I don't usually do NYRs, and I do realize that it's almost February. But I've been thinking. I need some goals. Maybe they're not even really NYRs but more just general life goals. I cannot seem to get myself on track for much of anything lately, so I'm making a list. We all know how much I like lists, so here's my list of short term goals:
1. Blog more
2. Change my work situation
3. Eat less
4. Curse less
5. Eat at least one fruit a day - to start
6. Drink more water - at least 1 bottle/day to start (I'd better get cracking today)
7. Play less FB games (yes, really)
8. Walk dogs more
9. Work on getting a new vehicle
10. Get a new mattress
Ok, so I'm not sure where the vehicle and mattress fall into things, but I can tell you that they're things I NEED. We're not even talking want anymore, we're in the world of need here. I've found that lately I cannot handle a whole lot of huge changes in my life, so I'm aiming for smaller changes - little by little.
I wish I could say that I had major dog working goals this year but I don't. With somewhat limited finances right now it's just not in the cards. I'm thinking about finding some pasture to rent because it really doesn't look like the housing market is getting better any time soon, and I think probably I'm going to have to hold what I've got for now. As for trialling this year, at the moment all I have on tap is working up top with Julie for Robin's trials in March and April. Beyond that... I just don't know.
So that's my list. I'm going to start with the Blog more part of things. I feel sort of blog-unworthy because I do not have a great camera and don't have tons and tons of supercool pictures to illustrate with. I guess we'll all just have to settle for mostly words, and hopefully the usual sort of zany stuff that happens in my world.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Small Dog Goes for a WalkAbout
This is what happened one day at Robin's when the Small Dog went on a walkabout...
No dogs or sheep were harmed in the filming of this video.
No dogs or sheep were harmed in the filming of this video.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Online Dating Decoded
He writes: "I don't normally ask this so soon, but can we meet..."
He means: "I'd like to get laid."
He writes: "Family is the most important thing in my life."
He means: "I live with my mother."
He writes: "Hi, my name is ____ and I'd like to meet you."
He means: "I'd like to get laid."
He writes: "I've not had good luck so far with drawn out emails, so I like to move things along quickly. I think we should meet to see if we mesh."
He means: "So far I'm a total loser, and I'd like to get laid."
He writes: "I love to travel and am looking for that special person to do it with."
He means: "I'd like for you to pay for it."
He writes: "I am known for having a great sense of humor."
He means: "My mother is the only one who laughs at my jokes."
He writes: "I really like your profile and want to get to know you better. Here's my phone number - call me!"
He means: "I'd like to get laid."
Added by KPR:
He writes: "I work nights, so I'm available during the day"
He means: "I'm unemployed ... and married."
He writes: "I'm semi-retired, and my mother is sick, so I sold my house and moved in with her so I can take care of her,"
He means: "I don't have a job and I am a pathetic loser and am mooching off my mother now, but I came up with this great story to fool you with and it's working perfectly."
He means: "I'd like to get laid."
He writes: "Family is the most important thing in my life."
He means: "I live with my mother."
He writes: "Hi, my name is ____ and I'd like to meet you."
He means: "I'd like to get laid."
He writes: "I've not had good luck so far with drawn out emails, so I like to move things along quickly. I think we should meet to see if we mesh."
He means: "So far I'm a total loser, and I'd like to get laid."
He writes: "I love to travel and am looking for that special person to do it with."
He means: "I'd like for you to pay for it."
He writes: "I am known for having a great sense of humor."
He means: "My mother is the only one who laughs at my jokes."
He writes: "I really like your profile and want to get to know you better. Here's my phone number - call me!"
He means: "I'd like to get laid."
Added by KPR:
He writes: "I work nights, so I'm available during the day"
He means: "I'm unemployed ... and married."
He writes: "I'm semi-retired, and my mother is sick, so I sold my house and moved in with her so I can take care of her,"
He means: "I don't have a job and I am a pathetic loser and am mooching off my mother now, but I came up with this great story to fool you with and it's working perfectly."
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Casual Eavesdropper? I think NOT.
