two times I've worked him he's thought *very* hard about grabbing something, and when I've said simply, "NO. Don't do that." he's stopped. Amazing. Who would have thought I could just have a conversation with this dog? Isn't that part of what handling the stock is though? Isn't it partly a conversation, so to speak, between me and my dog?

Nick is into middle finger dog working this week. But... I'm not letting that get to me. I don't mind so much Nick boogering me a bit - it doesn't take me standing on my head to get his attention. So here's to Happy Zen Place dog working! May we all have our Happy Zen Places with our dogs this week.

A New Vocation

2010-02-09T14:58:00.003-05:00

Starting today I'll be taking in dogs for training. Not just any training, mind you, I'm going to take dogs in and start them on stock... all without ever leaving my house. Oh yes, this will be a good way to take out the potential for danger and injury for your dog.

I will start by teaching a stop using the back door method. When I recall a dog to come inside I'll slam the door shut in their faces while screaming "Lie DOWN!". When they hit the deck I'll toss a cookie through the doggie door. This, of course, will become less effective as the dogs learn they can come through the doggie door, so this will need to be implemented at a young age.

Next they'll learn to call off. This will be taught on a long line, and I'll teach them to call off from chasing Zippy. I mean, he's white. Mostly. And silly, and he doesn't notice when other dogs harrass him anyway. So, recall will be taught from chasing the Small Dog. I can see as to where this might be a problem considering that Zippy doesn't really run very often, but I assure you, my skeptical future employers, that I'll find a way around that. Even Small Dog runs for dinner.

The next part of the Inner-City Sheepdog Training Program is teaching flanks. I'll start them off in the back yard on a long line, and then progress to free lungeing with treats thrown at an intermittent reinforcement schedule to reinforce directions. From there we will progress to flanking around the house. I'll use a chuck-it and big strong man (big strong man TBD) to reinforce the flanks out of sight. This should open the dogs up nicely, and give nice *square* flanks.

Driving might be a bit tricky, but for this we'll make use of the long sidewalk in front of my house, and a remote-controlled car. I'll teach the dogs to follow along behind a remote-controlled car, and will keep them on a long line so as to ensure their safety while adjacent to our slightly busy street. I can, of course, stand on the porch for this exercise. Additionally, I will smear peanut butter on the spoiler of the car to reinforce rapt following of said car.

Finally they'll complete the starting portion of their training with some beginner shedding. I'll start them out with a couch cushion setup. It's important to have cushions that neither cling or swirl, and I'll have to set them on different sides of the living room to make sure there's enough room to call the dog through. When the dog gets proficient at cushion shedding, we'll move on to shedding the dogs that live in the house. If they can shed the Crazies... they can shed ANYTHING.

Should the neighbor's duck get loose again I'll utilize him to introduce the dog to different stock.

After all of this, your dog should return to you sufficiently started to do anything you need him to do. For this amazing service I will charge $1800 per month, per dog, and they must bring their own food. You, the owner, must supply sufficient cookies to cement these methods. I am intending to implement an online training follow up course, entitled "Training your dog on look backs using items you have in your own home".

Please email me for more information. I'm eager to get started, and I'm sure your sheepdog is too! Annnnnnd.... if you act now I'll throw in one free week of look back training too!

This message has been brought to you in jest and does not seriously reflect the true thoughts or methods of the author. Disclaimer: Please, do not try this at home

Becoming the Statistic

2010-02-03T08:22:00.010-05:00

This past Friday I was laid off from the job I've held for right at 10 years. Earlier this year we took pay cuts (ouch) and now... the ultimate pay cut. I hope the very best for the company, but man does this ever hurt. Even when you know it might be coming it still hurts when it happens, right? In some ways it's a relief that I no longer have that axe hanging over my head. It will be a bigger relief if I get a paycheck for the last two weeks.

Someone in my family is in a similar situation. This person's company has instituted 30% pay cuts and put a freeze on overtime. You don't really have many options when your pay disappears (or your job for that matter) and you don't have another job lined up. Almost everyone I know has been negatively impacted with regards to income and job security. It's heart breaking, and scary.

