Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Pet Peeve of the Day

Pet Peeve of the day:

Women who pee on the toilet seat and leave it there.

That is all.

Actually, that's not all. If you're of gentle disposition you may want to just stop reading now. Don't want to offend sensibilities.

At any rate, I'm not sure if it jeebes me out more when they leave it or when they've peed on it and wiped it away and then I don't know it. Either way I'm way too old and uncoordinated to hover at work a million times a day. Understand that hovering in public places is still mandatory, but I justify that if we all work together every day we're sharing enough anyway to make us almost family. Now granted I could go the triple-thick-ass-gasket route, but I don't always have that much time when I'm scrambling with all of the stoopid buttons on my britches.

There's not that many women here at my office, and I'm sorry but when you drink a bazillion bottles of water a day you have to go pee. A lot. So sorry, but I gotta sit. I think with the vertigo thing these days popping up on occasion hovering is a bad idea. The only idea that appeals less than sitting in pee is falling over with my knickers around my ankles. Bad. Very bad.

Of course most of the time I just wipe the seat before sitting for good measure. However, sometimes the matter is more urgent. Sometimes I miss a spot. Either way... you hussies are peeving me. Cut it out.

These days I'm not nearly as concerned about the cootie factor. I just don't want to have to wipe pee off of my behind. So please. Wipe it up. kthnx.

PS - I've narrowed it down and I think I know who you are.


Joan said...

OMG Laura you are sooo funny! I needed that. I'm having a horrible day/week/month and reading your post just put me in a completely different frame of mind..thankyou!

Laura Carson said...

You're welcome. It somehow makes things feel just a little better to be able to either laugh or give someone else the opportunity to laugh (for me, anyway). :)

An English Shepherd said...

Opps... that post sounds like it is from the heart !

Laura Carson said...

LOL! Yeah, I was feeling pretty irked earlier.

Loretta Mueller said...

AMEN! I am glad I no longer work in an office atmosphere!