I'm standing in the kitchen at work, and I hear, "Blah blah blah I live in Level Cross blah blah blah FARM SITTER blah blah blah CHICKENS blah blah blah".
Farm Sitter? Level Cross? I pipe up, "So I have a friend near you guys that I used to farm sit for - how long does it take you to get to work? Come to think of it, my friend might could use a new farm-sitter since it's too far for me now."
He replied, "Oh, about 30 minutes, but you should tack on another 20 from your friend's place. What does she have?" I replied, "Sheep and Border Collies."
So I tune back out of the conversation, and go on about the business of washing the tea cup (the one that belongs to my boss). Did I ever mention that when I walk through the halls carrying his teacup that I hear the "Imperial Death March" in my head? I do. I even breathe a little bit like Darth Vader. Or a sleestak. Or Darth Vader eating a sleestak. Or maybe a sleestak eating Darth Vader. Whatever, but I hear the song.
I digress.
I'm tuned out again, until I hear, "Oh, but really, horses, cows and sheep are really just all the same".
Errr?
Here's where I begin to run amok. Afoul of the culture. In it with both feet. I pipe in (remember, I'm not really part of this conversation) "Oh but really sheep, cows and horses are not the same at ALL!"
I then proceeded to run my yak about how sheep can be a bit more inclined to fall over dead on you, and farm sitting border collies can take a special touch and so on. Oh yeah, I really know how to make friends around here. I'm not sure if the looks on their faces were looks of horror or glazed over boredom, but I sure did manage to clear out the break room in record speed. Hey, they should be grateful I didn't move on to butchering and having sheep in one's freezer. They're lucky I didn't get into a long diatribe about horses not being able to throw up, and colic, and all sorts of things. That would have taught them to think twice about allowing me to actively eavesdrop on them! So there.
Farm Sitter? Level Cross? I pipe up, "So I have a friend near you guys that I used to farm sit for - how long does it take you to get to work? Come to think of it, my friend might could use a new farm-sitter since it's too far for me now."
He replied, "Oh, about 30 minutes, but you should tack on another 20 from your friend's place. What does she have?" I replied, "Sheep and Border Collies."
So I tune back out of the conversation, and go on about the business of washing the tea cup (the one that belongs to my boss). Did I ever mention that when I walk through the halls carrying his teacup that I hear the "Imperial Death March" in my head? I do. I even breathe a little bit like Darth Vader. Or a sleestak. Or Darth Vader eating a sleestak. Or maybe a sleestak eating Darth Vader. Whatever, but I hear the song.
I digress.
I'm tuned out again, until I hear, "Oh, but really, horses, cows and sheep are really just all the same".
Errr?
Here's where I begin to run amok. Afoul of the culture. In it with both feet. I pipe in (remember, I'm not really part of this conversation) "Oh but really sheep, cows and horses are not the same at ALL!"
I then proceeded to run my yak about how sheep can be a bit more inclined to fall over dead on you, and farm sitting border collies can take a special touch and so on. Oh yeah, I really know how to make friends around here. I'm not sure if the looks on their faces were looks of horror or glazed over boredom, but I sure did manage to clear out the break room in record speed. Hey, they should be grateful I didn't move on to butchering and having sheep in one's freezer. They're lucky I didn't get into a long diatribe about horses not being able to throw up, and colic, and all sorts of things. That would have taught them to think twice about allowing me to actively eavesdrop on them! So there.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Food Rules (according to the Mad Spaghetti Noodle Lady)
I have lots of rules when it comes to food. I like many different things, and am willing to try most things, but there are certain rules that must be followed. Here is a sampling:
1. No food is to be eaten before or while drinking coffee. Once food happens coffee is over - there is no going back. Food is NEVER to be combined with coffee. I don't like for anything to interfere with my coffee experience. Coffee is never to be drunk with dessert - this would interfere with both the coffee experience AND the dessert experience. I know this goes against conventional wisdom, but I just cannot help it.
2. Eggs are to never have runny yolks. Eggs are to never even have yolks that might SUGGEST some form of runniness. Ever. Ew.
3. Breakfast food may be eaten any time of the day. However, dinner foods (such as pizza and fried chicken) may not EVER be eaten for breakfast.