I'm going today to sign up with a temporary/staffing agency in hopes to fill in the gaps while I find a permanent place to land. Unemployment Insurance will help but it won't be enough to live on. I've finally had some positive response otherwise, so I'm crossing my fingers there. But in the meantime I'm treating this as the desperate situation that it is.

So the dogs aren't getting a whole lot of work right now. I'd had visions at one point of trying to get my dogs qualified for the finals this year - as it's in VA, which is practically in my back yard. Now I'm just having hopes of surviving and keeping a roof over my head. Oh, and that's not to mention the snow and rain and mud and muck! It's been an icky winter so far, and I'm pretty much over it. I still have Moon, but she's such a good sweet girl that she's really not much trouble at all. I've not particularly felt like blogging much - there's not been much to say, or in the case of where there is much to say not much I CAN say. I'm just hoping and praying that it gets better for all of us - and soon.

International Shedding Clinic

2010-01-18T20:49:00.004-05:00

This past Saturday I went with Julie and met up with Robin and Dan at an International Shedding clinic with Tommy Wilson. I was fortunate to be able to go audit, and had an absolute ball. I always watch International Sheds at trials on the edge of my seat, and it was nice to be able to begin to have some sort of understanding without the pressures of a trial situation. Shoot, if I'm truly honest it was nice to not have the pressures of trying to do it with my dog but to be able to watch and learn.

I usually manage to take a few things home from a clinic, somehow only being able to absorb a small number of things at one time. Here are the four things I took home from this one:

Watch the sheep you want to keep, but don't look at the ones you want to let go
Sometimes you do what you have to do to save it, even if it means losing a couple of points
If you turn the ones back you want to let go too many times they'll not want to go
If you turn the ones back you want to keep very assertively they'll think twice about trying to go next time

It was a fun time, and since the Small Dog was one of the chosen three who got to go, he had a blast of a time. Dan King kindly took the two pictures in this post, thanks Dan!

An Afternoon in the Life of a Crazy

2010-01-11T11:28:00.006-05:00

I loaded up the CrazyMobile with six dogs yesterday - my five plus Robin's Moon who happens to be hanging out at Chez Crazy for a little while (not permanently). We went out to Julie's to work a little and to play a little.

We took two nice walks - and nevermind the fact that it's stupid cold outside the border collies, excepting Moon, all decided to take a swim in the frigid creek. Not just once, but twice. Man was it cold, but the dogs were happy to get out.

Zippy was not thrilled to be taken on a walk, but my vet wants to see him maintain the muscle mass in his back end, or possibly increase it. Speaking of Zippy - turns out he has a Grade 4 heart murmur. I need to get him scheduled to go in and take an X-Ray, and start him on some meds. He's just sixteen, and finally starting to show his age some. It absolutely breaks my heart, but on the other hand I've been blessed with almost five years with him now and I'm grateful for each day. Well, that is except for the days maybe where he's "One Papillon Free to a Good Home".

Ginger got to come into the big pasture with me while Julie and I worked on pulling some of the unpalatable parts of the round bale she'd just gotten off of the bale. While we did this Ginger wandered around obvlivious to the fact that Kelly and Spottie were out there working. Ginger is oblivious to sheep as Zippy is oblivious to chickens.

I worked Linc a bit - and practiced staying relaxed but firm. It worked pretty well, and he managed to stay relaxed. I used him to sort Crazy Red out of the group, and then to sort sheep later for the puppies. I didn't see any crashing into the sheep on inside flanks, and I was very pleased that he seemed to be listening just right. I think it would be fair to say we BOTH had good attitudes. Mark the day down.

After that I got to see some puppy working (yay puppies!) and then Nick got recruited to push the sheep off of the feed bunks while Julie put out feed. He pushed the ducks off of the feed too - which always makes him happy as he loves him some ducks. I then took him behind the barn with me to collect eggs where he got attacked by one of Julie's housemate's Velociraptors. I told him to "get em up" - which to Julie's dismay only resulted in closed-mouthed lungeing. Oh yeah, Velociraptors of the world shall quake at our feet. NOT! So much for that. I'd hoped he might teach them a lesson. Guess not.

