I sit approximately seven feet from the copier. One of the managers came over a few minutes ago, stood BETWEEN me and the copier, and said, "Can you please make a copy of this for me?".
I got up, and responded, "Would you like to stand here and wait while I do this?" He nodded. I then said, "Would you like to come stand NEXT to the copier while I copy for you?" to which he replied, "I guess I could copy it myself but I'd probably mess it up". Yeah buddy, you probably would. You're ancient, a bumbler, and a bigot. What does the bigotry have to do with the ancientness? Nothing, it's just an observation. I gave him "the Eyebrow". I'll admit that the Eyebrow was relatively ineffective since I'm wearing my glasses at the moment. But I gave it to him anyway. I don't think he noticed.
Two weeks ago my shining moment in my new job was that my boss LET me go buy a gift for him to give at a baby shower. Keep in mind, however, that I was required to go to the baby shower in his stead. Did I mention how much I hate baby showers? Hate. Major hate. Baby showers rank right up there with bridal showers, weddings, funerals, and company parties. Oh yeah, I'm really moving up the corporate ladder. Watch out bottom feeders, soon I'll be taking over your position.
Two weeks ago my boss also LET me go get his car washed for him. Again. This was also a shining moment. This is what my work-life has become. Yay me.
For a while I coped with donuts. That upset my stomach. Then for a while I coped with copious amounts of wine. THAT upset my stomach. This week I'm resorting to shopping. This is also upsetting my stomach, but more like a vague acid thing as opposed to complete faucet-ass. Next week I plan to employ a new coping mechanism but I haven't picked it out yet. Maybe I'll go with something slightly less self destructive like enjoying my own witty banter and self-indulgence by blogging. It might upset my readers' stomachs, but maybe I'll feel a little better.