Friday, June 10, 2011

Small Dog Update

The vet found no blood or notable bacteria in his urinalysis, so concluded that he must have an infection down inside the sheath (there was a bit more green goo in there than expected). She sent him home, day before yesterday, with some antibiotics.

If you have delicate sensibilities or are not a dog person, please take this opportunity to skip to the very last paragraph. I urge you.

As soon as I got home he started that bizarre running and sitting thing that he'd been doing a few weeks ago. When I was finally able to catch him I found that he had an erection, and it wasn't going down. I facebooked. I posted on dog boards. I called all of my friends in a panic. I called the emergency vet.

After reading some articles and talking with friends I decided to put him in a tub full of cool water to see if that might... encourage the turtle back into the shell. I knew that the Viagra commercials mention to see a doctor after four hours... and it had been two, but still I was worried. Tiny dog had a wood for two hours. He's neutered, by the way. At any rate, after the bath and talking with the emergency vet I headed over to him with some vaseline, intending to lube up the works a tad. It was then that I finally found it had retracted. I've never in my life been so happy to see something go down!

I've been a crazy person over this. I am aware of it. I am also glad that my friends are all still speaking to me.

Anyway, when the wood finally subsided he started walking normally. My relief was short lived, though, because not long after that he started walking all hunched up and started flipping his tail weird. The pencil was still in it's holder, but it was still obviously... uh... quite stiff and swolen.

Yesterday morning he was laying near me licking himself, and crying. I went over to take a look and he'd licked himself bloody (on the outside of the sheath). I cleaned him up and hit him with some neosporin, and he finally went back to sleep.

Fast forward through another call to the vet and an elizabethan collar for the Small Dog (which thoroughly enraged him) and when I got home from work last night he was completely normal.

Last night I called Pam and was telling her how at lunch his pecker felt... softer and squishier. I explained that I had squeezed Nick and Linc's pieces parts to reference, as well. I then suggested she should go squeeze Rogue's pieces parts to give me a comparison. She declined. I don't know why.

Yes. Crazy person = me. I've never said the word "penis" so many times in my life as I have in the last three days. I am becoming an expert on dog penises, and penile anatomy. It is like having my own... but not. Also, dogs with ouchy penises apparently run sorta sideways. And they buck like broncos. In case you were wondering.

You may start reading again here, if you ducked out back at the beginning...

This morning he is completely normal. He's had four doses of the antibiotic, and they are clearly working. The package is still wrapped and it feels normal to me. It has become glaringly obvious that it has been swolen lately, in general. He appears to have some external sensitivity, but by and large I think he's quite on the mend. It is very stressful when tiny old dogs get sick.


Rachel said...

The part about Pam declining to touch Rogue for reference totally made me almost pee my pants!

I'm glad Zippy is on the mend!

Laura Carson said...

I just don't understand why she wouldn't help a sister out! lol

I'm glad he's on the mend too!! I slept a wee bit better last night. Still not great, but better.

Jean said...

Well, the Penis Chronicles makes for an interesting addition to the Poop Chronicles - I think I see a miniseries here.

Here's hoping it was just a minor infection/irritation which, with the help of the antibiotics, will clear up quickly and permanently. Poor Zippy!

Anonymous said...

Well Pam can be pretty mean, how dare she not help you out in your time of need?

Pippin, the Gentle Pup said...

Glad Zippy's feeling better.

Gotta be brave to have a pack of dogs, huh?

Laura Carson said...

Totally. I never thought, back when I just had Ginger, that I would be able to do some of the things I'm able to do now (with and for the dogs).