Finally around 4:30 we put dogs up and went to pick up about 35,000 bales of hay. No, not really. Actually it was 35 bales of hay that the hay guy threw down to me as I loaded them on the trailer. Julie supervised. Activity points baby! We wound up putting them up in the dark as we realized when we got back that we had JUST enough daylight for that second dog walk. I'll admit that when we got to the last bale (we had to carry it a ways, toss it over the fence, and then stack it in the barn) I was pretty wiped out. Good work - a nice start to this week's plan to start losing weight, making healthier choices, and so on. Too bad it won't count as the week starts on Tuesday.

Our reward? After the hay stacking (Julie did most of the stacking part) a stop at Cracker Barrel for pancakes. YUM! So really living in the city and not having my own sheep means I have to work harder to get my dogs work, and work harder to get MYSELF work. But it's worth it.

After all of that I went home and washed off Nick's neck. Why? That's because Nick had apparently amused himself by rolling in cat pee while I helped Julie with hay. Bad dog. I then fed dogs, and hung out with my feet up just waiting for bed time. I must have gotten lazy recently as the work took much more of a toll on me as it should. But man is it ever rewarding.

Photo by Dan King

Growing Pains

2010-01-07T14:52:00.002-05:00

This dog working thing is so fluid. It's intuitive, in the moment, and it changes from one second to the next. I'm not a big fan of changes. I like rules, schedules, and I like for things to be as they are and stay as they are forever Amen. So sometimes when I think I have a particular issue with a dog worked out and it pops back up I just don't know what to do. When the picture changes I struggle just a little sometimes.

I farm-sat for Mary and Tony over Christmas. I had a ball, the dogs had a ball, and while farm-sitting is always hard work (anyone need a good farm-sitter?) I always have fun. I worked the dogs a little while I was there, but unfortunately being over the holidays I didn't have as much free time as I would have liked.

Anyway, one day out there Robin commented that it didn't seem like Linc and I were having much fun. Turns out she was right. He was being a little hard-head, and in response I was cranking on him. The tougher I'd get the tougher he'd get, and it was like watching a modern day sword-fight except with sheep, dogs, and one seriously pissed off human.

So with Robin's help I relaxed. I helped my dog relax. Suddenly we were working together as a team again. That begs the question - does he get tough because I get tough, or do I get tough because he does? Do we feed on each other - is it like a spontaneous combustion? Did he *already* know I was stressed and it just became one big head butting match? I realize that I am under considerable stress otherwise, and I'm sure that it must be eeking out and leaching into my dog working. I noticed Nick reacting strongly to me the other day at Mary's, and I'm sure some of it is simply a response to the turmoil that has nothing to do with them at all. These dogs, they read me well. I can only hope to become a fraction as skilled in reading them!

Every time I think I have my relationship with Linc figured out it seems like I've set myself up for another growing pain. I think I have it all figured out, and then I realize I'm having a lapse. I'll realize I have my shoulders up around my ears, and I'm running around the field shrieking like a banshee and looking like I have no neck. I'm like the neckless bandit of dog working. Not pretty. So thankfully Robin and Julie gently remind me to relax, and next thing I know the whole picture changes.

These growing pains are hard. But they're worth it I think. Linc is going to make me a better trainer and handler even if it kills us both.

