Worries

Yes, Ok, so I'm going to break my (3 months? How did THAT happen?) silence to dribble out a post on some of my dog worries. I feel like I'm going to pop, though, if I don't lay them down.

This morning Ginger seems to be having a relapse of her vestibular syndrome. I understand that relapses do occur, but the part concerning me is that her eyes are tracking differently this time from the last. First round her eyes tracked side to side, with a slight rotation. This time they're tracking up and down and she's blinking a lot. I don't know how normal THAT is. I'm going to watch her for the moment. She's in good spirits and having no issues eating, which is a good thing. She's not nearly as unsteady on her feet as she was in round one, but it may get worse. I worry mostly about the implications of the nystagmus.

I have this irrational fear after losing Zippy in April that I'm going to lose another one of my dogs this year.

I'm stressed because I have a 14 month old puppy that's not even started on sheep yet. I've had her out a few times but I haven't really started her yet. Part of me feels like I'm not doing her justice. I know that I WILL do her justice in time. It just frustrates me to be stuck in this place that I'm in.

That being said, though, I'm doing things for myself to get my financial house in order (which once done I'll be able to get my dog started, and hopefully get Linc finished!). I'm so tired of worrying about money, so while it makes things very tight for me in the short term I see the light at the end of the tunnel. That's a good thing! But it means my dogs are getting very little work (ie and Pia's not started yet). We have a set-out job coming up in a few months, and should do some farm-sitting in the fall. That'll help.

It frustrates me that the finals are going to be so close to home next year and I don't have the financial wherewithal to even *try* to get my dogs qualified (and with Nick in his prime).

A week ago I had a suspicious lump removed from Linc's wrist. It turned out to be a histiocytoma, which is good news indeed, so I can at least stop worrying about that part of things. I was a bit concerned as the incision was still oozing ever so slightly up until Saturday night, but only after going out to potty. The oozing has stopped though, thankfully, and the incision is looking good.

However, last night it appeared that one of his sutures had come... untied I guess, for lack of a better term. The incision looked good and closed in that spot, but because it's a high tension area I was concerned about losing it altogether and applying more tension on the spots that are already struggling to stay closed. So this morning before work I got out a flashlight and two pairs of tweezers and retied it. This was no easy feat, for sure. Lucky for me the vet left long ends so I could count stitches... and so I could retie, though I'm guessing she didn't exactly have that scenario in mind.

I'll be glad when Linc is able to get out of lock down. With his incision being near his wrist it's a very un-meaty place with a lot of tension, so he's on lockdown in the lampshade of doom. He's taking it mostly in stride though.

I suppose that's enough of this rambling pity/worry party. Those are the ones most on my mind. Maybe now I can let some of it go a little.

To add a little levity - this morning I ate my yogurt with a fork. Desperate times and all.

I'm reminded and comforted by the fact that the greatest gift I give my dogs is a good life and the opportunity to do things with me, and just BE with me.

If you even managed to make it this far without your eyes glazing over, cookie for you!