4. Foods that are supposed to be eaten hot may never be eaten cold (ie no cold pizza... no cold fried chicken - see #3). This also applies to coffee.
5. Water goes down best for me when drunk at room temperature. No brain freezes allowed.
6. Candy bars MUST be intact before eating. You just never know who might have been fondling your candy bar at the store. It's perfectly OK to break it up yourself though.
7. Food should not touch. If by some tragedy food DOES touch, it may be allowed as long as neither food is runny. Some dipping sauces fall into the touching rule, others do not. Steak sauce does, ranch dressing does not.
8. Exception to the not touching rule: certain foods may be DIPPED in other foods. For example: roast beef is perfectly acceptable when dipped in one's mashed potatoes. However, it would be unacceptable to fully mix the two. Ew.
9. Everything is better with bacon. Additionally, there is no such thing as too much bacon. Ever.
10. Grits are to be eaten with salt and butter only. No exceptions.
11. Steak sauce is banned. See # 7. So is barbecue sauce, except on ribs.
12. PB&J is an exception to the touching rule. However, the PB and the J should be applied to separate pieces of bread and then put together - NEVER mixed beforehand. Same with PB & Banana.
I'd be interested to see if anyone else has food rules. :) I know I'm not the ONLY freak.
1. No food is to be eaten before or while drinking coffee. Once food happens coffee is over - there is no going back. Food is NEVER to be combined with coffee. I don't like for anything to interfere with my coffee experience. Coffee is never to be drunk with dessert - this would interfere with both the coffee experience AND the dessert experience. I know this goes against conventional wisdom, but I just cannot help it.
2. Eggs are to never have runny yolks. Eggs are to never even have yolks that might SUGGEST some form of runniness. Ever. Ew.
3. Breakfast food may be eaten any time of the day. However, dinner foods (such as pizza and fried chicken) may not EVER be eaten for breakfast.
4. Foods that are supposed to be eaten hot may never be eaten cold (ie no cold pizza... no cold fried chicken - see #3). This also applies to coffee.
5. Water goes down best for me when drunk at room temperature. No brain freezes allowed.
6. Candy bars MUST be intact before eating. You just never know who might have been fondling your candy bar at the store. It's perfectly OK to break it up yourself though.
7. Food should not touch. If by some tragedy food DOES touch, it may be allowed as long as neither food is runny. Some dipping sauces fall into the touching rule, others do not. Steak sauce does, ranch dressing does not.
8. Exception to the not touching rule: certain foods may be DIPPED in other foods. For example: roast beef is perfectly acceptable when dipped in one's mashed potatoes. However, it would be unacceptable to fully mix the two. Ew.
9. Everything is better with bacon. Additionally, there is no such thing as too much bacon. Ever.
10. Grits are to be eaten with salt and butter only. No exceptions.
11. Steak sauce is banned. See # 7. So is barbecue sauce, except on ribs.
12. PB&J is an exception to the touching rule. However, the PB and the J should be applied to separate pieces of bread and then put together - NEVER mixed beforehand. Same with PB & Banana.
I'd be interested to see if anyone else has food rules. :) I know I'm not the ONLY freak.
Monday, November 22, 2010
25 Things I've Learned My First Year in Open
25 Things I've learned my first year trialing a sheepdog in Open (in no particular order):
1. You lose some... and you lose some.
2. One must pay their dues. Many times. It is fair.
3. It's a long way to go to just trial one dog in Open. Where? Anywhere. Anywhere is a long way to go to run just one dog.
4. Campers are good.
5. I wish I could afford one. But I gotz no money.
6. Tents suck.
7. Tents are better than nothing. They suck less than having nothing to sleep in.
8. Whistles are good. It helps to keep the whistle in your mouth.
9. Handler's dinners ROCK. It's a nice departure from PB&J. See #5
10. If I shuddup I can learn from the real handlers there.
11. Rain, in a tent, sucks. See #4
12. Your first open dog will pull lots of stunts designed for ultimate humiliation.
a. Crossing over at your feet
b. Not finding the sheep
c. Getting stuck on the exhaust
d. Blowing you off all the way down the fetch
e. Refusing flanks... and then missing the panels cuz the handler insisted *cough*
f. Looking goofy (Ok, so the long-legged Noodle cannot help this!)