Road Rage Redux

2009-12-28T15:13:00.002-05:00

Evidently somewhere along the line in the last few weeks I made this blog post and never published it. Oopsie! This might just be rantings of a mad woman (er, uh, as if any of my posts are anything but) but reading after the fact I found it amusing. Here it is:

Road Rage

It's hard to road rage someone when that someone is a cop in front of you sitting through the green left turn arrow. Doesn't he know that the green arrow only stays green for approximately five seconds? Doesn't he know it's stupid hard to turn on the green yield at this particular stop light? So, what, I'm reduced to sitting back there fluttering my hands and just HOPING he'll look up since I'm sure as spitting not going to honk my horn at a cop? Who beeps their horn at a cop? Not me in my way-past-due-for-inspection minivan. But really, he's standing between me and "The Baconator". That's two gigantor beef patties and enough bacon to send me into cardiac arrest with one bite. He wants to get between me and THAT? Not advisable.

Is road rage a verb? I don't think so, but it should be. I will admit that road-raging someone isn't terribly effective when you're driving a mini-van full of dog crates. It surely takes some of the sting out of it. Well, then there's the fact that the CrazyMobile doesn't have much get up and go - and it's hard to tailgate when you can't keep up. Oh, but I can cuss them out in their rear-view mirror like it's nobody's business. Then there's the fact that I don't speed. This is, of course, is an obstacle to be overcome in the act of road raging. But I win extra road-rage points for intent.

Just like sheep can read the dog's intent, so should other drivers on the road get MY intent. It's hot, mad, angry, and more than a little crazy. If I could keep up I'd kick their bad-driver behinds. But for those two seconds at the stoplight I'm all UP in their tail pipes. For those two seconds I'm a badass. That's those moments right before I push the gas pedal and the engine just rattles a little louder.

Training Linc

2009-12-02T20:04:00.006-05:00

(Photo by Robin French)

I suppose this is my dog blog most of the time, but here lately I haven't had much dog-blogging to do. We're in a bit of a holding pattern here, the dogs and I, since I'm limited as to how much work I can get my dogs at the moment. I've got limited mobility, limited fundage, and I can't do any trials right now. But, I figure I can't ONLY talk about farting in colors and whatever other stupid stuff that strikes my fancy, so maybe I'll actually talk about training a dog for a change.

So. Nick's rocking right along. Not much to talk about there - I absolutely adore and depend on him. I think everyone should have a first dog like him. He's been so good for me - and he keeps my shoulder blades warm at night too. Nick believes in yes ma'am moments. He has opinions but he's open to my input, unless I'm REALLY wrong. Sometimes even then. But he believes in yes ma'am moments.

Linc is interesting. Linc doesn't believe in yes ma'am moments. He believes in "tell me why I should listen to you" moments, "make me" moments, and sometimes in "please make it clearer because I just don't get it" moments. I'm a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, and not always fast to know where his head is some days. Linc is complicated. He's complex. He's stunning to watch. He has a shiny coat.

At the Water Cress SDT he was weird about walking straight in on the sheep - and I've seen that since. So two weekends ago we tried just letting him figure it out. Linc has a tendency to ratchet up when I correct him, so Robin and I worked on letting him know when he was where I wanted him, and otherwise leaving him alone (more or less ignoring some of the silliness). So last weekend he demonstrated that he had remembered how to bring the sheep - how to run out enthusiastically, how to walk in, and how to bring them.

So then I had to remind him he needed to stop. We'd moved on to some driving, and while tooling along I'd try to stop him. Of course I would - he was starting to slip around (ok, not slipping, more like careening) and I was trying to manage him with a stop. He wasn't listening, I was riding him, and next thing I knew he'd be blowing into the sheep on the side. Robin explained that I needed to make it clear what I wanted (not nagging for sure, which I was doing) and clear up the grey areas.

This time we used corrections when he tried to slip around the sides of the sheep (instead of my nagging him to lie down and correcting him BADLY and ineffectively as he was already committed to finding a sheep to hang off of), and talked nicely to him as he began to fall in behind the sheep. 'Lo and behold as I made this clear to him he began to soften. He was *getting it*. He was not only getting it, but he was taking corrections nicely (as opposed to butting heads with me), understanding what I wanted, and we both got to go home happy and pleased with ourselves. He finally got to the point where he wasn't testing the edges, he just was happy to sit back there and drive the sheep. A soft word from me had him adjusting. When we left Robin's last weekend I had another dog that believed in yes ma'am moments - even if only for that day.

