40 Things About Me

I'm not really sure if there are rules or something to follow in this game, but from what I gather we're to tell 40 things about ourselves, and then tag 3 others to do the same. 'Sposed to add a current picture and I don't have anything really current, so here's the best I can do:

That's the Turd and I back this August? Something like that - up at Roy Johnson's. Good picture of her. Me, not so much.

Anyway, here goes:

40 things about me:

1. I have a thing for animal's feeties. I think my favorite feeties are polar bear feeties. I love to go to the zoo and watch them swim around paddling with those big cute feet. I also like dog feeties and cat feeties. I like human baby feeties too. Human grown up feeties not as much.

2. I like the smell of horse poo (yes, really) Horse anything, really.

3. I once ate one brussels sprout. Never again - it is Not. Food.

4. When I was a kid I could put both feet behind my head. Those days are LONG gone. I’m lucky to manage to get ONE foot just in a shoe these days.

5. I was a gymnast from the age of 5 to 15. I competed in the Junior Olympics when I was eleven. Unfortunately when I double fractured a wrist at 13 I grew 6”. I grew boobs and hips too – pretty much all were the death song for a gymnast. I eventually taught for the man who’d coached me. The passion for gymnastics has never really left me.

6. I also did some competitive swimming. I was fast, but had negative zero endurance.

7. I went on, eventually, to lifeguard. My fave was working at country clubs where you’d be on for thirty minutes, and off for an hour and a half – and we were allowed to do whatever we wanted there for our time off. My thing usually was harassing the snack bar guy out of a hamburger.

8. At one point I headed up the gymnastics program at a YMCA. I hated it. The equipment was crap, and the gym there was so dreary… and I had to haul the equipment in and out every session. Yuck.

9. I was a cheerleader in high school. Not one of those perky flying through the air chicks, no. One of those in your face angry types (picture “Bring it On”). Headbanger gone awry. We liked to pick cheer fights with other teams. We were pretty darned good at what we did, too.

10. For a white girl I can even dance a little. I sort of tried to teach Mary and Julie the “Running Man” while we were pounding fence posts one day. It was hot and miserable outside, and while they didn’t learn the dance we got a good giggle out of it anyway.

11. That brings me to headbanging. In high school I hung out with a group of headbangers. We used to entertain ourselves by spraying hairspray on our jeans and setting our legs on fire. For real. I didn’t inhale, though, I promise. Maybe that’s why I have very little hair on my thighs.

12. I’ve never smoked anything – pot or cigarettes.

13. I snuck into the house once (and only once ever), while carrying a pizza box. I literally fell THROUGH the window, and landed with a huge thud. I hit my head on my waterbed, but yet I somehow managed to NOT wake anyone.

14. I once fed my little brother rabbit turds. I made “berry pies” and fed them to him. In my defense I was five, and honestly thought they were berries. My mother was horrified.

15. Once my brother and I wet toilet paper and threw it up onto the ceiling in my grandfather’s bathroom. Did you know that wadded up balls of wet toilet paper stick to ceilings? Well, they do. So then we tried jumping off of the toilet to bat them down. We got into BIG trouble for that one.
16. We also put M&M’s in my Papaw’s ears when he was sleeping. He was not impressed.

17. I once as a child took a piece of cheese into my Dad’s bedroom with me, where I proceeded to chew it long enough to make it gooey, and then stuffed it in Dad’s ears. He was not impressed. Funny how he laughs about it now though.

18. I travelled with the Concert Choir in my first college stint.

19. I managed to get a BA in Psychology during my second college stint. I had a concentration in Interpersonal Communications. What this means essentially is that I have a useless degree, care about other people, and am not afraid to talk about it. For that matter, I’m not afraid to talk about anything.

20. One time I decided to ride a horse bareback – but with no bridle, no halter, no nothing. Did I mention this was an arabian? Stallion? Yeah, OK, so I’d decided we were so in-tune with each other that I could communicate with my knees and voice (very zen ESPish of me, no?). Fifteen fast and furious minutes later –and I assure you he NEVER slowed down - I finally bailed (thankfully we were in a round pen – I might be a loonie, but I’m not completely daft). He slammed on brakes, and looked at me as if to say, “What are you doing down there? Weren’t we having fun?”

21. My favorite movie ever is the Sound of Music. I’m on my second copy now because the first disappeared.

22. My second favorite movie is Mary Poppins. Notice a theme here?

23. I hate living in the city – all but the part where Papa Johns Pizza delivers to my house.

24. I once gave CPR to a goldfish (not one of mine). It got a pebble from the bottom of its tank stuck in its mouth (throat?). I squeezed its sides and popped the stone out. He swam away gratefully.

25. I also rescued my catfish from death by snail shell. He’d stuck his wonky little wide head in a snail shell (minus the snail) and had gotten stuck. I grabbed him around the middle in and wiggled him back and forth until his head popped free. He swam away slightly less gratefully than the goldfish did.

26. I tried snuff once. I almost threw up on my shoes. I was at a stable, so I turned the water hose into my mouth, only to find that it had amazing water pressure. I believe even my eyeballs got a washing in that deal.

27. I take my cooking in spurts. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I go on strike.

28. I hate disorganization, but my life tends to lend towards the chaotic.

29. I love stupid movies like “Dumb and Dumber” and “Tommy Boy”. This does not, by the way, include “Drillbit Taylor” which CR and I snored through at the movie theater on our second or third date. ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZzz

30. I want to be a wine connoisseur, but unfortunately cannot get past the fact that
(a) I don’t like wine very much most of the time, and
(b) I’m a cheap drunk with low alcohol tolerance

31. The ocean scares me. There are swimmy things that I cannot see in there. I haven’t stepped foot into the ocean past my ankles since my early teens.

32. When I was a kid my best friend’s family and mine would spend a few weeks each summer at the beach together (this was pre-oceaniphobia). These were some of my best childhood memories, and some of the few that are wholly intact. She (Vicky) and I would throw our bathing suits up into the ceiling fan blades to see where they would get slung. Don’t ask.

33. I’ve only ever lived in NC and SC.

34. In Kindergarten I used to chase boys on the playground, tackle them, and kiss them. I accidentally rubbed one guy’s face in the gravel. Had he been sensible and stood still he could have been spared the suffering. He got kissed anyway for his efforts.

35. I have a running list of things that cause me gastronomic distress.

36. One of my favorite singers is James Taylor. I totally dig him, and want to rub his shiney bald head.

37. I’m addicted to American Idol.

38. I’m also addicted to Bacon Cheese Fries. Oh wait, are we supposed to be telling things that everyone else doesn’t know? HAH!

39. I tried to play softball for a while. I suck at it. I throw like a girl, hit like a girl, and sometimes even run like a girl.

40. I like to peel grapes before I eat them. Sometimes.

Oh, and I almost forgot to tag 3 others. How about:

Sam http://hollyzacandtheiradventures.blogspot.com/

Julie http://willowsrest.blogspot.com/

Robin http://shooflyfarm.blogspot.com/