13. Once you get past the point of major explosive trainwrecks but haven't yet achieved true greatness (for the most part) people don't really pay that much attention to your runs. Whew.
14. The first time you actually place in Open is worthy of a tear or two. So is the first major humiliation.
15. The first real shed at a trial, on the fly, with no points off is a very exciting moment.
16. Don't leave the post until you're called off, but temper that with an eye towards good sportsmanship and leave when you should. Learn the difference.
17. Give yourself a tiny break when you're new.
18. Tiny little personal sized porta-potties to go in tents make the tent experience suck a little less. But see #6.
19. Porta potties that spring a leak in your tent suck.
20. People put a lot of hard work, heart, and soul into putting on a trial. Be Grateful.
21. Watch your sheep.
22. Set your dog up right - and make sure the dog actually SEES the sheep before you send it.
23. Laugh a lot.
24. Trialing with friends is fun. Having no friends to hang with sucks. Get more friends. Be nice.
25. I love my dogs - and what a testament it is that we can do this together.
1. You lose some... and you lose some.
2. One must pay their dues. Many times. It is fair.
3. It's a long way to go to just trial one dog in Open. Where? Anywhere. Anywhere is a long way to go to run just one dog.
4. Campers are good.
5. I wish I could afford one. But I gotz no money.
6. Tents suck.
7. Tents are better than nothing. They suck less than having nothing to sleep in.
8. Whistles are good. It helps to keep the whistle in your mouth.
9. Handler's dinners ROCK. It's a nice departure from PB&J. See #5
10. If I shuddup I can learn from the real handlers there.
11. Rain, in a tent, sucks. See #4
12. Your first open dog will pull lots of stunts designed for ultimate humiliation.
a. Crossing over at your feet
b. Not finding the sheep
c. Getting stuck on the exhaust
d. Blowing you off all the way down the fetch
e. Refusing flanks... and then missing the panels cuz the handler insisted *cough*
f. Looking goofy (Ok, so the long-legged Noodle cannot help this!)
13. Once you get past the point of major explosive trainwrecks but haven't yet achieved true greatness (for the most part) people don't really pay that much attention to your runs. Whew.
14. The first time you actually place in Open is worthy of a tear or two. So is the first major humiliation.
15. The first real shed at a trial, on the fly, with no points off is a very exciting moment.
16. Don't leave the post until you're called off, but temper that with an eye towards good sportsmanship and leave when you should. Learn the difference.
17. Give yourself a tiny break when you're new.
18. Tiny little personal sized porta-potties to go in tents make the tent experience suck a little less. But see #6.
19. Porta potties that spring a leak in your tent suck.
20. People put a lot of hard work, heart, and soul into putting on a trial. Be Grateful.
21. Watch your sheep.
22. Set your dog up right - and make sure the dog actually SEES the sheep before you send it.
23. Laugh a lot.
24. Trialing with friends is fun. Having no friends to hang with sucks. Get more friends. Be nice.
25. I love my dogs - and what a testament it is that we can do this together.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Just One Recent (mis)Adventure of Mad Spaghetti
Back several weeks ago I was headed out to a trial (Highland Occasional SDT, I think, at Donald McCaig's). I had packed almost everything up in the van when I remembered I needed to put something else in there. I went up to the sliding door, and pulled the handle. Nothing happened. I mean, nothing. I locked and unlocked the doors, and pulled again. Nothing happened. I pulled. Nothing. I pulled again. NOTHING.
Hm. Maybe I should pull harder, I thought to myself.
I pulled harder. Nothing. I reared back and YANKED.
Suddenly I found myself arse over teakettle rolling backwards through the front yard, door handle in my hand. I jumped up (that's what adrenaline will do for you - normally I have to grumble and groan and use something to pull myself up) and brushed off my behind. I looked around to ascertain that nobody was around to see this. Whew.
I walked up to the van to see that I had pulled the entire door handle off of the van - and it had even warped the metal where it came out.
