I've finally sworn off Internet dating sites (well, at least until the next time I get bored on a Saturday night). Good for me. But I've not yet completely sworn off dating totally. Anyway, I happened to run into someone a week or two ago that I knew when I was a kid (only vaguely though). After running into each other we sent a few facebook messages back and forth.
Then he asked me out for Saturday night. Normal stuff... dinner and a movie. YAY me! I said yes, and was really looking forward to it.
We tossed around a couple more mundane messages when the conversation went really far south. It went a little like this:
Him: Beard or no beard?
Me: I don't really care. I totally dig facial hair on men, but it's a matter of what makes you happy. I was distracted the other day and didn't notice if you had facial hair or not. So go with what makes you comfortable.
Him: I'm curious... just how freaky are you?
To this I thought, Ok, maybe I'm not understanding the question. If you know me you know that I'm not always the quickest on the uptake when it comes to lewd suggestions. Some things just fly right over my head. So I figured I would shut this thing down nicely but try not to completely run him off. I'm walking a line here on this one.
Me: Telling you would take all the fun out of finding out.
See? A little flirty, but dodging and not wanting to go there. In retrospect I should have just gone ahead and delivered the People's Elbow right then. But ya know, I was trying to somewhat preserve this rapidly deteriorating situation. I was hoping that he wasn't trying to go there. That I'd misunderstood.
Him: I like your attitude. Ever been in a threesome?
Yep. He's trying to go there. I wasn't misinterpreting. Apparently my response wasn't the correct one to convey my intent. No more nice girl. No hinting, no dodging - clearly it was time to lay it out there. Liking my attitude wasn't exactly the message I was trying to convey, so I figured I'd better get pretty blunt.
Me: Ok, so clearly I'm not freaky enough to be having this sort of conversation with you this soon.
Him: I'm horny. What are you wearing?
He then proceeded to give me his cell number so that I could text him because it would be faster and "more responsive". Uh... sorry dude. I've had enough response from you.
Me: I think we're on totally different wavelengths here. I'm going to have to pass on the Saturday night thing. But take care!
I mean, really?!? How do we go from mundane to this? Do people really get this personal so quickly these days? He's not the first guy I've had to fend off with this whole "sexting" thing since my divorce. It's really too bad - the guy is really nice looking and seems to have his life in order.
I'm really REALLY mad at him for screwing up my first date with him. Now it's a no date. Poo.
Julie asked me, "Where do you find these people?"
I have no idea.