Monday, January 16, 2012

The Blind Date Story

Back in 2011 I had this blind date. I blogged BEFORE the date but not after. I avoided the after just on the off chance that he might stumble across my blog. Well, it's been a year so I figure statute of limitations are up. So this one is for Julie's sister, Renee.

I went on a blind date with this guy that I'd met off of match.com. After a month or two of emailing and phone calls I met him at a restaurant for dinner, for our first date. I was looking smoking hot, and prepared for sparks to fly. Or something.

On his profile he said he was 5'9". Now, I'm 5'8" flat footed, and I'm rarely flat-footed unless I'm barefoot. Most of the time I'm wearing about 2" heels, and clocking in closer to 5'10". That night was no exception. But hey, if he was 5'9" I figured I'd probably be more or less looking him straight in the eye.

He was 5'6" if he was an inch. Not only was I taller but I was practically TOWERING over him.

In all honesty he was rocking some pudge (and far be it from me to be too critical on THAT note) and he wasn't exactly rocking a full head of hair. I was going to overlook the fat and bald thing (hey, I mean, I'm rocking some fat myself at the moment). But I was really struggling past the towering over him thing.

I felt a little bit like "Lurch Goes Out to Eat".

It wasn't too bad, though, until we got up to walk out together. He definitely got some gentlemanly points for walking me out to my car (and for paying for dinner). I thought to myself that if he hugged me... oh I don't think so. Sure enough, the awkward hug moment came, and I shifted around and gave him one of those side shoulder hug/pat dealies. No way was I letting him plant his face... uh... there.

But then it somehow managed to go south from there. As we stood briefly talking he looked into my car and saw the crates. He started crying. In case you missed it, he cried. On a date. On the FIRST date. With ME.

He blubbered something about animals shouldn't be caged. He was totally down with the idea of six dogs, but the idea of them being in cages had him undone.

I'd hate to think how he'd feel about taking sheep to slaughter.

Needless to say that was the one and only date with him. He kept saying how we should do it again. Uh... no. I could overlook a lot, but the crying over the crate thing was bad. I like men to show emotion, up to a point. However, I expect a guy to get his Tarzan on early in a relationship.

23 comments:

Doniene said...

I'm smiling pretty big, but not to make fun of you! But "lurch"! The crying about the crates would have undone me! What does he think about children being in car seats! Sorry, it went so badly!

Laura Carson said...

It IS funny (though honestly I'm a much better story teller than I am a story writer). Yea, the crying thing was pretty much a show stopper. I wasn't upset though, not really. Sadly enough I wasn't really that interested, even prior to the date. That seems to be the way of things lately - I'm hoping maybe someone will come along who makes me all tingly and silly teenager. Ok, maybe not silly teenager.

Becca Shouse said...

"Tarzan on"! You go! Match really messed up there. They are supposed to get culled out for lying, aren't they? Talk about "blind"!

Laura Carson said...

Not as much on match. Eharmony is very stringent and has that personality profile (much like an MMPI) but match.com lets you put whatever on your profile.

That being said, eharmony kept matching me up with guys who wanted to be missionaries and move to Uganda.

Katy said...

Crying. On a first date. Over crating your dogs. That's pretty priceless and EXACTLY why I encourage (beg!) all my friends to go on match.com or craigslist...or sometimes just sit around garage sales fingering things in an interesting way.

You should have told him that you were going to ask him back to your place but don't know how he'd take the kittens in jars.

Ann said...

Exactly, Katy! I love when my friends are on Match.com!

Ann said...

Sorry, Laura! ;-)

Ann said...

A friend of mine was rejected by eHarmony! That's gotta be a blow!

Paula said...

LOL! Crying??? Wow.

Laura Carson said...

Yep. Crying. Ew. That definitely goes on the top 10 first date mistakes list.

Milady said...

Melanie here! I enjoyed this piece, please email me--I have a question about your blog. MelanieLBowen[at]gmail[dot]com

Laura Carson said...

By the way, he was a really nice guy. I got the impression that he was a stand-up sort of guy.

Jean said...

Okay, I think your blind date story tops mine (also met through a match-making service, albeit decades ago before the age of computers) - Mine made spitballs out of bits of the paper napkin and tossed them into the centreof the restaurant while we were waiting for our meal.
But at least he didn't cry about it.

Beth said...

Wow. I've had some awkward first date moments, but never tears. Well done! :)

RFP said...

Thank you Laura. Just, thank you. :)

Karissa said...

I get you on the height thing -- I'm also 5'8" and I have a huge hang-up about being taller than a guy. For whatever reason, short guys don't seem bothered at all about being with a taller woman, but it is a total no-go for me.

That aside, the crying over crates thing is just too odd. Did he have a PETA bumper sticker on his car??

I did a stint on match.com several years ago. I went out with something like six guys, nothing ever went anywhere. If they were interested in me, I wasn't interested in them -- or just the opposite. It sucked.

What I hate about eHarmony is that I made an account there when I was way younger -- and thus had a lot different views and values than I do now. But because I made a profile when I was like 21, it won't let me redo the questions and still wants to match me up with the losers I was interested in 11 years ago.

Laura Carson said...

Beth, awkward. And then some. I have some sort of knack for attracting weirdos.

RFP, you're welcome. :)

Jean, I think the spitball thing might run neck and neck with the crying thing. Close.

Karissa, no PETA sticker that I could see. He was just really sensitive... he just chose the wrong girl to be all sensitive in front of. This wasn't minor tearing, this was more of the borderline balling category. *shudder*

Dating sux.

MGHughes said...

Don't feel so bad... I been going on seven years now with online personals... Yahoo then to Match and also with Farmersonly... Only been out with like three people, you including (never went anywhere with us since I knew being a hands on person I could not have kept out of your business in traning your dogs, you had mentioned about the tone or something like that on how I talked to the dogs and knew it was something I could do nothing about with the way my hearing is). Some things are better up front than found out later... A relationship with someone whom cannot handle your chosen way of life or cannot abide by certain ground rules in certain situations is no person to be with... Talked with many people whom would have me hide the fact that I have present/future desire to have anything to do with dairy/livestock/farming/ranching/agriculture. Finding anyone whom will take the chance of saying hello much less taking holding a lasting conversation has proven to be a leap of luck!

Mara said...

Oh wow. Crying? Over the crates? on a first date :o

My SIL keeps suggesting that I try out eHarmony. Then I read a story like this one and I'm scared off again...

Laura Carson said...

Mara, I thought eharmony was not too bad. I would suggest giving it a try - just be careful and slowly take your personality inventory. My biggest problem was that I overshot the runway on my religious preferences and then they wouldn't let me go back and redo the personality inventory. It was a big deal, and frustrating.

Kelly said...

HA HA at least he didn't say
"I have something to tell you"
Me - "what is that" (thinking oh doG what)
Him - "I'm married and my wife has no idead i'm out on this date"
Me - "Ummm ok are you serious? I'm really tired I think I should go home now..."

Laura Carson said...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that would be a mood killer. lol

gvmama said...

Oh Laura...thanks for making my day. Sorry, he didn't make your night. At least he didn't turn out to be the Boston Strangler. Though, sounds like he had a few 'mental' problems.