Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Conversations with a Crazy

This conversation with my brother the other night:

J: Your car stinks.
LC (me): What? Nunh-uh! It does NOT you punk.
J: Yeah, it does. You have GOT to do something about it.
LC: NUNH-UH!!! It does not stink.
J: I'm telling you it does. The other night I almost threw up. When I was helping you and Sandy with her car and I had to get your jumper cables out of the van? I opened the door and it smelled so bad I almost threw up. I talked to Ashley and she thinks it stinks too.
LC: Does it smell like mold? The other day at a trial it was all rainy and I left some towels in there. It could be like... stinky towels or stinky socks or something.
J: It doesn't smell like mold.
LC: Not mold? How about stinky socks? Sometimes I pull my socks off, and then take them into the house later.
J: It doesn't smell like socks.
LC: Ok, Ok, I'll do something about it. I've been meaning to do something about it really.

Although seriously I couldn't figure out what he was smelling nor could I figure out what I was to do about it

A conversation with Sandy:

LC: My brother says the van stinks and I need you to smell it. I can't figure out what he's

Because she's my friend Sandy agreed to smell it.

LC: Ok, ready? Take a big deep fresh air breath.
Sandy: *takes a gigantic breath and puffs her cheeks out like a pufferfish*
LC: Ok, get in, close the door fast, take a deep breath, and tell me what you smell.

Sandy gets in, and I walk around and hop into the driver's seat.

LC: Ok, what do you smell?
Sandy: Nothing.
LC: Seriously? Nothing?
Sandy: Well, maybe a faint hint of dog, but that's it. This is a dog car. I have a dog car. I don't notice dog smells. You don't notice dog smells. We have dogs in our cars.
LC: Dog? Of course it smells like dog. But you don't smell anything else stinky?
Sandy: No.

Back to my brother:

LC: Seriously. What does my car smell like then?
J: Dog.

Really? I was afraid it might smell like pond muck or dirty socks. I can live with dog. I do live with dogs. In my car, in my house, and everywhere in between. Dog. My car smells like dog. Imagine that!


Laura Carson said...

I suppose it would be fair to footnote that being my obsessive self I also made Julie smell it, and obsessed all DAY over what my car smelled like.

Jean said...

LOL! Been there, done that! I occasionally walk into my house and think "what's that smell?". Oh yes, dog. It does give me pause to think about what non-dog people must smell when they walk in. Oh well - if they don't like dogs, they don't have to visit.
I guess your brother won't be borrowing your van anytime soon!

Kelly said...

Ha, I had to take my sisters dog back to her (finally!) the other day. She says "your car is a mess, gosh didn't you just buy it, ewwww...."
Me: OMG, I just vaccumed it out, what do you mean, did Tucker leave something in my car?
Sister: no its just got like dog hair and hay pieces and stuff in the back and there is mud on the side of it.
Me: Uhhh seriously I have like oh 6 dogs and I've been taking care of yours for the past 2 months....also I have 11 sheep and a few horses and hey what do you know I kind of live in the country off a dirt road and when it rains that dirt kind of turns to mud.
Sister: Your weird and how do you live out there anyway, ugghhhh why don't you give some of those animals away or something...


Laura Carson said...

Jean, lol! He actually made a point (in the conversation before it lead up to what I posted here) to say that my house doesn't smell bad. He says my house always smells nice. I'm like, compared to what? My car? Obviously.

Kelly, Bwaahahahahaha! That was what I was thinking too... that I'd not too long ago vacuumed out crates, washed bedding, blah blah blah. No worries, I'd ride in your car. ;)

Emma Rose said...

Hahahaha! Not only does my car and house smell like dogs, there is DOG HAIR everywhere! I opened the fridge the other day and found dog hair. I nearly fainted - but decided to laugh instead, then hugged my dogs :)

Laura Carson said...

You say that like other people DON'T have dog hair in their refrigerators. Odd that.

In interest of full disclosure, the whole conversation came up because I'd had a friend visit my house that I was sort of interested in. I'd been wondering if maybe the stark reality of the dogs had scared him... and my brother responded that my house smelled nice but for the LOVE OF GOD don't let him in my car. Then... the conversation was ON.

Strangely when he was there, this friend, I wouldn't let him look in my refrigerator. LOL! I recently cleaned out the microwave though, so people are now allowed to look in there again.

Kelly said...

This would be why you find a man who doesn't clean his own house, therefore doesn't notice when there is dog anything lying around!!!

BCxFour said...

My son came home from school the other day absolutely fuming. When I asked him what was wrong he told me a girl was pulling dog hair off his backside during Algebra. She told him it was gross. He thinks I should get rid of all the dogs. I told him he can leave anytime.

Dog smell is a nice smell. Doesn't Yankee Candles make a "wet dog" scent yet? Gosh, they really should.

BCxFour said...

LOL about the dog hair in the fridge. Today when I opened a jar of my freshly canned peaches...guess what I found? A dog hair. Yep. I canned dog hair with the peaches.

Kelly said...

See that is exactly why when they have pot lucks at work I just buy something to bring in....for fear that they would find dog hair and oust me from the hospital.....

but then again, the food I buy might pick up dog hair on the ride over...ha ha ha then I can blame the place I got it from!

Laura Carson said...

LOL! All dog hair all the time. I used to actually vacuum the couch before Chuck Reloaded would come over. Who vacuums a couch?

Kelly said...

HA I do, but not because of the dogs...because of the *&%&%%$*^ cats....someone PLEASE take a cat...PLEASE

fulltiltbcs said...

Why is it when a person smells something odd/good/nasty whatever..they have to have someone "confirm it"...

THIS SMELLS NASTY! SMELL IT..and we do...knowing it very well is going to burn off all our nose hairs :)

Now dog..nothing wrong with dog smell ;-)

Laura Carson said...

LOL! I know, right? Same thing with tasting something nasty. hehe Human nature I suppose.

Anonymous said...

I loved this post!! My brothers are always saying my car smells bad. It doesn't smell to me!! Well, most of the time it doesn't smell. Last Wednesday night it smelled bad. My dog rolled in something at SAR training and I had to ride home with the stinky bugger.

Paula said...

OK, I thought the conversation with Dan was funny...OMG, this is hysterical!!

I'm always hoping my house doesn't smell like cats and dogs. If that doesn't happen, at least don't let ME smell like cats and dogs.