So what did I do? I called my Mom. "Mom, you're not going to believe this. I just pulled the door handle off of the Van!" Somehow she believed it. "How did you manage that?", she asked.
Uh, I'm an idiot? I said, "I have no idea. I really didn't even pull it that hard."
Yeah, right.
Hm. Maybe I should pull harder, I thought to myself.
I pulled harder. Nothing. I reared back and YANKED.
Suddenly I found myself arse over teakettle rolling backwards through the front yard, door handle in my hand. I jumped up (that's what adrenaline will do for you - normally I have to grumble and groan and use something to pull myself up) and brushed off my behind. I looked around to ascertain that nobody was around to see this. Whew.
I walked up to the van to see that I had pulled the entire door handle off of the van - and it had even warped the metal where it came out.
So what did I do? I called my Mom. "Mom, you're not going to believe this. I just pulled the door handle off of the Van!" Somehow she believed it. "How did you manage that?", she asked.
Uh, I'm an idiot? I said, "I have no idea. I really didn't even pull it that hard."
Yeah, right.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Conversations with a NoodleHead
This past weekend at the Rural Hill SDT:
Me: You are going to go around those horses.
Noodle: No, I am not.
Me: Yes, you are!
Noodle: NO, I am NOT.
Me: OH YES YOU ARE!
Noodle: NO, I AM NOT!!!!!!!
This is followed by a duck inside of the horse to jigger the sheep off sideways, followed by covering… followed by:
Me: LIE DOWN!!! LIE DOWN!!! LIE DOWN!!! (side note: all lie downs are given in Linc-worthy voice of doom)
Noodle aka PunkBoy: *doggie finger*
Me: LIE DOWN YOU LISTEN LIE DOWN LIE DOWN
PunkBoy: la la la la la la la can’t hear you la la la la la
Me: LIE DOWN DO YOU HEAR ME YOU BETTER LIE DOWN
Me: *raises stick* (side note: this is guaranteed to make him actually run away)
PunkBoy: *raises doggie finger* la la la la can't hear you cuz I'm bringing the sheep la la la la
The sheep eventually get to my feet, and he eventually takes his fingers out of his ears.
Me: You are going to go around those horses.
Noodle: No, I am not.
Me: Yes, you are!
Noodle: NO, I am NOT.
Me: OH YES YOU ARE!
Noodle: NO, I AM NOT!!!!!!!
This is followed by a duck inside of the horse to jigger the sheep off sideways, followed by covering… followed by:
Me: LIE DOWN!!! LIE DOWN!!! LIE DOWN!!! (side note: all lie downs are given in Linc-worthy voice of doom)
Noodle aka PunkBoy: *doggie finger*
Me: LIE DOWN YOU LISTEN LIE DOWN LIE DOWN
PunkBoy: la la la la la la la can’t hear you la la la la la
Me: LIE DOWN DO YOU HEAR ME YOU BETTER LIE DOWN
Me: *raises stick* (side note: this is guaranteed to make him actually run away)
PunkBoy: *raises doggie finger* la la la la can't hear you cuz I'm bringing the sheep la la la la
The sheep eventually get to my feet, and he eventually takes his fingers out of his ears.
Me: You better listen to me when I’m talking to you. Do you hear me?
Punkboy: Oh, Hi! I didn’t realize that you were here! Did you see how far I went and how far I had to bring them? And didn’t they arrive in spectacular fashion?
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Follow Up Conversation
So "I cannot copy for myself' called me again to say, "Do I mail things myself, or do you do it for me?" I responded, "Typically people here mail things for themselves, so yes, you would do it". The conversation progressed a little like this:
Old Guy: I have an envelope and these signed letters, so now what do I do? I know, I'll fold them up and put them in the envelope
Me: Have you addressed the envelope?
Old Guy: No.
Me: Ok. So you need to start by addressing the envelope. If you don't address it then it won't get very far.
Old Guy: Ok. Then what?
Me: You then put the letters in it, seal it up, and take it to the guys who put the postage on it. They'll then put the postage on it, and it'll go out.
At this point I could literally FEEL him wanting me to do it for him. Had he asked I would have, but I'm just not going to play this sort of passive aggressive game.