I wonder, sometimes, if dogs sit around and discuss me like we do them. I can hear Linc right now:

That human. She just has the suckiest timing, and it makes me want to choke her. Since I can't choke her I just hang off of some sheep every now and then. It makes her SO mad! I just don't understand her. If she'd LISTEN to me. If she'd just be more clear maybe we'd mesh better. She does feed me. She picks up the poop a lot. I thought for a while she was eating it, but I've figured out that she's putting it in some bag as she goes along. As far as humans go she doesn't suck the most, but sometimes she REALLY makes me crazy. I have to work hard to figure her out sometimes. She's complicated. She does have shiny hair.

Yeah, thanks buddy.

Bah Humbug

2009-12-01T10:00:00.005-05:00

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I actually said some of the things I think. I mean, truly, I often do. But sometimes for the sake of good old southern tact I hold back. It's the right thing to do. So here's what I really think about the holidays this year. If you're full of Christmas cheer you should probably stop reading now.

For starters, this ornament swap thing I have to go to every year? It's my idea of HELL. I respect that my step-mother is making a tradition (and I go because it's important to her). I go because I know it matters to her, but as a matter of personal things I would choose to go to this *type* of activity is not one I'd ever choose. So, on principle I have to gripe about this.

I don't do social gatherings really unless dogs and sheep (or seriously good food) is involved. None of the above is really involved in this thing. It's a bunch of people (mostly family) at my Dad's house and these types of gatherings I find very stressful.

Everyone brings an ornament. Numbers are drawn and then the sneaky Santa game is played with Christmas tree ornaments (I call this part multiple layers of hell). First off, it pisses me off when someone steals what I have, unless I hate it. Then it's OK. Hey, it's my hell, I can make my own rules. I don't like to steal from the others because it's not nice. See? Bound by my own conventions, but it's still hell. I'm expected to make nicey-nice when what I really want to do is single-handedly wipe out the fruitcake plate, which of course I eventually do because apparently I'm the only one there who likes fruitcake. While this should make me happy the guilt that follows plummets me into another kind of guilt-ridden hell.

I seriously wait until the first person leaves and I'm hot on their heels. Hell. Normal people just cannot possibly love these types of things.

So at the personal hell party I was discussing the logistics of getting my Christmas tree into my living room this year with another resident of this personal hell. As I am without big strong man I now have to depend on someone coming over to help me not only lug the 9' tree in there but also help me put it up and somehow get the topper on. Julie has offered to come help because she's way too good to me. However, I'm thinking the only way Julie and I are getting that topper on is if she stands on my shoulders. I draw the line at shoulder stands. I gave up shoulder stands when I graduated high school. That is unless you're talking about the sexy shirtless guy who plays Jacob in the "New Moon" movie. I might would relent for him.

At any rate, I lamented to her (another resident of hell) that I couldn't see going through all that trouble just to put up a tree that won't have a single present under it. Her comment? That I should wrap empty boxes so it would LOOK like there's presents.

Uh... hello? Who does that? I'm going to be the bigger woman and say that I want real presents under the tree dammit. Yeah, that's right. I'm not wrapping stupid empty boxes to go under the tree. What, is that like some sort of perpetual exercise in disappointment EVERY DAY? I can't imagine walking in there every day to be like, "Oh. They're empty." I mean, seriously, she even suggested I could write an "E" on the bottom of the empties so I'd know which was which. I almost choked on the stupid little cracker covered in some sort of unrecognizable but reasonably tasty dip.

While I'm at it, if I hear another Christmas song on the radio I'm going to claw my own ears off. And the movies? Everyone is all like "Ooooh! I LOVE all of those touching Christmas movies!" Gag me. I have crops to harvest on FarmVille. I don't have TIME for Christmas movies, and even if I did why would I want to sit around and snivel at all the Hallmark moments when I could be attending fun things like ornament swaps and white elephant parties?

Harbinger of Christmas Sneer = Me.