So, Old Guy, mail your own letter. This is just not that difficult.
Old Guy: I have an envelope and these signed letters, so now what do I do? I know, I'll fold them up and put them in the envelope
Me: Have you addressed the envelope?
Old Guy: No.
Me: Ok. So you need to start by addressing the envelope. If you don't address it then it won't get very far.
Old Guy: Ok. Then what?
Me: You then put the letters in it, seal it up, and take it to the guys who put the postage on it. They'll then put the postage on it, and it'll go out.
At this point I could literally FEEL him wanting me to do it for him. Had he asked I would have, but I'm just not going to play this sort of passive aggressive game.
So, Old Guy, mail your own letter. This is just not that difficult.
You want me to do WHAT?
I sit approximately seven feet from the copier. One of the managers came over a few minutes ago, stood BETWEEN me and the copier, and said, "Can you please make a copy of this for me?".
Seriously?
I got up, and responded, "Would you like to stand here and wait while I do this?" He nodded. I then said, "Would you like to come stand NEXT to the copier while I copy for you?" to which he replied, "I guess I could copy it myself but I'd probably mess it up". Yeah buddy, you probably would. You're ancient, a bumbler, and a bigot. What does the bigotry have to do with the ancientness? Nothing, it's just an observation. I gave him "the Eyebrow". I'll admit that the Eyebrow was relatively ineffective since I'm wearing my glasses at the moment. But I gave it to him anyway. I don't think he noticed.
Two weeks ago my shining moment in my new job was that my boss LET me go buy a gift for him to give at a baby shower. Keep in mind, however, that I was required to go to the baby shower in his stead. Did I mention how much I hate baby showers? Hate. Major hate. Baby showers rank right up there with bridal showers, weddings, funerals, and company parties. Oh yeah, I'm really moving up the corporate ladder. Watch out bottom feeders, soon I'll be taking over your position.
Two weeks ago my boss also LET me go get his car washed for him. Again. This was also a shining moment. This is what my work-life has become. Yay me.
For a while I coped with donuts. That upset my stomach. Then for a while I coped with copious amounts of wine. THAT upset my stomach. This week I'm resorting to shopping. This is also upsetting my stomach, but more like a vague acid thing as opposed to complete faucet-ass. Next week I plan to employ a new coping mechanism but I haven't picked it out yet. Maybe I'll go with something slightly less self destructive like enjoying my own witty banter and self-indulgence by blogging. It might upset my readers' stomachs, but maybe I'll feel a little better.
Seriously?
I got up, and responded, "Would you like to stand here and wait while I do this?" He nodded. I then said, "Would you like to come stand NEXT to the copier while I copy for you?" to which he replied, "I guess I could copy it myself but I'd probably mess it up". Yeah buddy, you probably would. You're ancient, a bumbler, and a bigot. What does the bigotry have to do with the ancientness? Nothing, it's just an observation. I gave him "the Eyebrow". I'll admit that the Eyebrow was relatively ineffective since I'm wearing my glasses at the moment. But I gave it to him anyway. I don't think he noticed.
Two weeks ago my shining moment in my new job was that my boss LET me go buy a gift for him to give at a baby shower. Keep in mind, however, that I was required to go to the baby shower in his stead. Did I mention how much I hate baby showers? Hate. Major hate. Baby showers rank right up there with bridal showers, weddings, funerals, and company parties. Oh yeah, I'm really moving up the corporate ladder. Watch out bottom feeders, soon I'll be taking over your position.
Two weeks ago my boss also LET me go get his car washed for him. Again. This was also a shining moment. This is what my work-life has become. Yay me.
For a while I coped with donuts. That upset my stomach. Then for a while I coped with copious amounts of wine. THAT upset my stomach. This week I'm resorting to shopping. This is also upsetting my stomach, but more like a vague acid thing as opposed to complete faucet-ass. Next week I plan to employ a new coping mechanism but I haven't picked it out yet. Maybe I'll go with something slightly less self destructive like enjoying my own witty banter and self-indulgence by blogging. It might upset my readers' stomachs, but maybe I'll feel a little better.
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